Speak now
by drarrylicious
Summary: Don't say yes, run away now, I'll meet you when you're out of the church at the back door. Don't wait or say a single vow, you need to hear me out and they said "speak now"...CRISSPEZ (Darren/Lauren)
1. This

**A/N: Sooo it's 6.30 in the morning and I just finished cause clearly I have no life! This is supposed to be a longfic, so i should be updating soon. The main pair and pretty much what's everything about is Darren/Lauren but maybe it'll have some hints of other couples (surely Joey/Jaime and Breredith)**

**Warning: This chapter doesn't have smut, but the fic will have smut. And swears and alcohol and all other things.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Team Starkid or any other mentioned here, I do own Zack but if you want to imagine him as someone of Starkid that's fine. also it's everything in my head.**

* * *

**Chapter 1**

Lauren got out of the car with a quick movement, and she glanced the crowd that was already waiting outside the theatre, excited and most of them with a pair of pink sunglasses above their heads. She smiled. She wouldn't mind at all to walk to them and at least say hi, but she had been told to enter for the back entrance. She leaned a little on the front seat's door of the car, to be able to talk with the guy comfortably sitting in there as he lighted his cigar.

"You're going to pick me up when it's done?" Lauren asked him.

"Sure, just text me and I'll be here. Are you sure you don't want me to stay?" he looked at the people half block from them, between curious and worried, while he took a puff of his cigarette. That wasn't an usual concert crowd.

"Oh, don't worry, it's okay. Besides, it's already sold out" Actually, she could have him backstage if she wanted to, but she didn't. She didn't want him to be there. He never understood her career. He didn't have a problem with her being an actress, actually he went to her shows in off-Broadway, but didn't really like her main work, he thought it was pretty dumb. "I'll text you" she added and leaned to give him a little kiss.

He started the car, so she went for the back entrance.

His name was Zack. They met in her first day in New York. She accidentally hit him with her bag looking for her apartment, and she said she was sorry a million times, but according to him the only way he could forgive her was if she accepted a coffee from him. They started dating the next week after that. He was always in his big white car, so he drove her all the places she needed to. She wasn't crazy about him, but he was a nice and attractive guy, she liked him and they usually get along, they attended to a several number of events together and they had a great time, he cared about her. But the only thing she could complain was that they couldn't share really deep talks. They couldn't just sit in the bed and talk all night long. They didn't have a lot in common. He was a city guy, he liked baseball, cars and wet t-shirt's contests. Of course Lauren liked baseball too, but sometimes she wanted more than that. Even though, in that moment going to the cinema and laughing together in front of the big screen was enough. She was happy.

"Miss Lopez?" the bodyguard in front of the door asked her as he saw her coming.

"Yes."

He opened the door for her and she felt instantly happy as she put a feet on that place. Irving Plaza. That was one of her favorite places in New York, even though she got to know a lot of new adventures in there in the past times. She didn't actually move to New York, but she had been renting an apartment for the last month. She was selected for a really good play in off-Broadway, and she was very happy at the moment. The cast and people were, in general, kind with her and she was making her own way. She was planning to go back to Chicago as soon as the season finished, but she was enjoying that moment in her favorite city.

She walked in the hallways and when she started to think she was getting lost, she spotted Darren's tiny agent. He greeted her and pointed at her dressing room. Although, Lauren never liked that man. She was about to enter when a sound distracted her. Some guitar's chords were messing around in the room next to her. Her heart raced, and not paying attention to that tiny annoying agent, she walked to the other room. A wide smile showed up in her face when she saw some recently cropped curls leaned near to a guitar's strings.

"Hey, stranger" she said from the door.

Darren turned his head back, immediately stopping the song that was probably still in progress. Without saying a thing, he approached her quickly and gave her a long tight hug. His hands wrapped her waist and her nose found a place on his neck. It was a long time since the last time they've met.

"I've missed you" he finally spitted "I'm glad you were here to make it to the concert."

"I couldn't miss it. I'm Darren Criss' biggest fan" she joked, and he just laughed before letting her go. "Do you have an actual idea of what the hell I am going to do here?" But she didn't need to hear his answer, she knew him too well. He didn't have anything prepared.

"Well… We have an hour left. We can still have a little rehearsal."

They barely had time to settle what they were about to sing. They did a quick sound check, and after that Lauren stayed backstage going through the lyrics while Darren was onstage with the band practicing his own songs. They decided to play Going back to Hogwarts (It was a classic, they just couldn't skip that one), Granger Danger, Even though (That was the hard one for Lauren, because she never actually learned the lyrics), and Not Alone (they weren't sure about how their version would actually be because they just decided everything so quickly, but luckily it would end up awesome).

A minutes after, she drank a sip of her bottle of water, and she took a place on the wings. Lauren sat on a chair putting her bottle on the floor, so the people wouldn't see her until it was her turn to sing, that was at the end of the show. Darren took a place next to her, stood up, looking at the staff making the last preparations on the stage. The crowd was already in the theatre, and they were screaming at the top of their lungs every time a new member of the staff stepped on.

"Three minutes" his agent warned, always a few steps behind Darren.

"How do you feel?" Lauren asked him quietly. That wasn't his first concert at all, it wasn't even the first time in Irving Plaza, but things have changed since he made a show in there for the last time. She knew he was a little nervous.

"Fine. It's just… no, I'm fine." He interrupted himself.

"What?" Lauren punched him on his lap, like a little girl who wants a kid to tell her his biggest secret.

"Two minutes left" that high pitched voice sounded. She was about to punch that annoying man.

"I have new songs." He added, as if no one was getting in the conversation. He took a deep breath before continuing "Most of them are totally new. Things are different now. Very different. You know that. Of course my style was enough a year ago, but now maybe that changed. I don't know. What if they don't like the songs?"

"They always do." She encouraged him.

"One minute…" Darren's agent cut in.

Lauren saw in that now famous and grown up man, a little insecure-college-Darren. He was playing with his own hands and didn't look at her, his gaze was stuck on the stage and he knew there were just a few seconds left. Some member of the staff handed him his guitar, and he thanked him. He took the guitar's strap but Lauren stopped him with her tiny hands. He looked so nervous, he was going to screw up if he showed up like that.

"Listen, you're going to be awesome. They all are going to get cray just because you are here. And you know you have never disappointed them. You have never disappointed me. We love you, asshole. Go out there and kick some ass. And if you mess up you can always take off your shirt to make up the situation"

Only then she let them put his guitar's string on his shoulder. He smiled, and that smile was enough for letting her know he was relaxed and confident now.

"Jesus, Lo, thank you. You know I-"

"Now, it's time." The man almost yelled, pushing him a little.

He just had time to grin at Lauren before stepping on the stage. Instant madness, the crowd exploded. She couldn't help but smile while she looked at him giving some confusing but adorable introductions. In a matter of minutes the wings were full of Darren's friends, but she didn't know most of them, it was just after a few minutes that Joe Moses came up. He greeted her and took place next to her.

The show was amazing. He did mess up a few times, but that was usual and nothing really regrettable. She enjoyed every minute watching him doing what he loved the most. His eyes were full of passion, and the way he moved around along with the rhythm of every song was gripping. She never thought he was so talented like in that moment.

Indeed, he sang a lot of new songs, but did a set of covers too. He played a Whitney Houston song, "Armageddon" of Aerosmith, and then, he kindly hushed the fans, that was something he used to do in his concerts when he really wanted to concentrate.

"Now I want to play a song…" he said, taking a little towel from his pocket and whipping his face. He was sweating like hell, it didn't matter if it was snowing outside, he always sweated. "It's a song that… Well, it earned a meaningful appreciation for me in the last times. I'm glad I'm in New York to play it because hopefully the person I want will be listening to it." He started to stroke the strings of the guitar in some discrete chords.

He looked at some point between the crowd and then, a second before starting to sing, he turned his head back and looked directly to Lauren. Her heart stopped, how did he manage to find so quickly her eyes between all of the people? She couldn't react fast enough to even put a smile, immediately he looked back to the floor when started to sing.

_This is the start of something beautiful_

_This is the start of something new_

_You are the one that make me loose it all_

_You are the start of something new_

She recognized Ed Sheeran's lyrics. She couldn't look away. Her heart was having troubles to keep going with her usual rhythm. Why did he look at her? What was his intention? In her head echoed the words "I'm glad I'm in New York… the person I want will be listening to it…" Was he playing for her? A love song? She didn't understand.

"Does he mean…?" Joe started.

"I don't know" she interrupted him. She didn't want anyone to make a sound in that moment. The only thing she cared about was the man on the center of the stage with his eyes slightly closed and his voice reaching softly every note in the perfect way.

_And I'll throw it all away_

_Watched you fall into my arms again_

_And I'll throw it all away_

_Watch you fall, now_

_You are the earth I will stand upon_

_You are the words I will sing_

The boys around her started to look at her, she was tearing up. She didn't even know why. Darren was playing that song for her. No one ever did something like that for her. She whipped some tears that flowed from her eyes, but hold her gaze on the man who was focused on singing as if there wasn't anything else in the world. His voice was so strong, but at the same time it touched her in a way no other voice ever did.

Joe rubbed her back. She didn't react and didn't look at him but she knew he was smiling, excited for them. Her own smile was shaking but she couldn't get it away from her face. It was just a beautiful moment.

_And I've thrown it all away_

_Watched you fall into his arms again_

_And I've thrown it all away_

_Watched you fall, now_

_And take me back_

_Take me home_

_Watch me fall, down to earth_

_Take me back, home_

She never would have thought something so cheesy would catch her up like that. But it did. One part of her wanted to just run onstage and hug him for being a romantic douchebag. Another part wanted to slap him in the face for being a romantic douchebag. What was he even trying to do? Everything was confusing, she was slapping the air in the dark and he was offering her his hand. And she didn't know if she should take it.

_This is the start of something beautiful_

_You are the start of something new_

When the song finished and the crowd calmed their screams, Darren started talking again, between jokes and explanations. But she didn't have an idea about what he was saying, her mind was still in the last song, in the last lyrics, in the last second where his voice broke and the last chord lost in the air. Apparently she should have been listening, because Joe punched her shoulder after a while.

"Lauren, you don't have to enter now?"

"Uhm, I-" she stuttered, confused. Then she recognized the firsts chords of Going Back to Hogwarts, and stood up immediately. That was her call. She shook her head, now she needed to forget about any recent event, she couldn't let anything affect their performance. They could solve that later.

Lauren waited until Draco's part to enter onstage. The screams were louder than ever and that woke her up. She didn't remember at all about the past song during the whole performance. Granger Danger was awesome too, and they surprised the fans with Even Though and Not Alone. It was amazing, and they were just two friends having a blast and sharing their music with other people. Not even the intimate glances between them on Even Though made the things awkward. They were best friends singing a love song. It was perfect. Luckily they didn't forget the lyrics and the final performance couldn't have been any better.

When they greeted all the people who came to the show, Lauren tried to go back to her dressing room but it was occupied by the staff, so she and Moses stayed at Darren's while he was still in the hallway getting congratulated.

"You know you're probably going to be involved in an interesting talk today, right?" he said to her. Her eyes opened as she put the biggest scared face that was possible.

"I'm not" Lauren replied. She was the worst at that kind of talks. Besides, she wouldn't even know what to say.

Darren walked into the room in that moment to put his guitar on its case. Joe approached him and said to him the show was awesome but he needed to go. He hugged Lauren and then he made his way out of the theatre. She noticed he closed the door when leaving the room, and she cursed inwardly. They were just the two of them now.

"The show was the best, thank you for inviting me. I had a blast" she said, leaning against the table.

"Me too." He agreed, smiling, and then turned to her "Do you want me to drive you to your apartment? I rented a car, I'm staying in New York for a few weeks. I have some things to do in here."

"Oh, Zack is supposed to pick me up now. But I don't know, I'll call him to make sure of it. I'll tell you in a minute" and she took her phone, which ringed a few times more than usual before someone picked up.

Darren frowned when she said that. For some reason the phrase "Zack is supposed to pick me up now" and the natural way that she told him annoyed him. So he crouched to start to order all of his stuff in his bag, trying not to hear their conversation.

"Hey, Zack, the concert just finished." She informed when he picked up the phone.

"Uhm- okay, love. Just give me… just give a minutes." His voice sounded way too shaken.

"Are you ok? You sound bad."

"I'm fine."

"What were you doing? Were you running?" she knew he used to run at those hours, but he sounded too agitated for that.

"No, I was- I'm fine." He repeated, nervous. Lauren started to suspect the worst.

"Don't tell me that's Lauren" a woman's voice sounded in the distance. She knew that voice.

"Who's that?" her tone was serious now. Darren tried to focus on his task but couldn't help to glance at her every second, and even more when she started to raise her voice's volume.

"It's just the TV, love." Zack replied, but his nervous gave him away. A cruel female laugh echoed in the room and that convinced her fears.

"That's Angela!" she yelled, her voice broken. That was one of her co-workers. She introduced them both in one of her first shows but didn't expect something like that. She couldn't possibly imagine how they got to that situation. But definitely now she was laying on his bed, and obviously she interrupted something she wasn't supposed to.

"That's ridiculous, Lauren. I'm alone here." And he whispered trying to cover the phone "Could you shut the fuck up?" but she listened it perfectly. Her heart skipped a beat and she was starting to have troubles to breath. How could he?

"What is she doing there? Oh my god, I can't believe it…"

"No, it's not what you think, love."

"Don't you dare to call me like that one more time!" she tried to hold her voice strong but she was going to cry. Darren stood up and looked at her, worried. "Right in my face, how could you?"

"Listen, I'll pick you up and we'll talk about this. I promise it's not what you think" he didn't want to give up. But it was too late, any excuses would be enough and she lost all respect for him.

"I don't want to see you. Ever again. You disgust me…" she hung up her phone, knowing that she wasn't able to hold her crying anymore. She heard him giving silly excuses, and alike he heard her first sobs.

She throw her phone away on the table, before covering up her face with her hands. The tears started falling so quickly that she didn't have time to whip them. Silly of her, he could have been cheating on her since they started dating and she wouldn't notice it. She felt angry to him and pathetic for herself.

"Lo, are you okay?" Darren didn't know what to do. Of course he realized she wasn't okay. "What happened?" And of course that what happened was pretty obvious…

"He cheated on me…" she cried, looking at him in the eyes, as she couldn't believe it yet.

Darren felt an instant anger after hearing that, he hated whoever made her cry like that and whoever made her voice shook in that way. A chill went through his backbone when she started to sob harder. He tried to keep down his wrath against that unknown guy; in that minute what he needed to worry about it was her.

"He's an idiot. He's the biggest idiot in this universe" he stated. He approached her and stood up in front of her to catch her attention, so she put her hands away from her face and looked at him with her eyes watery and her cheeks covered in tears. "You are so incredible, Lauren. Whoever doesn't realize that, is a fucking asshole, and doesn't worth your tears." He whipped gently the teardrops of her skin with his thumbs.

"I was so stupid…" she added quietly, her sobs were more distant. He held her jaws.

"You are not. Don't ever say that again about yourself… Remember what you said to me before I went onstage? About how I've never disappointed you? That's what I feel for you too. Don't let him ruin your night. You are so much more than that." After hearing that she released a sad smile and that just killed him. "Come here…" he said and hugged her tightly. She was still crying quietly when he put his hands around her and pulled her the closest he could. She just rested her hands on his strong arms and her head on his chest, repeating to herself she needed to calm down. But the good thing about Darren is that she could let it all go and he wouldn't mind. He would stay there, holding her hand. "You deserve someone who really cares about you, and loves you, and is loyal to you. Someone who realizes how beautiful and unique you are…" he couldn't control his words, they just came up all across his mouth and they calmed her, but he thought maybe he was speaking too much.

He kissed her forehead, and both didn't say anything for a while. They just stayed like that until her sobs stopped completely and his anger was totally gone, and there was nothing more than Lauren wrapped in his arms.

Then she realized that was she needed to. Those were the kind of words she wanted to hear, that was the kind of support she wanted to hold her.

She looked up to his eyes. His expression didn't say anything, but he just told her all the things she needed to hear. _That_ was the man that thought about her while singing a love song. That was the one who truly cared about her.

She slowly closed her hands in a fist, stroking his arms with her fingertips. His thumbs rubbed her lower back.

They _both_ saw it coming.

They _both_ were aware of it and they _both_ leaned forward at the same time.

Their lips found each other and they closed their eyes, as if that was the first time, even though they have kissed before for plays and shows. Darren was the more curious one this time. He headed one hand to her head and grabbed it to deepen the kiss. She noted his anxiety; she was excited too but thought she could handle it. She put her hands on his chest and squeezed his shirt, as soon as felt his tongue making way through her mouth. Her heart was increasing its speed at unimaginable levels, his way to explore her was leading her to insanity. She knew Darren was a good kisser because of his previous history, but never thought he'd kiss _her_; and not like that.

He only stopped the kiss when they were totally out of breath, and when he did it they looked at each other smiling because they were desperately trying to catch some air. He directed his hands to her legs and lifted her off. She gasped as she realized what he was doing but put her hands around his neck to make sure she wouldn't fall; and Darren took advantage of that movement and started to kiss her again. He carried her to the table and tried to gently rest her in there, but he passed out and she hit the mirror at the end of the table with her back.

"I'm sorry, are you okay?" he asked worried, and she just laughed in response.

Lauren opened a little her legs so Darren would have place to hold her tighter. His hands were everywhere, she couldn't follow his rhythm, at one second his fingers were marking circles on her legs and at another one they were on her back, squeezing her clothes. She noticed his urgency of wanting more skin to touch, because she felt it too. They regretted being there, at his dressing room because they'd have to leave in any minute; and as if it that was a grip from the reality, a knock sounded from the other side of the door.

Darren barely separated a little from her to ask:

"Who's there?"

"Darren?" a female voice called, not very sure yet if she was knocking the correct door.

They both split up immediately when they recognized that voice. Not having the dignity to look at each other to the eyes, Lauren fixed her clothes and he went right away to open the door.

The thoughts that went through Lauren's mind were too confusing to explain when she saw Mia walking into the room. She had been Darren's on-and-off for years, but the last thing she heard about her was their break up from months ago so she just assumed they weren't together anymore. But she didn't know what she was doing there. They were friends? She went for something more? Did he invite her? All those things probably wouldn't care two hours ago, but now were torturing her.

"Hi, Lauren" Mia greeted her, but remaining a little distance. They have talked a few times but they weren't really close. They didn't dislike each other, but the only reason they met was because of Darren.

"Hi…" she replied quietly. How was Lauren supposed to act now? What was she even with him?

The woman just stayed near Darren to start talking to him in a low voice, Lauren couldn't hear what they were saying. She took his phone and, after ignoring a call from Zack, she went on Twitter to pretend she was doing something but wasn't actually paying attention to it. They were whispering into each other's ears and that was driving her so mad. After a seconds she just said goodbye and kissed him on the cheek (which confused Lauren even more), and waving to her left the room. Darren looked at her, she was still on the table, leaned against the mirror, and her clothes were still rumpled by his own touch. He had to hold himself to not jump to her, he wanted her too bad.

"I'll drive you to your house, let's go" he said. But Lauren was in a different place now.

"I'll take a taxi." She shook her head as saying so, and started to walk from the room.

"Wait, I want to take you home, what's the deal?" he asked confused.

"That I don't want you too" she responded, and Darren just looked at her as she walked away. Lauren was so confusing. At first she was friendly with him, then she liked him and now didn't want to stay in the same car as him.

But for Lauren the warmth of the last minutes abandoned them. The security of his words broke with the appearance of the doubt, and it made room to the same insecurity that she'd have being with Zack or any other city guy who liked baseball, cars, and wet t-shirt's contests. Now there was a huge abyss between them, and she wasn't ready to go through it.

* * *

**A/N: If you leave a review I'll unconditionally love you forever **


	2. Truth or Dare?

**A/N: Just finished the new chapter... angst, angst everywhere. But I hope you guys like it, it's insanely long. And if you pay attention you can catch the other couples of the ff...**

* * *

**Chapter 2: Truth or dare?**

Some of the Starkids who went to New York that day for Darren's show decided to stay in the city for a whole week, that way they could see Lauren in her play the next Saturday and they'd be going back to their towns in Sunday. Lauren made room in her little apartment for Julia and Jaime Lyn, she couldn't be more grateful, at those times there wasn't something that she needed more than support from her best friends. A pair of mattress on the floor next to her bed and a full fridge was all they needed. Dylan and Joe Walker stayed at Joe Moses' house, he was living with her sister and he had a lot of space so no trouble with that. Joey and Darren were sharing the room in a hotel, but apparently Darren was planning to stay for more than a few weeks so he'd see if staying there was the best option. Brian and Meredith couldn't make it. They finally have moved together in Chicago so they were settling all down, and going to New York at those moments would involve a lot of complications, although they promised Lauren they'd go to see her before the season is over. Everyone in the group were extremely happy for them; they've seen how much they cared about each other and were happy that they finally took the risk to get into a serious environment, a house, a future. All of them had the looked up for the couple.

As it was usual when a big part of the gang were in the same city, they met every night to spend some quality time together. Lauren used to love those reunions but in the circumstances she was struggling into, she avoided them at any price. She made silly excuses in Sunday when they had dinner at Tyler's (despite how much she missed him), faking a hardly believable flu. In Monday they decided Joe's house was big enough for all of them, and trying to avoid crowded public places, they stated that place as their own quarter for the rest of the week; and it was perfect because they just needed some drinks and Darren's guitar and they had the night already settled. Lauren made up she had to go to bed early because she had a mysteriously improvised coach session the next morning. She knew Darren would be there and wanted to avoid seeing his face all the time it was possible. The next day it was confirmed, apparently he went back with Mia. She lived in New York so they were probably together all the time and that was banging her head nonstop. She thought she couldn't be strong enough to see them together, not now, not after what happened in the concert.

She didn't say any of the girls the reason of her attitude, and just replied with a laugh whenever they asked her what was wrong. "I'm fine", she repeated. But, inevitable, in Tuesday she entered to the apartment and saw the two girls standing up next to the table looking at her, with the most serious face she ever saw in them, and knowing they had a big talk ahead. She left her bag on the table and looked first and Julia and then to Jaime, scared.

"What's happening?"

"That's what we want to know" Julia started, making room on another chair for her and pointing at it. Lauren sat down, knowing there was no escape now. She'd have to talk.

"I'm fine" she assured.

"You're going with us to Joe's place tonight, then?" Jaime added. They both took place at every side of Lauren, she felt totally cornered. She rolled her eyes "Come on, Lauren, we know you. You have been not only missing in action, but acting weird too. You know you can talk with us."

"I'm not sure…"

"It can't be that bad…" Julia said "Can't be?"

Five seconds of absolute silence followed those words.

"Darren kissed me after his concert."

Not even a fly dared to buzz. Another five seconds of absolute silence, and their eyes widened in shock, before Julia put their feet back on the real earth again. That just wasn't possible.

"Darren what?"

"He kissed me after the concert. On the mouth. Repeatedly." Lauren explained.

"…Wow". That was everything that Jaime's brain could process. She wasn't even slightly surprised of her friends' response, she was exactly expecting that. It took some minutes to Julia to realize her friend finally opened to talk, so she added quickly:

"I want details of this."

"Well, details, details, I don't know" she struggled. "He asked me if I needed someone to drive me home, so I called Zack. You know that part," they both nodded, hearing the story so abstracted as if was a matter of life and death; that made Lauren a little nervous "so I started to cry after that. And he… Well, he told me things. Nice things."

"Nice like what?"

"Uhm, well… he said that I'm worth so much more than him, and that I deserve someone who truly cares about me and loves me and threats me so."

"Oh my god." The expression of the girls changed from the edge of a total shock to adorableness.

"Then he hugged me, like, really close. And I looked at him, and he kissed me. Well, we both kissed. Uhm- I don't know." She was so bad at explaining things.

"How was the kiss?"

"Good."

"Good like how? Long? A frenchie? Did you like it? God, Lauren, please, you're killing us."

"Uhm. Very good. Very long. I don't remember." That wasn't true, and her friends realized it because they gave her a killer gaze. She gave up "Ugh, it was amazing, ok? There was tongue and there was touch. Jeez, his hands drove me crazy. He grabbed my waists, and pushed me closer to him. I had my hands on his arms and… I never realized how strong he is, actually, until he held me like that. It was an intense moment. Happy?"

"And then?"

"And then" she stood up, and looked at Julia and then Jaime "Mia walked in."

"Oh, honey…" Jaime added, and they followed her when she started to go to her room "I'm so sorry. Did he say something after that?"

"I didn't let him. And I'm not planning to go after an explanation. We don't have anything to talk about, really. We left our instincts take control of the situation, but we didn't want it to happen. He doesn't owe me any justification, either. It's okay, but… I just don't want to see his face anymore." She sat in her bed, trying to give a final conclusion so they'd leave her alone.

"But, we're talking about Darren. I'm sure he wouldn't just go for something like that for no reason. Not with you." Julia said. Darren was his closest friend in college so she knew him well. He'd probably do something like that a little drunk in a party back in then, but not now and not with Lauren.

"You don't understand." she started, and her voice broke although she was trying to keep it strong "He made me think he sang that stupid song for me. And he didn't. I'm just the more pathetic and stupid person on earth, and looking at him makes me remember that."

"You are not." Jaime cut her.

"Ok, stop this. Let's not care about stupid songs tonight. You're going to change your clothes, to stop consuming yourself in that way, and we'll go to Joe's. You are in no way letting him ruin your night, your week, your month. We are in New York, the best city in the world. Let's have fun with our friends."

"But-" Lauren cried.

"No buts. You are going to have a fucking blast even if I have to force yourself to it. And you know I will."

She knew.

"Yes, sir." she testified her defeat, dropping herself on the bed, and Julia smiled, rubbing her shoulder. Then whispered to Jaime:

"We're going to need alcohol." Jaime winked. They were sure everything was under their control.

* * *

They were stepping into Joe's house later that night. His house was literally a mansion. He had an enormous living room, and a big glass door in which you could see one of the best landscapes of the whole city, which headed you to a garden. The gang greeted Lauren, surprised for her appearance, and she just laughed in response. She hugged Joey and Dylan, who she hadn't seen in a while. They were making awesome at Los Angeles. Joey was at the moment with some episodes in a Disney's show, and Dylan was working behind the camera of a Sketch Show. Lauren was happy they were finally getting all the credit they deserved. Jaime and Julia went with them on the couches in front of the TV, where Joe was yelling at the TV with a beer on his hand. There was a game on. She smiled. There was people talking some steps further, but she only recognized a few of them who saw a few times in the past month, some actors, musicians, a little of here and there. Then she saw _them_. They were a little apart from the rest of the group; he had a drink in his hand and she was saying something to him, and then he leaned over to listen her better, putting his hand on her waist.

And a stabbing pain went through her chest in slow motion. Darren had always been the flirt guy, and she never cared about that silly stuff, but now every action he did it only made her angrier and angrier. She went immediately to Moses.

"Where are the drinks?" she spitted. He looked at her, surprised. Lauren didn't use to drink.

"I'm sorry, Lo. I didn't know you were coming. Now I only had beers, but my sister is getting home in 10 minutes so I can tell her to bring something else."

"Please" she raised her eyebrows, a little meaner that she wanted. Joe took her phone and started texting her. She sat on the armrest of the coach, next to Julia; and looked at the beer on her hand, blaming being allergic to gluten more than ever.

"I'm going to kill myself" she whispered into Julia's ear.

"Don't look at them" she replied. "Watch the game."

This time her eyebrow was meant to be offensive. She wasn't a fan of sports and she was upset now. She just really really didn't want to be there. A few minutes after, Sarah, Joe's sister got home with a few vodka bottles. She was a girl three years younger than his brother, blonde and very charismatic and enthusiastic. Lauren never talked with her but she was nice.

"So, is Michigan winning, right?" She asked, running in front of the TV. "Fuck" she added as saw the screen.

"They're going to win. They have to." Walker settled "I bought a million of fireworks to shoot right after this finishes"

"You shouldn't have bought so many" Dylan laughed.

"How are we?" Darren asked, approaching them "Oh, no." He leaned over Joey's spot on the couch to see the screen better. He was wearing his "Go Blue" T-shirt for the occasion. She hated the fact that she loved that shirt. He looked at Sarah and went surprised at the bottles of vodka and some other stuff she still had in her hands. "Wow, it wasn't enough yet?"

"It's for Lauren. You know, she can't drink beer. And I might make her company. I don't really like beer that much either." She put the bottles on a little table next to the couch and started to serve some of the liquid on the glasses; then she stood up for some ice. And it was only when she mentioned her that Darren realized that Lauren was there, he thought she wouldn't go that day either and it surprised him. They both wished that they weren't looking for each other's eyes at the same time, so he just muttered:

"Hi."

"Hi." She responded quietly after a few seconds, and tried to not look so awkward but it was in vain. Luckily, the whole gang was focused on the game.

"No!" they screamed at the same time, as the marker counted a point more for the opposite team.

"We are so screwed." Joey said "There are twelve minutes left."

"Shut up!" Walker commanded.

Sarah went back to the audience group with the ice, and prepared some drinks for them. The blonde sat at the head of one of the couches and stared at the screen. Mia walked from the other group of friends chatting (They probably weren't watching the game because they weren't from Michigan), and approached Darren, who intertwined his fingers with hers.

_That was it_, Lauren thought. She leaned over to the little table, and drank the whole glass in a matter of ten seconds.

"Oh my god," Joey commented, when she winced "you are really a box of surprises."

She didn't reply anything. A burnt went through her throat, insanely hot. She took another glass and it was gone in another ten seconds.

"Yes!" the gang screamed cheerful, when the Wolverines made a point more for them. They were still losing, but that gave them a little hope.

She was going for the… fourth, fifth glass? When a hand stopped her.

"Lauren," Julia warned, quietly so no one else could hear it; but the group was only interested in the game for the next five minutes after all "don't go too fast. You never drink. You're going to lose control this way. You can drink, but do it slowly, ok?"

Lauren nodded. She was aware she was a lightweight. She was already feeling dizzy so she relaxed the things a little. _Don't look at their fingers intertwined_, she repeated to herself, and she couldn't help but glance to them, _don't look at their fingers…_

"Look, I don't even care, okay?" Joe was yelling in the garden, ten minutes after, looking for his lighter on his jacket and putting all the fireworks on the floor. "We fucking win."

"Yeah, in your mind, but that's fine too…" Jaime whispered, and Joe glanced at her, completely mad. She grinned, and Joey walking slowly behind Jaime, pushed her gently back by the waist.

"If we want to enjoy it we have to go further back" he explained. The group obeyed and moved a little.

"That way we can see how Joe burns into flames" Julia joked, just in time, because Joe lightened the last flame and he run back with them at the perfect moment.

Their heads went up all at the same second, along with the first pair of fireworks which exploded in red and green above their eyes. And another pair of lights, and another one, and another one… It was beautiful.

Lauren felt the sounds of the explosions a little distant, and the dizziness started to get more serious, but she enjoyed the amazing view. All of them were together in the most beautiful city in the whole world looking at the fireworks mixing with each others just in front of their eyes.

She grinned, and looked at the group, no one realized that she was watching them. She felt so grateful for having them, and for a second she regretted not being there the two past days. Then her eyes fixed on Darren hugging Mia behind her back, with his head rested on her shoulder and a smile on his lips. He just looked so happy.

And she realized it. It was anger, it was sadness, it was resentment, but it was more than any other thing, jealousy.

And suddenly she couldn't focus her gaze on Darren's smile, and everything was upside down. Her stomach was making all kind of noises. _Oh no_, she gasped terrified, walking into the house the faster as her state let her, _I'm going to throw up_. She practically run to the bathroom, luckily all of the others were staring up the sky and didn't notice she was gone. That was what she thought; before closing the door and leaning over the toilet, feeling like her stomach was tying itself.

"I'll be right back" Darren said to Mia when he noticed Lauren was gone.

"Hurry up, the fireworks are about to end" she told him but he wasn't listening to her anymore.

He quickly checked the living room and the kitchen but he found no one, so he walked down the hallway and as he was getting closer to the bathroom listened some coughing sounds, so he understood instantly.

"Lauren, do you need help?" he asked. He knew Lauren was a total lightweight. She didn't know how to drink at all, so he had his reasons to get worried "I'm coming" he added after getting no response, to found the girl throwing up in the WC. He served some water from the faucet in the toothbrush's glass, and bent over next to her. He used a hair rubber as a bracelet, so he took it and tied gently her hair, while she was undoing from the last traces of alcohol.

He pulled the chain and handed her a wet towel when she raised her face again. Against what she'd like, she accepted it and pressed it against her face. She still felt a little sick, but a lot better than before. She drank slowly the glass of water.

"You are such a small fry." He told her with a grin, rubbing her back. It seemed like if nothing happened for him. She might be weak but she wasn't going to deal with that. She got up the faster she could without getting so dizzy. Darren frowned. "What? You don't want me to touch you?"

_His hand on her waist, their fingers intertwined, his head on her shoulder._

She shook her head. Darren looked at her, confused; but then Julia walked worried into the bathroom.

"Oh my god, Lauren, are you okay? I didn't find you outside and-"

"Let's call a taxi." She interrupted her, walking outside, dropping the wet towel on the lavatory.

* * *

"Never. Again." A broken voice shouted when the windows opened suddenly, and the sunlight burned her eyes. She put her pillow over her head, whining. "Never. Again."

"I can guess your head hurts" Jaime messed with her, adjusting the curtains.

"I hate you both" she cried, rolling over the bed.

"Oh, come on, Lo, it wasn't a full trip to New York if you didn't get obscenely and stupidly drunk one night." Julia said in defense.

"You know I'm not coming back today, right?"

"But, Lauren!" the girls claimed at the unison.

"I'm wasted like hell. And I'll get another chance to see my favorite couple fucking in front of my eyes. That's a no." she explained, her voice sounded low because she still had the pillow on her head. Darren and Mia were actually pretty reserved but it still hurt in an unsupportable way.

"Wait, today's the birthday party of one of their friends. They aren't going to be at Joe's tonight."

"Still…"

"Come on, we're leaving on Sunday." Jaime started to defend the position "You have only four days to enjoy with us. And we promise to not let you do something embarrassing again. Please?"

"Hmmmm…okay" Lauren agreed quietly, rolling more and more on the bed. "I hate you both." She repeated, but her anger turned into a laugh as they jumped over her to hug her.

* * *

"I hate you both." She said for the third time in that day, as soon as they walked into Joe's house that night to find the gang (There were only Starkids, because she recognized all of them) sitting in a circle on the floor, talking lowly but the main sound were the chords of Darren's guitar. She found him in a second, although she didn't even need to because his voice already was enough for her to recognize him. Mia next to him. And he was singing Lovefool.

"Hey, Darren, I thought you had a birthday tonight?" Julia asked when he stopped playing, and the girls joined the others.

"Yeah, well, Mia's going right now with her friends. I wanted to spend this week that you all are here, with you guys." He explained, taking a drink.

"You're adorable" Walker teased him. Lauren thought that, in fact, he was obnoxiously adorable.

Then Mia stood up, and said goodbye to the group. Then she leaned to kiss Darren, and left the house quickly.

Lauren took a drink from the center of the circle.

"Chill, Lauren" Jaime warned her.

"Sure" she said, and then Sarah joined the group too.

In correlative order, Lauren had Julia next to her, followed by Moses, Darren, Walker, Joey, Jaime, Sarah, and Dylan on the other side. Darren sung a few more covers before he put his guitar away, only due Sarah called for a pizza so they started eating. They knew another way he wouldn't shut up.

"I'm going for more ice." Lauren said to the guys.

She got up and went to the kitchen. She started to crush some big pieces of ices with a knife and when she got everything that needed in a container, she turned back to go to the living room again.

"Jesus Christ-" she gasped when saw a curly black hair man standing up in the kitchen's door. He didn't laugh at her reaction.

"Lauren, we need to talk" he warned. His tone was so serious, but Lauren shook her head.

"No, we don't. We don't have absolutely anything to talk about." She tried to make her way through the room but he stood up in her way.

"What the fuck is happening?" he asked, really confused. "You avoided me since Saturday. I didn't see you in two days, and now you don't talk to me and every time I look at you, you look away. You don't even let me touch you. What's wrong?"

"Don't act like if nothing happened on the concert, Darren."

He opened his mouth, like if he was about to say something but wasn't sure what.

"It's okay, it was a mistake. We don't have and we don't should talk about it." She just tried to keep walking out of there, but he didn't let her. "The ice's going to melt." Darren took the container from her hands and put it in the counter.

"That's what you think about it? A mistake?" he said, and stepped forward to her.

"Yes. Apparently you too. I don't see the problem."

"I don't think it was a mistake."

"No? You have a girlfriend, you bastard. You should think that." The tone of her voice showed her resentment. Her voice rose. He was surprised, it wasn't usual to see Lauren pissed in that way.

"You have a wrong idea about what happened that day. I went back with Mia after the concert. When she walked to us, we weren't together yet. I never cheated on her. When I kissed you, I was only with you." The way he said the last phrase made her heart skip a beat. The serious tone of _I was only with you_, like if she was everything for him. But she needed to stay in the real world, she needed to remember what he was doing to her.

"Still. You came to New York to seduce her, right? Why are you staying so long, after all? That's why you came back to Irving Plaza after all this time. That's the reason you invited her. And the song. You dedicated it to her, didn't you?" she spitted, and Darren felt so desolated, Lauren never was that mean to him. "Well, you got what you wanted, so you can be happy now."

Darren passed a hand through his curls.

"I'm not."

"Why?" she asked, but this time didn't raise her voice.

He let out a sigh.

"The song was, initially, for her. But then… uhm- Before I started to sing, and when I was singing, I only thought about you. I didn't mean it to happen but I couldn't get you out of my head. I have feelings for you, Lauren. It's killing me that you're acting like this. Literally. I can't stand watching one of the most important persons in my life being like this to me. And you more than anyone. I can't deal with that."

Her heart was every second more pressed into her ribcage.

"What kind of feelings?" she asked.

"Don't you feel it too?" he said quietly, and slowly took her hand and headed it to his chest. "You make me go like this."

Lauren felt the intensity of his heartbeat and the surprisingly synchronization with hers. Her hand was cornered by his chest on one side and Darren's hand in the other one. She bit her lip. How could she stay mad with him if he did things like that?

"What about Mia?" she didn't reply to his last question but let her hand on his chest. "Does she make you go like this?"

"Not like this. But-"

"You have feelings for her too."

He nodded, looking down. She put her hand away, and held the tears that wanted to go down her eyes.

"Then, what do you want me to do, Darren?!" she dropped her fists to the sides of her body, her voice out of control "Do you want me to keep seeing you secretly, and then watch you make out with her and act like everything is okay? I can't do that! You know me since years ago, please! And you think I'm that kind of woman? I just-!" but her preach was interrupted when she was pushed against the kitchen's counter.

She didn't actually have time to react when Darren's lips pressed against hers. She resisted at first but he was persistent. He put one hand on her waist and the other one on her jaw; and before she realized she was kissing him back. His lips had a little taste of alcohol but not too much, and his body was warm as usual. He pushed her so close that she heard his heartbeat again, more accelerated now, and she knew that was his intention. She squeezed his hair and passed her hands all the way down his back. He kissed her more passionate at every second, he couldn't control it, Lauren drove him crazy.

He rubbed her leg with his fingertips, lifting her shorts a little. He couldn't help it, he always wanted more of her; more skin to feel, to touch, to kiss. Suddenly, Lauren put her hands on his chest, and pushed him violently, separating them. They both looked at each for some seconds, Darren confused and Lauren offended. She had tears on her eyes.

She took the ice's container and went back to the living room, while Darren was trying despairingly to catch some breath and order his thoughts.

Thanks to some miracle, the rest didn't hear anything about their fight on the next room.

"Are you okay?" Julia asked Lauren as she sat down on the floor again. She nodded and blinked a few times to make the tears disappear.

Darren went back to them and no one even noticed. They kept talking about pretty much meaningless stuff until the food was over. Then they were tipsy enough to start with the interesting part of the night.

"Who wants to play a game?" Sarah started.

"What kind of game?" Joey asked, he was preparing the next round of shots, so that could be fun.

"Uhm- I don't know. Truth or dare?"

"What are you, twelve?" Joe laughed.

"Then spin the bottle" she suggested.

"I prefer truth or dare, actually." Jaime said, so Sarah took advantage of her vulnerability.

"Cool, that's it. You start, Jaime!" Sarah announced excited. She got up and, prancing, brought a toy ball, and throw it to Jaime. "You have the ball, you are the boss!" One could see the nervous on her face, looking at the ball.

"Well, I pick… Oh, I don't know! Dylan!" she stuttered throwing the ball at him.

"Jeez, Jaime, thank you." He said. "I chose… dare."

"Uhm…" she was having some troubles trying to chose an challenge enough funny and not too embarrassing. "You have to wear lipstick and a bra for the rest of the game."

The Starkids broke on laughs just to hear it from Jaime. Dylan dropped his head back, regretting pretty much everything he made in life since college. Sarah, as the leader of the game, went for the bra and lipstick on her room.

"Ok, how do I look?" Dylan asked, after putting a sinuous and obscene line of red lipstick on his lips and a bra which barely fit him over his t-shirt.

"You are so pretty." Walker joked with his best hilarious voice.

"I choose the owner of this marvelous idea. Sarah."

She hid her face with her hands, laughing shyly. Then she took the ball and bit her lip.

"Truth or dare?" Dylan asked.

"I choose… truth. I've seen that you guys can be very… intense."

"I'm sorry, Joe, I know you invited us at your house and everything, but I have to ask this…" he apologized first, and then asked with a grin "At what age did you lose your virginity?"

"Oh, the game started!" Julia commented, clapping and completely amused.

"Oh my god!" Sarah cried. She looked down for a seconds, the whole group staring at her "I'm not going to tell anything about that. No way. My brother is here. Just no."

"You chose truth, you have to do it!"

"Ugh, okay, okay, but this is everything I'm going to tell about it!" she hid her face with her hands "I was seventeen." The reaction of the group didn't wait, in different sounds of surprise.

"Well, holy shit…" Darren commented.

"I don't like this game" Moses added, frowning.

"Well, hanging out with you guys have been really fun these past days. I've got to know a lot about every single one of you, except one person. So here you go" Sarah threw the ball at Lauren.

"Oh, great." She complained "I choose truth, but… nothing about virginities, okay?"

"Nothing about virginities" she repeated, smiling. "Well, I don't know a lot about your years in college, so… let's get a little intimate, but not too much. No names, I just want a number! How many persons who are now in this room have you ever kissed?"

"Crap…" Lauren whispered, and the others yelled in the instant "No, no, don't get me wrong! I mean, I've kissed your brother for _Otto_, the short film, and…"

"Oh, no, no." Sarah corrected "I only mean real life kisses. I don't care about the others."

She winked at her, but that only made the situation worse. If she said the number she was pretty much giving herself away. She struggled internally, squeezing the toy ball in her hands.

"Oh, she's counting, that's a bad sign…" Walker said, shaking his head in disapproval.

"Shut up!" Lauren said. Then she just gave up "I've kissed two people in this room."

There was still an overreaction in the living room. Julia was the only one who knew about the two of them, the rest didn't know about any of them, and those two guys only knew about themselves.

"That's not interesting, Lauren," Walker commented despite the reaction of their friends "let's talk about your virginity."

Lauren, and annoyed but laughing, threw angrily the ball at him; and raised her eyebrows.

"Truth or dare?"

"Fuck it. I chose dare. Bring it on."

Lauren was happy he chose that. She had the best revenge in her mind.

"You have to put an ice cube in your pants and wait until it melts."

"Burn!" Moses teased him, while Walker let out a scream of regret.

Five minutes later he was still with the ice cube in his hands, hanging around and trying to avoid the inevitable event.

"Come on, Joe, you have the balls for this. I don't know if you'll them have after, but now…" Joey started but was slapped in the chest so he shut up.

"Fucking shit, I hate you all" he stated, and put the ice cube –the biggest, especially selected by them- inside his boxers.

The group laughed like insane at his hilarious reactions. His face went from scary to ridiculous. When he finally announced that the ice completely melted, they all sat down again, between his curses and their laughs.

"I was going to pick Sarah, but I don't want his poor brother to have a heart attack, so…" he winked at Sarah and she laughed shyly again "You'd have to take care." And he threw the ball at Moses.

"Truth. Please" he begged quickly.

"I think I'm not allowed to ask about virginities, but no one said anything about this, so here I go. Who were the first boobies you have ever touched?"

Joe started to laugh before even answering, so obviously the memories were kind of funny for him.

"Jesus… Ok. There was this girl in middle school that was too grown up for her age. Like, her boobs were huge, literally."

"Oh, god." Jaime Lyn hid her face on Joey's shoulder, laughing.

"And it was the last day of classes and I didn't want to go to high school as miserable as I felt. And it was the last day, I don't know! I just went and asked her. If I knew she was so easy I'd asked for more."

"That's the saddest thing I've ever heard" commented Walker.

"Whatever, shut up." Joe finished and took a shot of the drinks in the center of the circle. He used this movement to thrown the ball at Lauren, who barely had time to catch it.

"Again?" she asked.

"Yep. Truth or dare?"

"Dare." She spitted.

"Cool. I have a good one." and Lauren already started to regret it "I'm not going to ask you for those two people you said. But my challenge is, you have to kiss, right now, one of those two persons."

_Shit._

Just… shit. She couldn't kiss Darren. She just simply couldn't. He had a girlfriend and they'd know it was recent, it'd be so obvious. And the other person… well, she simply didn't want to. That happened a long time ago, and the reason she didn't tell anybody was because they both didn't want it to happen and actually never took it seriously.

"I don't think I can." She cried, shaking her head.

"Come on, Lauren!" the gang cheered.

She was so screwed. There was no escape. Darren would mean losing the dignity, the hided secret, and after that they wouldn't be able to act normal around the rest, as friends or as something more, never. So she looked at Joey, who just shrugged, like if the matter was really meaningless to him.

She really didn't want to, but there was no option.

Lauren leaned over to the other side of the circle, and slowly kissed Joey. Long enough so the others wouldn't complain, but softly because she didn't want that to happen. Joey was like her little brother, it didn't feel right.

The reaction of the group was diverse, some of them whistled at them, others yelled and some of them just remained their surprises. The only one who just stared at them with no sign of affection, was the curly black hair man with his guitar behind his back.

"Okay, it was years ago! Get over it!" she yelled, and went back to her place, and thinking a little, she passed the ball to Julia.

"Hey, I'm next to you, aren't you ashamed of doing this?" she said with a grin on her face. "Truth."

"Well, I was thinking about asking this in another occasion, but now that I have the chance… When I was in Chicago I've found some guy clothes all around the house, and I mean before you started dating your boyfriend. Care to explain?"

"Oh my god." Julia put her hands on her face.

"It seems pretty bad, do we know him?" Moses asked.

"Yeah…"

"Oh, we know him!" he declared. "Come one, who is it?"

"First of all I want to tell it's totally over and it just were a few weeks and… I don't know, it's over, okay?"

"But who is it? Why didn't you tell me before?" Lauren started to complain already.

"Well, I kind of had a thing with… Nick… Strauss" she explained, ashamed.

"Nick? Nick Strauss? Our nick Strauss?" Jaime asked totally in shock.

"Yeah. Oh my god, I can't believe I said it." She was totally blushing, so Lauren hugged her like a sign of apologize. "Get off me, I hate you" she joked.

"That's the kind of stuff we wanted to hear. Finally!" Walker looked up to the ceiling and planking his hands together went "Thank Dead God."

When Julia recuperated her natural color, she threw the ball to Darren, who was totally lost since the kiss.

"Truth or dare, Dare?" she teased.

"Truth." He replied with a serious tone.

Lauren got scared, suddenly.

"We all know you are with Mia now, but, if you had the option to be with someone else, anyone who you have in mind, would you do it?"

That was the first serious question of the night. No one was laughing or making a noise. Darren was looking at the empty glasses on the center of the circle, like if he was about to grab one, but he didn't. He seemed to really think about the question seriously; not like if he was in a game, but like if was a subject that he need to decide at that moment. Most of the people in there didn't know who would be that other person, but still was a moment they didn't want to break. After a long moment of silence, he said, his voice more serious than ever:

"I'd do it."

Lauren gasped, without realizing it; and she was sure everyone would hear it if it wasn't because of a blare that sounded suddenly, covering her voice completely.

"Fireworks?" Joey asked.

"They stole my idea! There is even no game!" Joe complained, as they stood up.

"Let's go to the garden!" Sarah hurried them, and they run immediately to outside to see the fireworks in all their magnificence.

"Do I have to go like this?" Dylan said touching his nonexistent boobs over the bra, but still went outside. The fireworks were even prettier than Joe's, everyone were enjoying them. Everyone except two people that stayed sitting down on the floor.

Lauren stood up with some middle empty bottles and carried them to the kitchen, and left them on the counter. This time, she wasn't surprised when she turned back and found Darren on the door. He had the toy ball in his hands. None of them had a sign of emotion on their faces.

Darren threw the ball to her, and she caught it perfectly.

"Truth or dare?" he asked, stepping forward.

She waited a few seconds, they were looking at each other in the eyes, but it wasn't romantically. It was almost defiantly, as if they were trying to read the other's mind.

"Truth." She said quietly, but her voice sounded strong.

He stopped walking only when he was near enough to face her, but didn't touch her, although he'd do it if any of them moved a little.

Darren had already decided his question.

"It hurts so bad" he started, his voice terrifyingly serious, she could practically feel it reaching her neck "for you to see me with Mia, as it hurt me to see you kiss Joey?"

She only did it because of the game, and it wasn't really big deal, and still that stupid kiss annoyed him in an uncontrollable way. He couldn't even imagine how she felt.

Lauren leaned forward, put a hand on his shoulder, and her mouth right next to his hear, to whisper a phrase that sent chills through all his body. She said it in a slowly, seductive, and macabre way:

"As a million of fucking needles on my chest."

And she dropped the ball, which bounced next to his feet for a while, before abandoning the kitchen.

His heart beating faster than ever.

* * *

**A/N: Reviews make me happy :) **


	3. And she fell

**A/N: thank you all for the reviews and the support, here's the next chapter and I know a lot of people are going to hate me for this buuuut I swear it's necessary pain! and 10+ points if someone can spot the FRIENDS quote**

* * *

**Chapter 3: And she fell**

The first thing Lauren thought about the next morning when she woke up, was last night's conversation with Darren. She hated that things had gone until that point, but she wanted him to know she wasn't going to let him to just mess around with her like as he wished. At that moment she just wanted to come back in time and she'd have never kissed him, she'd have never felt that jealousy and everything would be alright, just like it was before.

She went to brush her teeth and when she came back, Julia was drying her hair next to the bed and Jaime was typing on her phone, still in the bed next to hers.

"You two need to talk about something" Julia said, passing a hairbrush through her hair.

"Uhm, no, thanks" Jaime rejected.

"What's happening?" Lauren asked, sitting down on the bed again.

"About that kiss last night" Julia explained.

"What kiss?" she gasped, terrified. How did they know?

"Uh, Joey?"

"Oh, right." She shook her head, feeling a relief. Of course, _that kiss_. "Ern, Jaims, it was years ago. I think he was even still in college. We were a little drunk in a party and we were excited because of, uhm- I don't really remember. A show, I think? We kissed and then we looked at each other and laughed. It was silly, we don't like each other in that way. We never talked about it because we never paid attention to it. That was it. I'm sorry I never told you, it wasn't big deal. Why are you so curious about it? Do you wanted to know if it was recent?" and she opened her mouth in surprise "Do you like Joey?"

"Of course not." Jaime replied.

"Of course yes." Julia contradicted at the same time.

"Why I didn't know about this?"

"She is crazy about him like ages ago. You have to be blind to not realize that."

"Thanks, Juls." Jaime added and went to her phone again.

"Oh my god!" Lauren wasn't still recovered from the idea; she was jumping on the bed like a little child just to hear those words from her friends "That is so cute. Does he know?"

"I didn't tell him, but last night he said if it was okay if someday he asked me to have dinner or something. And I told him I'd love that."

"He's totally on you." Julia said turning off the hairdryer.

"Are you texting him right now?"

"Maybe." she just replied. Lauren tried to watch what she was typing but Jaime put her phone away; she tried to lean a little to her bed to get to look and ended up almost falling on top of her. "Get off, Lopez!"

She left her alone, but added quickly:

"If he asks you out, go for him already, come on. You guys would make the most adorable couple."

"Well, talking about the couple of the year…" Julia murmured.

"What do you mean?" Lauren gave her a killer gaze.

"What happened when you went for more ice and he entered to the kitchen? Maybe the boys are silly enough to not realize that something happened, but we aren't."

"Oh, why are you so suspicious? I hate you." She looked down for a few seconds before starting her story, "I pretty much just yelled at him. He said he has feelings for me but he does for Mia too. And he's not planning to break up with her, so, it really doesn't matter. But…" she couldn't help but to release a sad laugh "like, he's so fucking sassy. He kissed me again."

"You're not going to tell me it was against your will." Jaime said.

"It was! At first…" the girls laughed and Lauren let out a little smile when she remembered it. She wasn't expecting him to do that, but Darren was in fact, one surprise next to another. She felt so weak against his actions.

"You want to be with him, right?" Julia asked her.

That was the first time Lauren actually thought what it'd be like. She imagined he was driving to her apartment in that moment to have breakfast with her, or that they were at Joe's and he hugged her by behind and intertwined his fingers with hers, or that he just kissed her like a way to say goodbye. She shook her head.

"That's not going to happen." she sentenced. "Now, otherwise, I do have rehearsal" announced before starting to change her clothes. She needed to focus is things that were real, things that were happening and things that were productive for her.

* * *

Thursday and Friday were amazing, more than she'd have thought. Darren's girlfriend had a concert on Friday so she only had to stand any kind of public love demonstrations on Thursday. But Friday was last day on Joe's, because on Saturday all of them were going to see Lauren on the production of Les Miserables, the main reason she temporally moved to New York. After that they'd probably be hanging out. So on that last day at Joe's they made a big great dinner, and the girls offered themselves to cook. They went earlier to Moses' house to get all the food on time, but still they waited until the boys walked in to force them to clean all the mess they left in the kitchen, just to be hand to hand. The dinner was really good, and as a surprise, Jaime grabbed a tray from the refrigerator with an amount of muffins really tempting. They gang went for them as if they were in the cornucopia at the beginning of the Hunger Games.

"I hate to say this," Walker stated, being the first one to taste the dessert "but this is really freaking delicious."

"Yeah, we have to give you girls credit this time. The food was perfect" Joey added putting his arm around Jaime's shoulder. She blushed instantly. It was so obvious, Lauren didn't know how she didn't realize earlier.

However, Lauren just went for her part when the group split up a little after they started to eat, just to find the tray empty. She quickly glanced at every hand and she stopped at Darren's, who was carelessly walking to the couch. He didn't eat it yet, so she warned quickly:

"Hey, that's my muffin."

"What?"

"I cooked it for myself. It's gluten free. Someone should have borrowed two, because there is no other left, but that is mine."

"Then come and get it." He just shrugged, and faked he was about to eat the snack.

"Oh, I'm gonna!" she replied.

She started to run after him, and as soon as he realized it, he ran too. She climbed onto his back when he got to the couch, and tangled her arms around him to grab the muffin but he put it further away. Her weight on Darren's back made him plank his body against the couch, along Lauren with him, luckily saving the muffin.

"Give it to me! It's mine!" she yelled on his ear. And she started to tickle him.

"Don't you dare to-" he tried to finish his sentence, but Lauren's violent tickles around all his body made him laugh until the edge of the tears. He attempted a revenge but he couldn't move at all, Lauren's fingers were everywhere and tickles were one of his debilities. "Fine! Okay, you win!" he screamed as high as his laugh allowed him.

Without standing up, and with Lauren still lying on his back, he put the muffin on the couch's armrest, as a sign of redemption. He turned back and saw her face, she was laughing like an insane too, but when he faced her, her smile fade away. He had to put his arms around her, and she had to put her hands on his chest too, otherwise she'd fell off. Her hair was falling to her face and his eyes were a little watery from the previous laughter, she was really close so he could watch every detail of her face. And in that moment Darren just thought _"She's beautiful"_. Incredibly beautiful in a natural, carelessly, adorable way. He moved one hand from her waist, so he had to pull the other one tightly to make sure she wouldn't fall from the couch; and leaded it to her face, specifically to her cheek, and he gently rubbed her old little scar with his thumb. He didn't know why he did it, but she didn't look surprised either. She just kept looking at him.

His thumb went from her cheek to her ear, to put a lock of hair behind it. He did it so slowly that Lauren felt it like a stroke. She closed her eyes, feeling his touch, and then opened them again. And she realized it. She knew that look. He was going to kiss her. In front of everyone.

She freaked out. She made a quick movement to grab the muffin, and stood up the faster she could. She ate the snack within two bites, and then opened the fridge and faked she was looking for something.

Darren just laid there for a few seconds; he was recovering from the rupture of the last environment. Then he sat down, with a blank expression on his face, and Joe Moses took a spot next to him, snorting a laugh, as if the situation was completely hilarious.

"What?" Darren asked.

"What are you doing?" he asked, still laughing. Darren frowned.

"I don't know what you are talking about."

He lowered his voice, although nobody was hearing them, the group was already distracted with another chat. "You love her."

"Who? Lauren?"

"No, Dee, the sarcastic sister from 'What's Happening'." He replied ironically.

"You are crazy. Me and Lauren are just friends. She just got out from a relationship and I'm with Mia. It's never going to happen." He retorted seriously, but he couldn't look away from her. She had a bottle of water in her hands and she laughed uncontrollably at a joke that someone just said.

"Men, if you want her, just stop being fucking confusing. You are going to freak her out. I'm telling you this because I care about you both, and this way you are going to end up hating each other. Bring her flowers tomorrow after the play, and get to talk to her. You're making things more complicated."

"Nobody brought her flowers yet?" he asked.

"I think not."

"Do you think she would like that?" he smiled slightly at the thought.

"What about _It's never going to happen_?" Joe messed with him, but Darren wasn't listening anymore. His mind was already far away.

* * *

That Saturday Night was Lauren's special favorite show. Not only everything went perfect with the play, she did all her lines and songs without a mistake; but also she knew some of those seats would be taken by her friends who were there to support her. They were doing a version of Les Misérables and she was playing Éponine, she was happy to get that role and the criticism was pretty good when talking about her. It was the first time she had read her name on the papers along with a lot of positive reviews. Maybe that could be her big break.

"You wined the heart of the audience, Lauren, I'm proud of you!" Julia said before hugging her. She thanked her, smiling. The gang had walked in her dressing room backstage, and bombed her with greets and compliments. One by one they hugged her and congratulated her.

"The theatre is really huge. It was so weird seeing you there. But you killed it." Even Walker let out some kind words. She just laughed and said an honest "_thank you"._

"We're going to a club a few blocks from here, want to come? We know the owner so it's going to be a cool night. We can eat there and there are going to play some music after" Dylan invited her.

"Sure, just give me a minute to change my clothes." She answered.

They left Lauren alone in the room. She looked at herself in the mirror, and started to take off the excessive make up on her face. A few seconds after she started, a knock sounded on the door.

"Who is it?" she asked.

But the person on the other side of the door didn't answer, and just entered slowly. Lauren recognized him from his reflection on the mirror, and turned back, with the widest smile on her lips, and still half of her make up on. It was Darren, and he had a big precious bouquet of flowers in his hands. Of course she realized he wasn't with the rest of the group, but she thought he just had something else to do.

"You were amazing. The best of all the cast. I'm so proud of you." He handed her gently the flowers, and she grabbed it with tears on her eyes.

"They're beautiful, thank you. I thought you didn't come…" She said putting them on the table, she knew it was usual to bring flowers to the stars but she never was that one. She wasn't expecting it but couldn't be more flattered, the gesture was so delicate. She turned back to hug him tightly.

"I couldn't miss it. You are meant to make it big, Lo. I knew you could play the character, but with those high notes you just surprised me."

"Thank you." She just said, and then she let him go. "I'm sorry, I'm a mess, I was taking my makeup off."

He shook his head, smiling with that big dumb smile that only he could put.

"You look stunning."

She grinned and continued taking off her makeup.

"Are you going to hang out with us now?"

"Yeah." He answered, leaning against the table where she was putting down her stuff. Lauren first went to put the flowers in water, and then walked some steps to where her clothes were, and she took off her dress, staying only on her bra and booty shorts. He blinked a few times to make sure that wasn't result of his imagination, but it was freaking real. She was just changing her clothes like if he didn't were there or he was just her gay friend. "So… Uhm-The guy who played Jean Valjean, I think I know him, what's ehrn- what's his name?" he tried to keep a conversation going so he wouldn't have to stare at her and trying to not look so awkward, although he failed big time. Lauren was turned back but he could see her perfectly. He always thought a perfect body wasn't possible, but Lauren had achieved the best attempt to one. He knew the right thing to do would be to leave the room, but he couldn't stop staring. Her skin had the perfect color, and the way her hipbones and tummy were showing up her shorts, they left the exactly point between skin and imagination to drive him insane. She always had an attractive body, but it was just getting better and better with the years. Something inside his belly had just turned on, burning him from the inside.

"His name is Jeff. Jeff Brody, I think." She answered turning back to him, before putting her t-shirt on, like if the situation wasn't really big deal. Darren was out of breath. He wished he wouldn't have looked to her breasts but he did and there was no way back.

"Uhm, yeah, I've seen him a few times." He stuttered. He let out a small sigh when Lauren put her skirt on. He was about to lose his mind; his hands were still sweating.

"He's a little cocky, but he's a nice guy letting that out." She put her shoes on and looked at him, smiling. "I'm ready."

"Hm- cool." He muttered, trying to get out of his mind those images from the last minute. Maybe Lauren wasn't as innocent as he thought she'd be, or she was in fact and he was just her pervert friend.

He offered his arm to her, to go down the stairs of the theatre and join the gang.

The club wasn't too far away from the theatre, so they just walked to it. They waited a few minutes until the owner came out and greeted the boys; then he made them way up a stairs and they had a gourmand dinner at a balcony. When they finished, they headed downstairs and took place in a seats near the bar. In a matter of seconds Joe went through all the people –as the night was passing, the club was every time more crowded-, and got drinks for everyone. Lauren chose a screwdriver, but she was aware Julia had her eye on her.

"Just because I'm thirsty" she excused herself, but Julia rolled her eyes.

After a few minutes they saw Mia walking to them, but she just greeted them and then got lost in the crowd, apparently she was with some friends of her, although it didn't take too long for Darren to follow her. Then Dylan recognized an old friend, so he went with him and the Joe_'s_ and Julia followed them. Joey and Jaime were up in some deep private talk in a corner, and she didn't want to interrupt them, so she stayed with Sarah near the bar until she asked her to go with her to the bathroom. She waited outside the door, but when the blonde entered to the toilet she started to talk.

"Do you know if Joe's currently hooking up with someone?"

"You mean your brother?" Lauren asked.

"No, silly!" her laugh echoed on the little room. "I mean Joe Walker."

"I have no idea. He's the kind of guy who's always alone but never lonely, if you know what I mean. The guys have all the info, I really don't know." She just shrugged.

"Oh, sure. Thanks." She replied, as she went out of the bathroom and washed her hands on the lavatory.

"Why do you ask? Do you have a crush on him?" Lauren asked curious, approaching her.

"Well, yes, but –hm, I'm like way younger than him. I don't think he's going to pay me attention."

"That's not an inconvenient for Joe." She assured her "Just let him he slightly know you are interested, so he's going to flirt with you, but not too much or he's going to use you."

"Do you think I should do it?"

"Yeah, why not?" she was freaking tired of seeing how all the other couples got together, so why should be bothered now? "But if your brother finds out you both are dead."

"I know!" she giggled. Lauren saw a special bright on her eyes as the conversation went on, Sarah wasn't too far from the typical teenager who had a crush on her brother's best friend.

They joined Dylan, the Joe_'s _and Julia, they were still talking with their friend. Lauren took some champagne from the cup in Dylan's hand.

"Lauren, this is Brad, he's an old friend, but I just found out he's living in Los Angeles too. Brad, this is Lauren" Dylan introduced them. Lauren tried to shake his hand, but instead he gently grabbed it and kissed it. She raised her eyebrow.

"I saw you on Les Misérables play. You were outstanding." He said in a calmed voice.

"Well, thank you. I'm glad you liked it" She replied shyly. He seemed a nice guy, and he had something on his intellectual look that turned to be very attractive.

The conversation moved onto another subject really quickly, and she wasn't very interested so she started to look all around the club. Joey and Jaime were still in their important private talk, but they were way closer than some minutes ago. She snorted, if she was Jaime she'd just go for it instead of being so rambling; but she was struggling in another place and things did were complicated for her. Then she found Mia and her friends dancing in the middle of the crowd, but Darren wasn't anymore with them. She glanced to the bar and saw he was sitting down drinking, alone. She walked to him, getting pushed by a lot of people in the way, and took a seat next to him.

"Hey, what are you doing here alone?"

He shrugged, finishing his drink. He called to the barman with a wave of his hand. "What do you want to drink?" he asked.

"Nothing, really, I drank enough and-"

"No, really, let me buy you something." He interrupted her. He looked pretty serious.

"A screwdriver, then. I like those." She said. He asked the barman for the two drinks, but she drank really slowly because she didn't want another disaster to happen. "You look sad," she added, looking at him. "What happened?"

"Actually, nothing. Maybe that's the problem." He just replied.

Lauren didn't understand, but thought maybe he was already a little drunk, so she didn't pay too much attention to his words.

"You don't like it here so much, do you?" she questioned kindly.

"You mean New York?"

"I mean New York, and I mean here."

"You know I love New York. But yeah, I guess it's different now. I'm not a fan of pubs, they remind me of college. Of course I loved college, but I'm trying to move on from that. And, I don't know. It's not New York. It's New York, now, here and how. Do you understand what I'm saying?"

"Not too much…" she answered, confused but entertained. "Why aren't you with Mia?" she spitted. That question was on her mind since he saw him drinking in a lonely corner of the bar.

"I didn't know she was going to be here. I mean, now it seems obvious, her friends always come here. It's not like if I have a problem with that. But, I'd rather be anywhere else right now."

Lauren didn't know why, but she gently took his hand.

"Well, but you are here now. Enjoy it."

She dragged him until the dance floor, and she started to dance with him. He seemed a little forced at first, but it was Darren so it only took a few minutes for him to start to goof around. Lauren laughed at his hilarious attempts of creating new dance moves. She knew he'd eventually come back to be the same dork he was. He casually carried her by the waist to lead her in his unusual steps, and she just let him. They were having a good time. Since college years it was well known that when they two got together in the middle of a song; it could only lead to a catastrophe –a hilarious one, though.

After four or five songs the DJ decided the night was enough into the environment to put some slow romantic music. The people immediately booed the musician's choice, but some couples were waiting for it so they had to accept it.

Lauren looked into Darren's eyes. Maybe it was time for her to go and sit down already. Instead, Darren clasped his arms around her waist, and with a quick movement, pulled her really close to him. She gasped, but having no option, she headed her hands around his neck. She started to move along with him; and noticed he was, in fact, a little drunk, but nothing to worry about yet. He was swinging really slowly, so she just rested her head on his chest, feeling instantly comfortable with his arms around her. She felt so safe, she could even fall asleep in that moment. Darren's body was always warm and his protection made her feel better.

She intertwined the fingers of one hand with his, and raised them to their eyes' height, just to look at them. He did it too. Her tiny hand fit inside of his like if it was created only with that purpose. He pulled her even closer.

"If your girlfriend sees us, she's going to kill me." She said quietly, releasing a little grin.

"She's having fun without me." He replied, rubbing her hand with his fingers.

"Still-"

"We're not doing anything." He interrupted her. He wanted her to be quiet, that moment was too perfect and didn't want anything to ruin it. But he sighed, knowing that would do it himself. "This night wasn't supposed to go like this. I'm so sorry, Lo."

"And how it was supposed to go?" she asked, intrigued but smiling, raising her head from his chest to look at him.

He breathed a few times, thinking about the correct answer, although even himself didn't know it.

"Hey, Lauren!" It was Brad's voice, making his way through the dance floor. "Uhm- I'm sorry." He added as saw he was interrupting something. "Dylan sent me. There's a guy at the bar who's looking for you. I don't know who it is, but apparently he knows you."

Lauren frowned and looked at Darren. She didn't know who it could be. Without letting go his hand, they went to the bar. Only Julia, JoMo, and Dylan where still there. Then she saw, confused, how a corpulent familiar guy was stood up with a bunch of guys, but his gaze was in the dance floor, probably looking for her.

"Zack?" she asked to herself.

"Who is it?" Darren had his guard up "What is he doing here?"

"Uhm, is that one." She pointed at him; she almost forgot Darren didn't know him. "I'll go to check what he wants, wait here."

"What could he possibly want from you? Don't go there." He replied, seriously offended, and squeezing her hand. He was being overprotective, but Lauren thought that was cute.

"I'll just talk to him, it's okay. I'll be here in a minute, and then you can tell me how you wanted this night to go." She assured him smiling, as if it wasn't a serious matter. He nodded, even though he wasn't happy with the idea, letting go her hand; and took a seat next to Dylan, stealing his drink.

She walked to Zack, who as soon as he saw her, split up from the rest of his group.

"Hey, Lauren, how are you?" he started like if they were just old friends.

"Hm, fine. What are you doing here?"

"The guys wanted to come here, and I saw your friends so I asked them if you were here. At first I thought they didn't want to tell me or something, but they sent someone to look for you, right?"

"That wasn't what I meant. I meant what do you want." She snapped.

"There's a lot of noise in here. Can we go outside? I want to talk with you."

She wasn't sure if she wanted that. "I don't know, Zack…"

"Just a second. You can ignore me all that you want after that. Please." He begged, and he looked honest.

"Just a second." She agreed, glancing at Darren, who was verifying if everything was under control with a frowned face.

She followed Zack through the front door, and they walked a little away from the bunches of drunks teenagers. Then Zack passed a hand through his hair and looked at her, she knew words weren't his fort so he was probably trying to set up everything in his mind before talking.

"I've been the biggest idiot in the world. You are the most amazing girl that I know and I fucked it all up. I'm so sorry."

"You are the biggest idiot." She had to give him some points for realizing that.

"I know. But I was thinking that maybe you could forgive me. I felt like shit these days without you. I've realized how good I feel when you are around. I made a huge mistake but I really want us to work. If you want too." He grabbed her hands. Lauren left him but didn't feel really connected with what he was saying. It was the worst occasion to have him right there, sharing his feelings. She was just thinking about Darren.

"You made a mistake, indeed. Yeah, we all make mistakes but I can't just forget it and go back like we were before. Our relationship never was strong enough to go through something like that. You cheated on me. So, I can't just forgive you, and I know that you are honestly regretting it now, but I can't, I'm sorry. It's over, Zack, we are over." She gently said to him.

He looked honestly disappointed, but after seconds he nodded slowly. A sad bright on his eyes.

"I'm so sorry, Lauren." He repeated. She put her hands away.

"Me too." She added quietly, and entered back through the front door of the club, seeing how Zack just leaned against a wall and lit a cigar.

She walked to the bar and saw a concerned Julia looking at her.

"What did he want?" she asked her.

"Oh, he said he was sorry, all that stuff. But I can't trust him anymore." Lauren explained.

"You don't want to go back with him, however, right?"

"No, I don't." she confessed, a little nervous. "Where's Darren?"

"Uhm, honey, he's…" Julia started, and her tone of voice already scared her. But it only took her two seconds to find him. He was right in front of her, a few steps further, with a drink in one hand and Mia in the other, and she was leaned against him. They were making out like if they were literally sucking each other, it was disgusting.

Lauren felt the same stabbing pain in her chest, along with a rage and resentment. Why did he tell her all those things if he was going to suck another girl in front of her eyes?

And she fell for him. Over and over.

"Where are you going?" Julia asked her, as she saw Lauren heading to the front door of the club again.

"I need to catch some air. No. Alone." she added when saw Julia standing up too. She didn't want to be so rude, but she'd have time for explanations later. At that moment she just wanted to release from that pain from her chest.

She felt a cold wave as soon as she stepped outside. It was probably more than four in the morning. Her hands were shaking. She felt so miserable, but didn't want to cry now, not outside, not in front of all the people. She wanted to lock herself in her room and not letting anyone enter; and just then let go al the sobs she was holding.

She breathed deeply, closing her eyes. One, two, three times. She was okay. She needed to be okay.

Then she spotted a guy who was about to enter to his car, and she yelled at the top of her lungs:

"Hey, Zack!" he stopped moving when she called him, so Lauren walked to him "Are you going to your house?" he nodded instantly. She glanced one last time at the club, blaming it for all her unfortunate events. Then she looked at Zack, and added with the strongest voice she could speak "Cool. Let's go."

* * *

**A/N: Reviews make me insanely happy -3**


	4. This Jealousy

**A/N: weeell here I have the next chapter and I think it has all the grammar errors possibles and a lot of Starkid references that weren't supposed to be there but it's 8am and I haven't sleep yet so yeah.. non pun intended. I NEED TO SLEEP  
**

**And the title of the chapter it is for Darren's song :) **

* * *

**Chapter 4: This Jealousy**

A rambling sounded inside Lauren's head when she landed from the dream's cloud. She frowned and remained her eyes closed fiercely, showing her disgust for waking her up. She shifted on the sheets, but suddenly felt another skin against hers.

"Fuck" she muttered, sitting down on the bed.

Zack was still asleep, that rambling didn't have any effect on him. Then she realized that extremely annoying sound was coming from her phone, and she reached it with her hand. It was a call from Julia.

"Hey." She answered.

"Where the fuck are you?" from her tone of voice she could tell her friend was really mad.

"Hm, I'm- I'm at-" she couldn't tell her without feeling the a horrible shame down all her body.

"Are you at Zack's?"

"Yeah…"

"You could have texted me, at least, I freaked out all night. Whatever, our plane arrives in 40 minutes and I don't have the key of your apartment."

"Uhm, don't worry, I-" she shook Zack's arm to wake him up "Zack can drive us to the airport, so you can get there on time. I'll be there in five minutes."

"Hurry up." Julia ordered before hanging up.

"What's the matter?" Zack started, and she got up and started to get dressed immediately.

"We need to go to my apartment. Can we drive Julia and Jaime to the airport? Please, they have to go back to Chicago and their plane arrives like just now."

He nodded, and they got on the car and went to Lauren's place as fast as they could. Zack spent most of his time on the car, so he could manage to drive more miles in less time. There were some pretty long stairs to go up before you could enter to the apartment. Julia and Jaime were both with their entire luggage in order to arrive, waiting for them. Lauren went to make a quickly change of clothes and shoes from last night's ones, saying she was sorry one and another time. Zack just stayed at the car.

"How did you enter here, though?" Lauren asked them, going downstairs at full speed and helping them with their baggage.

"The gatekeeper had a copy of your key and let us in, but he had to borrow it early this morning." Jaime explained. "But you need to give us an explanation too, I think."

"I hope you have a good one." Julia added.

"I don't, I just…" she interrupted herself because they were stepping on Zack's car. He greeted the girls and helped them to put the luggage in the trunk, and they leaded to the airport. Jaime and Julia sat down on the back seats and Lauren on the passenger seat. Luckily the traffic was on their favor, so they would be there in a matter of ten minutes. But Zack put the radio in a hideous station of some kind of mix between rap and punk music.

"Could you change that?" she asked, trying to not sound rude, but he just shrugged. She put a Britannic radio station, she recognized it when Coldplay came up. Then she turned back to the back seat. "So… I've missed anything last night?"

"I don't know. I've seen Walker very very close to Sarah when we went out of the pub. I don't know if something happened, but he was hugging her all the time." Julia informed, while Jaime was pretty busy typing on her phone.

"Probably." Lauren assured with a smile "She asked me some advice. What a fast girl, I didn't realize before."

"Well, that's going to be a scandal if JoMo finds out."

"It's a story that's going to end up with a double murder, we know. But what about you?" Lauren pinched Jaime's lap to catch her attention.

"What?" she just replied.

"And Joey?" she saw how she glanced at Zack, a little ashamed. "Oh, don't worry, he's not paying attention, you can be sure of that." Lauren rested importance to him and encouraged her to open her mouth.

"Well, after a little of talking he said he wasn't very comfortable in there, and I agreed completely, so he told me if I wanted to go to a store for something to eat or whatever, just to get out of there a while." She was telling her story a little quietly, but excited and trying to hide a smile from her face, failing enormously. "We walked a few blocks and bought some snacks; then we sat down on a bank in the street, near the pub. He told me he loved Los Angeles but he misses us too much, and he was thinking about just moving to Chicago. I tried to convince him he shouldn't, and less at this point of his career. We talked a lot, and he ended up telling me he has feelings for me, and that's one of the reasons he wanted to move."

"I can't believe it! And what did you say to him?" Lauren asked, trying to hold her excitement.

"I shut him up with a kiss." Jaime responded, blushing instantly.

Lauren let out a laugh, proud of her friend. Yesterday's speech apparently worked perfectly.

"I wouldn't have expected that, well done! But seriously, did you get to set something up?"

"We are living far away, but now he's going to Chicago for a few days, and the rehearsals for our next production start in like two weeks, right? And he's going to get back in then. So yeah, we're giving it a try."

"That's amazing, Jaime." Lauren smiled to her. She turned back to see how they were getting closer to their destiny. A new song started to play in the radio and Lauren rested her head on the seat, hearing the first lyrics.

"You have to be kidding me." She whispered, it was the song that Darren played at his concert. That song was chasing her since that day.

Zack parked the car on the airport, and they practically had to run to get on the building. They were on time, but carrying the luggage was making their journey a little slower. As soon as they stepped into the place, Julia looked at Zack and made up an excuse at the instant.

"Hey, Zack, could you please buy me some candies? I really need to eat candies on the plane or I'm probably going to pass out, but I have to find my departure lounge right now." The boy looked confused. "Please." She added, and he replied a simple _okay_ as he went in other direction looking for a store in the building. They headed straight where they needed to go, "Now that we are out of risk…"

"I knew it." Lauren spited. "Do you really need to know what happened?"

"I need to. What were you thinking? I thought you didn't want to be with Zack anymore, that you didn't trust him. And what about Darren?"

Lauren snorted. "Darren has a girlfriend. I'm not going to wait for him until he realizes he wants to play his stupid game again. Zack, otherwise, cares about me."

"He cheated on you." Julia remembered her.

"Yeah, well, but he's sorry. Look, I don't know. It's a complicated situation. I don't know if I want to be with him, but last night I felt- alone. I want it to work because maybe that can work. If we try I believe it can. And Darren, on the other hand, can't."

"Okay, listen, we are going right now, I'm not going to be able to make sure that you don't screw up your life, so it's better that you start thinking a little bit more what you're going to do. I love you, but I really don't know what you are doing. With Darren, with Zack, or with anyone else. I'm saying it because I'm worried about you, and because I don't know if I'm going to be here to buy ice cream if you need it."

Lauren smiled, touched by her words.

"I'm going to be fine. If I'm not, I can buy some ice cream and call you at 3am to your phone. Deal?"

Julia tried not to laugh, but she couldn't hold it. There was no resolution with that girl.

"Deal." She settled.

Finding the correct departure lounge wasn't hard, because after a few minutes they spotted some familiar faces. Joe and Joey were taking the same plane as the girls –Dylan had already went to LA an hour before-, and Darren was with them. He probably drove the guys to the airport.

"Hey, just in time." Joey greeted when they joined them. "We have to go right now."

"I don't think I'm ready for a flight." Joe said, resting his back on a pillar. Probably last night's effects were just getting into his body.

"And Yoko Ono?" Lauren asked to Darren, raising an eyebrow. But he didn't take it seriously, and just laughed.

"She's with some hangover."

"What a surprise." She replied sarcastically, before the woman on the speaker gave a last call for their flight.

Lauren hugged Joe, Jaime, Julia –who whispered a serious "take care" on her ear, and then Joey.

"Good luck tomorrow, man" Joey said to Darren, and he smiled back before saying goodbye.

"What happens tomorrow?" Lauren asked, as the group entered to the departure lounge and disappeared from their view.

"Well, you know I've been staying here for a few reasons. I have some Glee episodes to shoot in here from Tuesday on; but tomorrow I'm going to a Studio Record to talk with their people. If everything goes as I want to, I'm going to record my album with them and maybe something more." He explained, smiling slightly, but she realized he was excited.

"Oh my God, that's great, Darren!" she squeezed his arm, not understanding how he could stay so calm. "I know you've wanted this for a long time."

"It's not settled out yet…"

"They are going to love you, of course. It's practically settled out. Oh my god, I'm so excited for you!" she couldn't help but smiling widely, even forgetting she was upset about last night. She wanted to hug him, but saw how a confused Zack was walking to them, so she didn't do anything.

"What- did Julia go already?" Zack approached them. He had his fist full of candies, and you could see on his face he looked for them for a pretty long time.

"It's okay, I'll eat them." She said, grabbing one. "Oh, I'm sorry. Zack, this is Darren. Darren, this is Zack"

"Hey." Was the only word that came out from Darren's mouth. He didn't understand what he was doing there, if they were broken up, but he knew he definitely didn't want his presence.

"So you're the famous Darren." Zack smiled, and offered his hand, and he had no other option than shaking it. "Lauren told me marvelous things about you. He's the one who's on TV, right?" he asked to Lauren, and she nodded. Darren was upset that she had referred to him just as _the one who_. "Honey, don't you want to go already?" he put his hand around her waist and got his lips close to her ear. "Maybe we can repeat last night's mischief."

Lauren just laughed, despite she thought that was completely inappropriate.

"Yeah, sure." She replied, waving Darren with one hand before leaving the airport. All that she could tell it was that he looked mad.

* * *

She spent the days that followed struggling between rehearsals, couching sessions, and Zack. It wasn't the same thing that was before, but she could tell he was trying to take care of her, to be better. He was always texting her, going to pick her up, asking if she needed something; it was a little suffocating. He didn't understand how she wanted things to be made, and he always ended up being just annoying. But on Thursday night she got a text from Brian telling her that he and Meredith were leading to New York the next day. That made her happy; she was feeling a little out of place in there. On Friday Brian told her they were staying in a hotel and they wanted to see the city a little by themselves, and asked her if she had no problem to meet at night. She told them to go to her apartment and to bring a movie to watch. She wasn't in the mood to go outside that day. She greeted them both with a hug when they showed up on her door, it was a while since she saw them for the last time.

"How are my little lovebirds?" she messed with them, letting them in on the apartment. "Did you already have the first fight on the house?"

"We had at least ten." Meredith sighed. "Brian wanted to buy a pool table."

"Hey, it's my dream since I was eight" he replied, and Meredith gave him a gaze that warned him.

Lauren laughed, they were just mean to be. She invited them to take a seat on her table.

"So, how long are you guys staying?"

"Until Monday at morning. I know it's not too much, but we have something planned. We aren't going back to Chicago just now, we are routing to a little adventure on the other side of America." Meredith explained, excited. "Just a week, because rehearsals start then, but it's going to be amazing. We want to go to so many places."

"And Meredith has never been in Las Vegas, so I thought that as an expert I should show her." Brian added.

"That is awesome! Good luck with that, take a lot of pictures!" Lauren said, and then asked "Do you want me to do some popcorn for the movie?"

"Please, I'm starving." Brian begged. She went to the counter and started to prepare the snacks. "And you? Are you planning to stay here?"

"Brian!" Meredith shut him.

"What? If she's thinking about it we're going to have that talk sooner or later."

Lauren wasn't surprised by that question. It's been a month, and she was doing pretty well in there. But she knew the answer to that question.

"No. The season finishes in two weeks and I'm going back to Chicago then. We have just three weeks from now on until the show, right?"

"Yeah. The script is finished, and we already started with some scenery. It's going to be pretty cool. Did Nick tell you what is about?"

"I just know it's related with Marvel, and DC and superheroes. That's all."

"Well, I'll tell him to send you the script as soon as possible. It's called Holy Musical Batman, and it's going to kick ass."

"Cool." Lauren just replied, he was really into that stuff in that moment and you could see his passion in the way he talked. "What movie did you choose, though?"

"Because we know you live in your own little bottle and you haven't seen it yet." He looked into Meredith's bag which was on the table, and put out a DVD of The Hobbit.

"I haven't!" she confirmed. "Oh, this is going to remind me some old times."

"Isn't Darren in New York too?" Meredith asked. "Why don't you tell him to come over?"

"I don't think so." She tried to keep herself busy with the popcorn.

"Come on, what's the problem?" she continued.

"Okay, invite him," she gave up, the popcorn started to jump in the pot making some noise. "but his little girlfriend's not going to put a feet in this place."

"You don't like Mia?" Meredith was every second more curious. She stood up and went next to Lauren, who kept trying to touch the subject as if she didn't care about it. "But she is really nice."

"I don't care!" Lauren told her, furious.

"Then, you fancy Darren? It's either one of them." More curious.

"I don't, Mere. Come on, you know me."

Brian let out a little giggle, more lauder than he expected it to be.

"You know!" Meredith accused him, punching him on the arm. "Why didn't you tell me already?"

"I don't know any-" The poor guy saw the two woman staring him with a furious look on her faces, so he sighed. "Joey told me."

"Joey knows?" Meredith couldn't believe what was happening, offended. Lauren, by her way, just wanted to disappear in that moment. Of course Darren would tell everything to Joey, and of course Joey would tell everything to Brian. "Most important, is somebody going to tell _me_?"

"I'm just going to text him to come over…" Brian tried to wash his hands on the matter, grabbing his phone.

"We just kissed a few times, it's not that big of deal. He went back with his girlfriend. That is all. It's over, okay?" She hated that so many people knew about it, how was she supposed to take decisions if everyone were expecting her to do something?

"So you fancy him." Meredith stated.

"Oh my God." She just exclaimed, turning the oven off and putting the popcorn in a container.

"Well, it's a weird thing the destiny, right? Who would tell that four years ago?" the girl said, going back to her seat.

"What do you mean?" Lauren asked, putting the tray of popcorns on the table.

"I couldn't tell you." Meredith shook her head.

"Tell me what?"

"Well, Brian should tell you, he's the traitor in here after all."

"What?" a confused Brian looked at them. "Wait, no. We are not supposed to talk about-" he saw how Lauren was walking near a rage onto him and, added quickly, scared "Okay, okay! Calm down you two." He took some seconds to talk, in which Lauren thought she was about to go insane. They weren't on the position to hide her things, "Darren used to have a crush on you."

"What? What do you mean?" she asked, and took a seat next to him. She definitely needed to sit down after hearing that.

"You want me to explain what that means? Well, usually guys have a thing between their legs called…"

"Brian!" Meredith shut him one more time, but laughing loudly.

"What- when- what times are we even talking about?" Lauren stuttered.

"Uhm, I don't know…"

"It was when you were doing the first Potter Musical, right? Those months. Yeah, 2009." Meredith explained. "I can't believe you never realized, Lauren, it was so obvious."

"It wasn't. You can't be serious. Darren was an irredeemably flirty, he was always with some girl." She was totally in denial. That was impossible.

"But he never got into a serious relationship until Mia. He passed months literally after you. Always looking at you or talking about you. It was so adorable."

"And pathetic." Brian added.

"And pathetic too. Yeah. He never had the guts to tell you."

"Are we talking about the same Darren?" she asked, confused. That couldn't possibly be the same person. Darren had no shame, and less than anything with something love-related.

"You wouldn't believe it." Brian replied "He always was like, _Yeah dude, I'm going to play this song for her, and she's gonna love it_, or, _I'm going to just surprise her one day and kiss her and see how she reacts_." He imitated perfectly his voice.

"I can't believe it."

"Yeah, and that time that he…" Meredith caught some air before saying it, like if she was remembering a sad heartbreaking story "I remember because I went to help a little with the scenery that day, when you were on rehearsal and he told us. He made you a mix tape of songs, and he was supposed to give it to you. And I don't remember what happened but-"

"It was my fault, sorry." Brian interrupted her "I was messing with him and I didn't realize Lauren was there. And you heard a part of the conversation and said something like you only wanted Darren as a friend."

Lauren gasped, she remembered that day. She was having a horrible stomach ache and was in the worst mood possible, and Brian made a joke about Darren and her being together. She replied as if the idea offended her, that nothing would ever happen between them. She didn't think he would get hurt because he never showed any special interest on her. But she was, in fact, really rude.

"Well, the thing is that after that he never tried something or talked about you again, except for saying that his feelings for you eventually disappeared."

"Now we can tell that wasn't true." Meredith said, grabbing some popcorn.

Lauren was still in a shock. She couldn't believe it. Of course she always had a thing for him, but it was weird and he was always with someone else anyway.

She thought she was the one that got hurt first, but now that changed. As if their talk just called him, they heard a knock on the door.

"Speaking of which…" Brian started.

"Put the movie on" Lauren ordered him, walking to the door.

As soon as she opened the door and saw Darren standing there, her heart skipped a beat. He was wearing his blue hoodie, and she couldn't help but think about those days she was just told about, and to think he was, simply, the best thing on all earth. The story literally touched her sensible way. She wanted to hug him, to kiss him, to tell him everything. But she couldn't.

"Hi." She greeted him.

"Hi", he replied. Every time they just met it was so awkward. Lauren let him in. "Hey, you two, how's the love nest?" he said hugging Meredith.

"It doesn't have a pool table, you can be sure of that." Brian said before greeting Darren, putting the DVD on.

"What are we going to watch?" Darren asked, sitting on the middle of the couch.

"The Hobbit." Meredith responded. "Hey, who gave you that spot?" and she sat down next to him and started to push him. Darren tried to get her off but she started to fight with him.

"Lauren, they are fighting again!" Brian cried, and she just laughed bringing the popcorn and gave it to Brian, who sat down next to Meredith.

Having no option, she turned off the lights and took a spot next to Darren.

"It's a nice apartment," Darren commented as Brian advanced the trailers before the movie; and stealing some popcorn. It was the first time he was in there. "It's too expensive?"

"Just a little, I mean I can afford it now that I'm on this play, but I couldn't otherwise. Are you thinking about renting one?" Lauren asked.

"Yeah, I'll stay here for a little more, so it's convenient. I went to-"

"Shhhh!" Meredith shush him "It's starting."

As they imagined, it didn't take too long for the couple to start cuddling with each other, and Meredith ended up practically laying on Brian's lap, almost sleeping; as if they were doing it on purpose. Working successfully, the others two couldn't be more uncomfortable. The couch wasn't too big, so they were occasionally touching each other and having too time to think about it –the movie was long. Lauren took the popcorn and placed it on her lap, and every time Darren tried to eat at the same time as her, they accidentally held hands. They looked like a teenage couple who didn't have the courage to touch the other, and felt embarrassed when it happened. She tried to keep faking that nothing was happening, but near the two hours she started to get sleepy. She tried to keep her eyes open and they kept falling down. The little hobbits on the screen in front of her were every second more diffuse and their voices further away. It was getting dark…

"God, just leave her alone." Darren's voice sounded. Lauren heard one giggle through another in the distance, and felt some tickles on her nose, in the dark. Why it was dark? She shifted a little trying to find out what just happened.

It took her some minutes to open her eyes and find Brian's fingers punching her face.

"Stop! I'm awake!" she laughed, embarrassed for falling asleep.

She tried to sit up straight, but she had to put her hand on something to catch her balance again. And when she put it on Darren's chest was when she realized she fell asleep on his shoulder; and she felt even more embarrassed. A hot settled up on her cheeks.

"I'm sorry." She whispered, he had his arm around her, she probably didn't leave him another choice, she had her sleep so deep.

"It's okay." He said letting her go. He actually enjoyed having her body resting against his, and hearing her breath so near him. That was one of the reasons he was telling Brian to let her sleep, along with the way she looked doing it. She seemed so relaxed, like a little angel, and he couldn't let anything bothered her.

"Do you guys want me to call a pizza or something?" she stood up; apparently the movie ended up a while ago and it was late.

"No, we are going now." Brian stood up, and holding Meredith's hand, dragging her to the door. "The snacks and movie were good, the company it could've been better."

Meredith smiled. "We're seeing you tomorrow on the Theatre, Lauren, break a leg!"

Lauren said goodbye to them, still a little confused, as they closed the door. Then she rubbed her eyes and went back to Darren.

"I've probably ruined your movie experience."

He laughed. "It's fine, I swear. I know you are tired."

"Well, you are probably too, but you didn't fall asleep! You just started with the shooting again and-" she gasped, how it happened that she totally forgot about that? "What did the Studio say?"

He waited some seconds before answering, but smiled.

"I'm going to record the album and a music video."

Her jaw dropped in surprise. She knew he was going to make it, but hearing those words from him it was so surreal.

"That's amazing, Darren! You deserve it, I'm so happy." And she finally went to his arms, couldn't resist more. She held him tightly, and he smelled her perfume as she got closer. "That's why you said you were looking for an apartment? I'm sorry, I didn't remember!"

"I have to start writing the songs this weekend." He continued as she finished the hug. "It's going to be edited and I have to call the band and stuff, but I want some of the songs to be just me and my guitar. So I'll have a little of everything I like. Maybe you could sing with me in one."

"Are you kidding me? My voice is not recording-material. What about Charlene? You guys always sing together and she recorded a lot of songs already. I would screw it up so much." She explained, flattered but scared.

"I'm not going to force you if you don't want, but I'd love you to sing with me." He just said, smiling slightly. Lauren couldn't reply anything. How did he do that? She remembered about the mix tape and how silly she was to lose him without even knowing. He was one in a million. "I need to use the bathroom." He added, like Lauren didn't say anything.

"Uhm, by the hallway, to the left." She responded.

When he walked away, she put the container with some lonely popcorns on the counter, and started to clean a little the kitchen to settle it up to go to sleep, but a knock on the door interrupted her chore. It was almost midnight, but unluckily, she knew who it was.

"It's midnight." Was the first thing she said, opening the door.

"I know, but you didn't text me back." Zack excused himself.

"You didn't text me. My phone was on the table all night." She went for it and checked, just in case, but nothing.

"I'm sorry. I just wanted to see you. I didn't see you at all today." He said with a sad look, but she didn't let him in yet.

"I told you some friends were coming over today. We accorded to meet tomorrow. You didn't have to come." She was getting tired of him.

"I'm sorry." He repeated. Since they went back together he repeated it all the time. "Are your friends still here?"

"Yeah." she knew if she said no he would want to spend the night there. "Well, Brian and Meredith just left."

"Then, you're alone."

"Actually, Darren's still here."

"You are alone with him?" he raised his eyebrows. "Why? What were you doing?"

"It's not really your business." She snapped.

"It is my business! You are my girlfriend!" he yelled. She didn't want to start a scene but he was doing it pretty difficult. She just didn't see the reason to show up in there at midnight.

"I can't believe you are accusing me of something like that, after what you did. You should be ashamed of asking that."

"It's different, Lauren! You don't know what he can have on mind!"

She felt Darren's shadow behind her. He looked a little upset again. Obviously Zack's presence was never desirable for him.

"I better be going." Darren told Lauren, and she nodded, that was a reason to not look at Zack again. She was still standing up in the door.

"What were you doing in my girlfriend's house?" Zack snapped, he tried to be the nice guy but that just reached his weak point.

"Zack." She warned him.

"Nice pants, Goofy." Darren just replied as he walked through the door, passing next to him. Lauren had to contain her laughter. Zack always wore those ridiculous clothes he thought make him look like a rapper or something like that.

"Watch your mouth, midget." Although, he could be very intimidating when he wanted to.

Darren turned back to him. "You are the one who should watch what is doing, don't you think? And where do you have your d…"

"Darren! Please." Lauren interrupted him. He realized she was having a bad time and stopped. "I'll go with you to the car."

"I'll go too, then." Zack added. She gave him a killer glance, closing the door.

Lauren and Darren went down the stairs, and Zack pretty much follow them behind.

"We're doing something on Sunday, before Brian and Meredith go, okay?" Darren asked her when they stepped on the lasts stairs.

"Yeah, sure." She replied before her phone started to ring. "Give me a minute, it's my brother." She said before picking up. She went a few steps away from him to talk. He opened the door of the car and waited for Lauren. Zack was standing in front on him, and he couldn't help but directing some disgusting looks at him.

"That's all, dude, stop it! You were in my girlfriend's house and you are the one who is an asshole with me? I don't have why to stand your shit." He was so mad, but Darren didn't care at all about him. He just walked some steps to him to make sure Lauren wouldn't hear.

"If you hurt Lauren one more time, I swear I'm going to kill you." Although his height and his looks, he sounded intimidating. He didn't care about that idiot, he only wanted to make sure she'd be okay. Zack didn't have time to respond, because Lauren hung up her phone and approached them. She didn't hear anything of their conversation.

"Congrats again for the contract with the Studio, Dare, see you on Sunday." She hugged him quickly –Zack made sure to clear his throat to separate them, and he got on the car and started to drive as fast as he could. He wanted to get away from there.

He saw on the rearview mirror how the guy put his arm around her, and they headed upstairs again. His knuckles went white from the violent grip he had on the steering wheel. Yes, he could warn and harass to that asshole all that he wanted to. Even thought he hurt Lauren maybe as well as he did it.

But it was killing him that, and _he knew it_, at the end of the day, he wouldn't be the one to fall asleep with his arms around her.

* * *

**A/N: I SWEAR THE NEXT CHAPTER IT'S GOING TO BE HAPPY**

**If you review I'll love you 5 ever **


	5. You are mine

**A/N: Ok soooo I worked really hard for this and it's a very special chapter for me so just hdshgsfdgf I wanted it to be perfect but obviously that's not gonna happen..**

**Warning: Smut. You are warned ;)**

* * *

**Chapter 5: You are mine**

The play that Saturday went good. Nothing too special, she was a little tired from last night, but it was her second to last performance; so she appreciated the moment because she knew they wouldn't last forever. As they promised, Brian and Meredith went to see her and even did a standing ovation for her. She greeted them quickly after the show ended, but she really just wanted to go to sleep. Later in the apartment she made up she had migraine so Zack would leave her alone in the bed (he could be very persistent). At the morning after, she had higher expectations of that day. She ate a quick breakfast, took a bottle of water and went for a morning run.

She loved to run; it kept her relaxed, and distracted her mind from actually meaningless things that annoyed her. She just put her earphones on and got herself lost in the city for a while. When the sun became a little disturbing, and she was too sweaty; she stopped at a Starbucks to get something little to eat for lunch. The queue was pretty long, but she didn't want to eat so she waited for a few minutes. Although, she just needed 30 seconds and the little bells of the principal door rang, and one of the persons she just really didn't want to meet in that moment came in. That person stood up right next to her on the queue so she just pretended to be focused in what to choose to eat, but after a second she recognized her.

"Hey, Lauren!" Mia asked.

"Hm, hi, how are you?" she stuttered.

"Fine, and you?"

"Great. Great. I'm great." She replied, opening her bottle of water and closing it again. The girl apparently woke up a while ago and she had time to do her hair and put nice clothes on. Lauren, otherwise, was sweated like hell, her hair was a mess and she didn't even remember if she washed her teeth. Impressing Mia was not even any of her business, but she couldn't help to regret at least taking a little bit of caring on herself.

"So, are you going to the pub tonight, right? It's Brian and Meredith's last day in New York! We have to take off." _We?_ "Darren and I are going."

How happened that she didn't think of that? Of course she would be going too. And of course that'd mean another horrible night for her.

"They told me to go last night, so… yeah." She waited a few seconds "I'm going with my boyfriend too."

She frowned after saying it. Zack and her friends would mean the worst combination ever. Though the other girl didn't notice her struggle.

"Oh, Darren didn't tell me you have a boyfriend!"

"Why would he?" she replied instantly.

"Yeah, I don't know."

A few seconds of silence followed that interaction. Awkward silence. Horrible silence. Why the employers of that place couldn't work faster? She stared at one of the guys behind the counter until he took her order. Now she had to wait some minutes more until he got it.

"He's been weird lately… Darren. Last night he didn't let me into his hotel's room. Apparently he was awake all night trying to write something for the album. That's what I think; he doesn't really talk to me. I don't know what is happening."

That was the first time Lauren looked directly to her eyes, and she noticed she looked really sad. Maybe she was trying to talk with her because she knew she was close to Darren. If only she knew…

"It's probably just all the pressure. Don't worry." That was all that Lauren could tell to comfort her.

"I guess." Mia replied. She looked so desolated, that Lauren felt bad for thinking mean things about her.

"I'm sorry, my food is here. See you tonight." She said practically grabbing the bad from the employer's hand.

"Sure, bye." She just replied.

Lauren quickly got out of the Starbucks, and took her phone out of her pocket, typing a number.

"Hey, Zack, do you have anything to do tonight?"

* * *

"_Ok, just send me a pic"_ Lauren read from her phone. It was Julia.

"_You know I'm not good at taking selfies" _She replied, putting her earrings on.

"_Please!" _Julia replied. Lauren knew she was scared of her dress choice. Lauren had a great fashion sense, but when she procrastinated, could make very wrong choices; so she sent Julia a picture. It was a black tight short dress. _"You look so hot. His jaw is gonna drop"_ she commented at the instant. Lauren laughed.

"_I hope you meant Zack"_

"_You know who I meant." _

_It was useless_, Lauren thought as she glanced at the mirror for the last time. She actually looked pretty. She didn't force herself to use high heels or anything that didn't fit with her, but she took a little time and did her hair and put a little make up on.

A horn sounded downstairs, and she knew those were Brian and Meredith in a taxi. She accorded to meet Zack later in the pub, so she could warn the others about his presence. They didn't like him very much. He was not the kind of guy you can get along with at first instance. Or at second…

They drove to the pub and went to the balcony on second floor for something to eat. They actually enjoyed more to be there, it was less crowded and quieter.

When they were pretty busy eating, Lauren just stared at the fabulous view they had in there, and said, trying to touch the subject as if it was meaningless.

"I told Zack to come here later."

"What?" Brian made an angry face instantly. "Why did you do that?"

"It's just that you guys are here together. And Darren is coming with Mia. I didn't want to-"

"Darren is not even here yet!" Brian complained.

"But he's going to be here soon."

"Jesus Christ, Lauren, why-" Brian started to talk angrily but Meredith stepped on his foot. "I'm going to go to the bathroom…" he cried, leaving his seat. Lauren just rolled her eyes, eating more from her plate.

"There's no problem, Lo, if you want to." Meredith said, now that they were alone. "But really, tell me, what is up with you two? Do you love him?"

"We just dated for a few weeks." She explained, taking a sip from her water.

"And how is the sex?"

A cough attack went for her. She whipped her mouth with a napkin, offended.

"I can't believe you are asking me that!"

"Well, I want to understand your position, girl! I know he's smoking hot and all, but the short I've talked to him, he seems pretty much a dumbass." Meredith tried to not sound offensive, but that was far from what Lauren thought.

"Oh my god. I don't know. It's fine."

"Just fine?"

"Well, yeah. I don't have really too much time to enjoy it, if you know what I mean."

"So, the thing doesn't last that long." Meredith rested her back on the seat.

"Having in mind that he's like thirty minutes ahead me, no." Lauren said, and they both broke into laughs.

"Then, there's no passion. I don't understand!" Meredith deliberated, and she sighed.

"Look, I'm 25. If I keep waiting until my charming prince shows up at my door, I'm going to wait forever." She explained.

"Maybe he's in front of you and you don't see it. What about Darren?"

Lauren rolled her eyes, everyone were expecting her to do something, but she wasn't the one playing the cards with her hands. She wanted to say to her _"What if he got tired of being the guy recording mix tapes? What if he preferred a girl who did her hair and picked nice clothes when she got up? What if he doesn't love me like I do?",_ but she just looked down. She started to feel sad, so Meredith realized it and stroked her arm.

"I'm sorry. I can't talk about Zack knowing so little about him. If you are happy, we are happy for you too." Meredith smiled, and she smiled too.

"Thank you." She just replied.

Her phone rang on her pocket and she picked up. It was Zack, he was outside the pub and he was asking her to go find him. She gave some money to Meredith to help to pay the bill.

"See you in a minute in the ground floor?" she said.

Meredith just nodded, but seeing she was still feeling a little down, she yelled at her before getting to the hall. "By the way, you look super hot!"

Lauren laughed and shook her head. On the way to the stairs she found Brian going out of the bathroom.

"Please, come with me outside!" she begged to him. It was necessary to go through the bar until the front door and it was full crowded and noisy and she didn't want to go alone there.

He accepted and they went downstairs. It was full crowded and noisy, indeed. She had to take Brian's hand or she would lose him within all the people. At the middle of the way a guy pushed him and spilled a drink on his shirt.

"Oh, god" Lauren bit her lip, trying to go through the people faster before Brian started a fight.

He only reached to yell "Asshole!" at him, but luckily the guy didn't pay attention. They got to the front door, and as soon as they stepped out, Lauren looked at him. "So, after that, you're expecting me to go back, right?"

"I'm sorry!" she laughed, but gave him a hug –not very tight because his clothes had the drink on it-, feeling guilty.

"It's okay, I'll go back to the bathroom I guess." He complained.

"Go for Meredith and see you on the bar." She said. Brian nodded and went back to that messy disaster. She spotted Zack a few steps away; he saw her but didn't approach her so she had to walk to him.

As soon as she got close she could tell he looked really pissed.

"What happened?" she asked.

"That's what I'd like to know." Zack replied, he sounded so angry. "What were you just doing?"

"I was inside the pub, I just-"

"Yeah, with another guy."

She sighed. Really? She felt so mentally tired of his insane jealousy.

"That was Brian, for god's sake! He's my friend! He has a girlfriend!"

"And why were you holding hands with him? And that hug? What about that? Don't try to fuck with me, Lauren!" he got closer and she smelled the alcohol from his mouth. He was probably drinking on his friends' house, but that didn't give him right to treat her like that, to yell at her in the middle of the street.

"I can't keep fighting with you over this anymore!" Lauren said looking down, and she gasped when her eyes went up. His pupils were dilated and his face was all red. And for the first time, she got scared of him.

* * *

"I haven't seen Brian and Meredith since so long ago." Mia commented, excited, on the passenger seat. They were on the car rented by Darren on the way to the pub. He didn't answer anything. She sighed, thinking about what Lauren told her earlier that day. "It's everything okay?"

"Yeah, sure. Why?" he replied quickly.

"Don't you feel stressed… or something like that?" she stuttered.

"No. Why do you say that?" he asked, parking the car.

"Nothing, I just wanted to you know that if you need to-" she was interrupted by the door being slammed against the car when he got out; and she just thought a drink could be useful right now.

Darren waited for her on the sidewalk; but when they were about to enter she saw Lauren a few feet away from them, her and Zack were yelling at each other but he couldn't hear what they said. They both looked pissed. Mia didn't see them.

"Go on, I follow you in a minute." He said to her, and she just nodded and entered to the building.

He watched over them a few steps away, but he was aware that Zack seemed out of his mind in that moment. Both were too focused on their fight to see him, and there were too many people to hear what they said. Then he grabbed her arm and started to shake her, screaming loudly, and she was trying to get away from him but he was strong. He could have heard what he was saying this time, but he didn't take the time to do it. He went directly to him.

He was aware that this guy was bigger, more violent, and probably stronger than him. But at that moment he didn't care.

"Leave her alone!" he stepped in front of him. That surprisingly action caused that Zack dropped Lauren's arm; but then he just snorted a laugh, staring down at him.

"You again, you famous little midget? This ain't your Shire."

But making fun of him wasn't going to work at all. "I'm giving you another chance, asshole, if you don't go away right now I will fucking murder you." Although the height difference had been hilarious in another circumstance, damn he was scary right now. Lauren never saw him being so intimidating. Zack just tried to laugh nervously, but then he looked at Darren's defiant eyes and anyone could tell he didn't want to mess with him. "Get lost." Darren added, so he stepped backwards.

"I'll call you, Lauren!" he said to her before walking away.

"You won't!" she replied before turning back to the wall of the building next to the pub; and lying against it, the sobs took control of her immediately. She pressed her forehead with one hand.

Darren followed her steps and pushed her into a hug. She just started to cry harder as felt his chest against her face and his belly against his hands. She didn't have the strength to hug him back.

"I am really that stupid to trip with the same rock twice, am I?" her voice sounded weak. Darren wanted to go after that guy and punch him in the face, but she needed him and he wasn't going to leave her.

"Don't ever tell that again, because it's not your fucking fault, okay? God, I want to kill that idiot." He pulled her closer, but couldn't help but cursing. She gently pushed him away.

"Thank you for that. I didn't think he'd get like that." She still had some tears on her eyes, and her eyeliner was a mess.

"But are you okay? Did he hurt you?"

"No. I'm fine." She replied quietly. "I just want to go."

"I can drive you to your apartment if you want. Or you can also stay…" he added. She laughed sadly.

"After that? Go back to explain what just happened? And having Brian and Meredith in front of me, and you and-" she stopped talking, she was about to cry again.

"I'll stay with you." He said, as if he was reading her thoughts.

"But…"

He took her hand and dragged her inside the pub. They went to the bar to buy some drinks, but the noise and the people were making her uncomfortable. They spotted Brian and Meredith dancing in the center of the dance floor; well, at least they didn't have to give explanations, they were busier.

Then they saw Mia on the top of a loudspeaker, with some of her friends who apparently were already there; dancing in a manner that gave away their drunkenness. Darren rolled his eyes, letting out a sigh.

"Follow me." He whispered to Lauren.

They went upstairs, near the balcony where Lauren ate a few minutes earlier, and he approached the owner of the place and exchanged a few words with him, apparently he was asking for something and he agreed. Then he went back with Lauren; a tiny bright on his eyes. He grabbed her hand again.

"Where are we going?" she asked, as he dragged her upstairs.

"Trust me." He just said. They went to the fifth floor where you couldn't even hear the mess that was the latest grounds. He leaded her even a way of stairs more, and they got to a wide roof terrace. The first thing they felt it was the wind that swept them hard, but it wasn't cold.

It was beautiful. It wasn't even decorated, it was totally empty; but that was what it made it beautiful. Whenever you turn around you were able to see just an amazing landscape. The lights, the buildings, the threes; it was New York in its full glory.

"This is definitely the prettiest place of New York." Lauren whispered, crossing her arms because of the wind. Darren smiled, looking at her. She was so beautiful that night.

"Wait here." He told her and went to a little room on a corner of the roof.

"What are you doing?" she asked, intrigued.

She realized that place was a deposit room, confirming it when saw Darren dragging a mattress from there all over the roof. She laughed, flattered by that luxury. He put the mattress on the edge of the roof, but enough far from it to make sure they wouldn't fall, because there were no railings at all. He whipped the dust from it, and said:

"Well, it's not five stars but…"

She shook her head.

"I love it." She said before sitting down. He sat down next to her. "It's a wonderful sight, isn't it?"

He looked at her.

"It is."

She giggled, feeling a hot settling on her cheeks. She looked at the lights moving fast above them, the people walking down there with no worries and without knowing they were being observed.

"Have you written anything yet?" Lauren asked. He snorted.

"Not even a single lyric. Not even one. I need to have something for Tuesday and I have nothing." He said, it sounded like if he hated himself for that.

"I'm sure you're going to get on time, as usual. The same thing happened to you in college. Don't you remember?"

He laughed.

"I'm not in college anymore. I'm grateful for everything that is happening to me. But… don't you think sometimes… life is going too fast and you don't have time to catch on? Everything is going faster every time, and I'm not."

"Yes." She answered firmly.

"You do?"

"I do…" she looked away again. A wave of wind whipped them, and she was given the goosebumps.

He put his arm around his waist, so she rested her head on his shoulder. She felt instantly warmer. Darren didn't look at her when he said it, but he had her pictured in his head:

"You look lovely."

"I ruined my make up." She stated, unable to accept his compliments after the way she cried and messed up herself again.

"So? You always look lovely. You are beautiful." He said it like if that was an obvious statement that everyone knows.

"Thank you" She replied, smiling, and let some seconds passed. Although she had something hitting her mind again and again, and she couldn't help but bring the subject on. "Is it true?"

"What?" he asked.

"That you had a crush on me when we were doing the Potter Musical." She said quietly, like if she was scared that someone else could hear them.

"Oh my god." Darren put his hand away again, laughing but obviously ashamed. "It was Joey?"

She shook her head. "Brian."

"I'm going to kill him."

"No!" she said, but she laughed too. "Really, he didn't want to. I forced him to talk. But seriously, Darren. I never knew."

"It's okay, I mean, what would you do anyway. I was an asshole."

"It wouldn't be the first time." He looked at her, offended, and she just burst into laughs. Her laugh was so adorable that he always ended up joining her. "But you can't get mad at Brian, though. You told Joey about us."

"Then I'm assuming you didn't tell anyone as well?" he dared her.

"I'm a girl, it's different." She contradicted.

"So I'm bullied for having a penis."

"Shut up!" She laughed. "I'll keep my mouth shut if you keep your mouth shut from now on."

"Deal." He confirmed.

Lauren waited a moment, trying to hold her questions, but her curiosity was just too strong for her.

"And about the mix tape?"

"Oh, he couldn't keep his mouth shout, couldn't he?" he complained.

"I think that's incredibly cute." She admitted, shrugging.

"It's creepy. Why would you dedicate 80 minutes to someone who barely knows you exist?" he replied, dropping his back on the mattress. She rested her weight on her elbow, next to him, but that way she could look at him better.

"I've always thought you were a nice guy." Who was she lying to? She always had a crush on him.

"A nice guy… If you had told me that back in then, I'd have killed myself."

She clucked, shaking her head. "Which songs did the audio tape have?"

"I don't really remember. It was so long ago… I still have it, though."

"Really?" she started to get excited.

"Yes, in my house. In Los Angeles."

"I want to hear it someday." She begged, getting happier.

"I doubt that. I recorded two of the songs." He explained, every time embarrassing himself more.

"You are kidding."

"No, really, I played the guitar and sang. As I told you. Creepy."

Lauren felt some weird tickles on her belly. "I think that's the sweetest thing anyone ever did for me."

"You don't know what you're saying." He got up a little and rested on his elbow too. "But now that I think about it, you owe me an explanation too."

"Me? Go ahead, I have nothing to hide." She challenged him, frowning.

"Well, it'd be nice to know why you took off your clothes the other night right in front of me." He said, and she started to laugh immediately.

"Oh, God." She started as soon as she stopped laughing "It was just- Ugh, it was your fault. You made me feel weak." She preached.

"What? How did I do that?" he asked, more confused.

"You are always doing what you do! Singing songs and… kissing me at inappropriate moments, and saying those stupid things you always say. And I have no control over you. Over us. It was my revenge." She explained.

"It seems fair. And it worked. But do you know how hard it was to not lose my mind?"

She just stuck her tongue out and laid her back on the mattress.

"You really have no idea, right?" he said looking at her, laying there, only with the bright of the moon to reflect on her skin, her silhouette just for his own sight, her eyes with an special shine, and her voice the only sound in the place. They were alone countless time before, but never like that. They could scream and no one else would hear. And she was there just for him.

"What?" she replied quietly.

He gently put a lock of hair behind her ear, as he always used to do.

"How crazy I am about you. Whenever I see you, I just want to take you. Right there. Kiss you. Make you mine. Hear my name from your lips. Touch your skin. Feel you. And I can't and I think I go crazy."

He leaned over to her ear. She thought that was happening in slow motion, her heart was about to jump through her throat, and her voice was gone. And his voice sounded so close:

"That song was on the tape." And he started to sing, lowly, in a slow way, imitating Steven Tyler's voice: _"I go crazy, crazy, baby… I go crazy... You turn it on… then you're gone…"_

She laughed uncontrollably for a few seconds; then she looked at him to the eyes. He was watching her as if she was the more precious thing on all earth. And she thought he was perfect.

She led a hand to his cheek, and rubbed it before saying, quietly but firmly:

"I'm in love with you."

He waited a moment, which consisted in one second but worth years, to lean over and kiss her. She kissed back at the same time. She wanted him as bad as he wanted her.

He couldn't resist. He never thought he'd hear that from her, and it was happening, and it was amazing.

His lips were gently at first, but didn't wait too long to become ferocious. He put his arms at her sides, and one leg between hers, so she felt his weight on her. She squeezed his curls, anxious, when he made way in her mouth for his tongue. The blood flew through her veins to an alarming speed, and the tickles on her belly were now a flame that was burning her from inside.

Darren's hand sneaked to her thigh, and lifted up a little her dress. He rubbed her leg while kissing her, and his touch was an evil temptation. The more gently that he could, lifted her a little and they moved vertically on the mattress to be more comfortable. He led his lips from her mouth to her neck, kissing it, getting closer to her chest and going up again. She bit her lip.

"Darren…" she moaned. That was the first time he heard her moaning his name and it was the biggest turn on he could ever think about.

"I want you so bad." He whispered. She melted, hearing that from him was something so hard to believe. And his voice just sounded so good.

"Then take me" she said. He wasn't sure if that was an order or an invitation, but whatever it was, it was extremely attractive. He gently lifted up her tight black dress, touching her skin, slowly feeling her figure from her legs to her hips, chest and arms. He put the dress to one side, and kissed her again.

His weight against her was getting harder to stand. He could touch her, but she barely had skin to touch. Her hands went to his tummy and lifted up his shirt, rubbing his back and belly, and Darren bit her lip in response. So that's how Lauren's hands feel on him. He took off his shirt, to make things easier; and she laughed.

"You really can't wait a minute more?" she said lovingly.

"I've already waited too many years." He replied, but he wasn't so hurry as she thought. He wanted to enjoy the moment, because it was unrepeatable. He could never have her under his arms, at the sight of the moon, for the first time, ever again.

After he kissed her until they got out of breath, he went for her ear. He licked the edge of her ear and then bit her earlobe. She felt how the hot on her belly expanded through the rest of her body, and the anxiety took control of her. She needed to feel him. She thrust against him; and he was already tight to her, but it was only then when she felt _him_. He was hard.

He was surprised for her sassiness, but he was holding himself of doing the same thing, so that encouraged him. He pressed his face into her hair, and slowly at first, he started to grind against her. Lauren never felt that way, she never felt such a desperation for someone. But having that man, sweating, moving, and breathing intensely on her ear was the best thing she ever felt. He started to move faster, but not even that was enough; so she thrust again.

"Lauren, fuck." He groaned, and that was the first time she heard Darren like that. It sounded so sexual and so good.

She directed her hands to his butt and pushed it against her, to feel him more. He cursed, staying like that for a moment. Then he looked at her.

"You are going to kill me like this, baby." He said before sitting down, taking off his jeans.

Lauren freaked out and sat down too. Of course she wanted to, but she was scared of not filling his expectations. He just gently kissed her again and whispered:

"Lie down." He ordered. In another circumstances if someone talked to her like that she wouldn't obey, but in that moment she did. He looked at her from up, and she felt totally naked even though she had her underwear on; he just had a look so devourer on his eyes.

He noted that she was nervous, so he grabbed her hand and laid over to her, kissing her cheek.

"Tell me if something's not okay, alright, honey?" she nodded and squeezed his hand.

He unbuttoned her bra and took it off. He put his hands on her waist, and left a trail of kisses on her chest and kissed her breasts. She gasped when he started to suck her breasts, and he stopped thinking she didn't want to.

"More" was the only word that she was able to say. Her chest went up and down along her respiration; and she could only breath heavier and heavier as he obeyed her.

His lips went down to her flat belly and her hipbones. She knew he could see through her underwear how wet she was, but she couldn't help it. He was causing it, after all. He slowly took her underwear off, passing it through her legs, teasing her with his touch.

Then, he made her bend her legs and placed himself between them. Lauren wanted to scream, he was teasing her so much. But suddenly, he directed his lips to her vulva and every single muscle of her body became tight at the instant. She pulled her head back, pressing it into the mattress and closing her eyes, her hands tangled suddenly on the sheet, a load moan that was spitted out of her mouth, and his lips on her and that was the only thing she could think about.

He was making love to her with his mouth and she wouldn't have thought it would feel so good. It was a reflex wanting to close her legs, so Darren put his hands on her thighs to keep her like that.

"Fuck, Darren, holy shit…" she cursed between her moans, which became every time louder.

He couldn't be possibly feeling better. He had her screaming his name, begging him for more, even cursing aloud; and the wind whipped her hair, and she couldn't keep her mouth closed trying to breath; and she was fucking perfect right now.

She squeezed his curls, and moved her hips against him. It wasn't enough. She was totally wet and her body was begging for more. She needed _him_.

"Darren…" she cried.

He didn't make her wait, and went instantly for her. He grabbed her jaw and kissed her, so she could feel her own taste; and his other hand groped for his jeans, and when he found them he pulled his bullet out of the pocket, looking for a condom. He sat down with the condom on his hands, and Lauren sat down too, but she wasn't freaking out this time. She kissed him and whispered:

"Take off your underpants."

He smiled. He earlier gave an order to her and that was her revenge. He obeyed; and she grabbed the condom, and opened it and put it on him. He just stared at her while she was doing it, trying to hold his breath.

She thought he was going to push her against the bed like a savage, but he put her arms around her and gently placed her down again. He looked to her eyes, and as he slipped onto her. She was tight, but he perfectly fitted in her. He felt an instant relapse when he was completely inside; she was perfect.

Then he muttered slowly on her ear:

"I love you. I resisted the urge to say it so many times, and I tried to convince myself I didn't way more than I should, but I love you. I've always did. I love you…." He kept repeating, as he started to move inside of her.

He only stopped saying it when she took his jaws and kiss him; but he whispered it every time they caught some breath, like if he thought she wouldn't believe it if he'd just say it once.

His thrusts became faster, and she moaned every time harder. His weight on her was delicious, feeling him inside of her, hearing her name tangled within groans of pleasure from his mouth, having his forehead pressed against hers, and his hand on her jaw line. She knew in that moment nothing more existed for her than him, and nothing more for him than her; and they were lost in their mutual dependence and they just wanted to die in it.

She clasped her legs on his ass, and tried to move along with him. She could already feel his shakiness; his breath got faster.

"Baby, I'm not going to hold much longer…" he gasped, thrusting harder and faster.

Lauren was feeling how the waves of pleasure were sweeping her off. She stabbed her nails on his back, hurting him; and both reached the climax in the same moment. Then he kissed her violently, between their own screams calling each other's names.

The shakiness attacked her brutally; all of her muscles went tighter than ever, compressing Darren inside of her, and he came inside of her and he never thought it would be so good.

"Holy shit, Lauren…" he whispered. He dreamed of that night long time ago, and he thought about how'd it be making her his, how'd she react to his touch, what'd she like, how'd her expression be during the orgasm; but it was still a million times better.

He kept breathing against her mouth a few seconds, and she played carelessly with his hair. He laid down next to her and put an arm around her, pulling her the closest he could.

"I love you." He repeated, holding her tight.

"I love you too." She replied, resting her head on his chest, that was the place she was more comfortable than any other. Saying that they love each other it was so pleasuring after holding the words so long time. He kissed her forehead.

The wind was getting cold but they didn't care. They stayed naked, holding in each other's arms, feeling each other's breath.

"Can we stay like this forever?" Darren asked, closing his eyes and holding her hands. And she did it too.

They could scream and no one else would hear. And she was there just for him. She was his, and he was hers. They were alone, on the top of the world, and nothing else mattered.

* * *

**A/N: yaaaay happiness? **

**if you review I'll love you and all that jazz**


	6. A double-edged sword

**A/N: Hi angels sooo I have another chapter in an attempt to break your hearts... **

**Lauren's lullaby in my mind is the song Little things of One Direction (I don't like them but damn that song) this is the link on youtube /watch?v=6wBzR7zhA0g**

**and the song that Darren and Lauren sing is Everything has changed of Tswift and Ed Sheeran, and I love that because of Darren previous relation with an Ed Sheeran's song on the beginning and because of a future relation of Lauren with a Taylor Swift's song (whops), the link on youtube is /watch?v=wQGbK45y2jE**

**I highly recommend to listen to each song in the part they are mentioned, because it really helps to imagine the situation :) **

**Warning: Hints of sex... and angst angst angst angst**

* * *

**Chapter 6: A double-edged sword**

After that night, things became weird; although they didn't realize it. He started to poison her, she needed him all the time. They were obsessed. He didn't rent an apartment after all, but he stayed at a friend's house in New York. Whenever he was alone in there, he texted her, and she'd come and they'd desperately kiss like if they didn't see each other for a long time, keeping in the dark, in the secret, alone. When he was shooting for Glee, everything was more complicated. He was scared of bringing her to the set; people would ask and assume things and he didn't want to put her in that spot; and she didn't want to be in that situation yet either. So she gave him a copy of the key of her apartment. If it wasn't too late, he opened the door and surprised her when she was cooking, or having shower, or reading. He didn't leave her time to ask, he just approached her and held her tight; whispering love words, and she just smiled and pulled him closer. Sometimes they didn't even get in the room. He took her in the kitchen, in the hallway's wall, in the bathroom; anxiously; he made love to her like if there wasn't anything more important than her. Sometimes she called her when he was busy, and it was the hardest thing for him to say he couldn't go. Sometimes he was too tired or it was too late; and he felt like hell although she always said it didn't matter, they would see each other the next day. But Lauren was poisoned. She started to skip rehearsals to see him, she melted just from hearing his voice again, and she started to get troubles to sleep thinking about him. But he knew how to calm her quickly with a hug, with a few kind words, with a kiss.

But his relationship was far away from being perfect. Darren was totally in denial about breaking up with Mia. He was scared of doing it so. He thought that what he had with Lauren was too amazing to last, and he kept saying he had feelings for Mia too, although he was every time avoiding her more. She realized something was wrong but never suspected what was actually happening. He made up excuses when he was seeing Lauren; he was the one who built a wall between them but wasn't ready to break up yet; hurting the two women he loved. And Lauren, in her blindness, believed all his words.

"I'm going to break up with her." He said, between kisses, while they were quickly undressing each other. He had to go with Mia to a ball, but he convinced her to meet there instead of going together, to have time to see Lauren. He knew she'd see pictures of them on a magazine and she'd get hurt, "I'm going to do it soon, I swear. I just can't now. I'm sorry…" and Lauren just nodded and apologized him, over and over.

They accorder to not tell to absolutely anyone. Not even Joey or Julia. Somehow the word would spread and either Mia will found out, or the pressure will lead their relationship to failure.

One night, he couldn't keep making excuses and Mia went to have dinner with him and his roommate called Louis. That day Lauren got sick. She forgot her coat at the theater last night and she caught the flu. He just heard her on the phone and she sounded so bad, and he couldn't go to see her. And it was 2am and he was laying on his bed, unable to close an eye, Mia sleeping next to him. He thought about Lauren. He thought that she was snuggled on her bed, coughing, alone, trying to sleep. He reached his phone and texted her. "_Are you awake?"_ And after a minute he got the usual _"Yep" _from her_._ He looked at Mia, she was deeply asleep. He put a coat on, and sneaked out of the room trying to not make a sound. He drove to Lauren's apartment. She tried to get up when he opened the door of her room.

"Shhh." He just told her, leaving the coat on the bedside table. But she didn't obey.

"I can't believe you came here." She laughed. Her voice was hoarse. Her eyes were red and she looked tired, he couldn't tell if she was just sleeping and her text was a lie, or if it was due her flu.

"How do you feel?" he asked quietly, spooning her on the bed, making room for himself between the big amount of sheets and blankets.

"Like shit. You're going to get sick too." She warned him, feeling how he cuddled next to her.

"I am invincible." He replied holding her hands, and she smiled. "I couldn't sleep tonight, though." He played gently with her hair. "Do you need something? Did you take your medicine?"

"Yes, dad." She messed with him. "I'm fine. Better now." She squeezed his hands. She breathed heavy through her congested lungs for a few seconds, and then added "It's hard for me to sleep, too. Every night I lay in the bed alone, and I think that you are with her, and it kills me."

He felt that stabbing guilty pain in his heart again. He actually didn't spend many nights with Mia, but he knew telling that wouldn't help at all. So he just held her tightly.

"I'm sorry." He said. Then he noted how cold her skin was. "Are you cold?"

"It's just the fever." Lauren explained.

They both remained silence for a second.

"Darren?" she asked shyly.

"Yeah?"

"Could you… sing to me?"

He gently took her hair out of her face. Then he directed his lips close to her ear, feeling her body hot and her wheezing due the affection; and started to sing, quietly, just for her, like a lullaby, a song that he just made up in his mind. An invented story that only had sense for them; and she left him invade her mind, as his voice relaxed her body. He felt how she fell asleep in his arms at the end of the song; and he did it right away too.

The next morning he woke up early because Mia couldn't know he didn't spend the night there. He sneaked out of Lauren's bed and woke her up with a healthy breakfast especially made for someone who's sick. She was super surprised because Darren never used to cook, but she couldn't be more flattered.

"Do you feel better today?" he asked, stealing a bite from her food.

"A lot. Thank you. You are adorable." She stated, and he smiled, crouching to the bed to talk to her.

"Take your medicine. Keep yourself warm. I have to go, I'm sorry" he apologized.

"It's okay, I understand." She said. He kissed her although she didn't want him to catch the flu too.

He drove like crazy back to his Liam's house. So fast that he didn't even realize he left his coat in Lauren's room, until he got out of the car and the cold wind whipped his body. He couldn't go back to look for it, so he just entered to the house, and tried to be the quietest he could opening the bedroom's door. But when he turned back he found Mia sitting down on the bed, with a face that couldn't mean anything good.

"Where were you?" she asked. She had her phone on hand, and apparently had been calling him, but he didn't take his phone with him.

"I'm sorry, I went for a little walk."

"At this time?" she raised her eyebrows, not believing him at all.

"I couldn't sleep."

"You went out like that? It's fucking freezing outside." He couldn't reply anything to that. She sighed, frustrated, "Darren, what is wrong?"

He sat down in bed next to her, passing his fingers through his hair.

"Look." He took her hands, and saw the look on her eyes, and thought he couldn't do it. Sure, he loved Lauren, but she was _now_ in his life like that. Mia had been there since years ago. Maybe things weren't working now but he couldn't just give up. And Lauren needed to understand that too. It wasn't just any relationship. "I'm fine, I just think I'm getting sick. I'm sorry for being an asshole lately."

She didn't seem completely convinced, but that worked for a little time. He needed to figure out what to do first, and then make final decisions.

* * *

On the other side, after the first night he spent with Lauren, he started to write the songs immediately, one after another. He brought what he got that Tuesday to the studio and they loved it, according to start recording as soon as he finished the entire album. He called Joey to look for an old CD he recorded years ago and send it to New York, because he wanted one of its songs as an opening. He never played it so no one knew about its existence, and it was very special for him. He got the CD and he was about to finish, and everything seemed to be meant for big. He was proud of himself, the songs were good. But before coming out to the public, he needed to know something. That Saturday at middle day, he called Lauren on the phone. Fortunately, she recovered from her flu really fast and she was fine by then.

"Do you have the play today?" he asked.

"No, I have the last one next Saturday." She replied. He could tell she was cooking by the background sounds.

"Are you going to sing a song with me?"

She laughed. "You are crazy. If you have guts enough to have my voice in your album, I'd love that."

"Then make a meal for two." He said smiling, grabbing the papers with lyrics and chords. "We have a rehearsal ahead"

They (Darren and his inseparable guitar) went to Lauren's apartment when she was finishing the lunch. He sat down on the floor, near her, with his back lying against the wall, making the final musicals and lyrics adjustments. She carried two plates of a pie and put them on the floor, next to him.

"Do you want some wine… or something?" she asked, opening the fridge and looking inside of it. "I mean, I don't have any in here, but I can buy some."

He shook his head. He had been drinking a lot lately, especially between writing and the guiltiness he was feeling. But every time he was with Lauren he wanted to quit it completely. She never said anything to him, but he knew she disapproved that behavior.

"I'll drink whatever you are drinking."

"Water." She said, grabbing her bottle.

"Then water is fine." She put two glasses on the floor and served the water in them, and then started to eat the pie.

"Get some." She pushed the plate near him, excited for his opinion. He tasted some of the meal. "Can I?" she asked, pointing the lyrics, and he nodded, so she grabbed and took a look at them.

"This is delicious." Darren stated. Lauren snorted.

"Oh, God. Look at this. You are not featuring me. I am featuring you! I have more verses than you." She complained, pointing the lyrics like if they were the proof of the crime.

"Why are you so nervous? It's going be great. You're going to sound amazing. Chill. I know my shit, Lo." He messed with her, and she squinted. She was about to give the papers back to him, but he shook his head. "I already know the lyrics."

She smiled. That wasn't a surprise, and it wouldn't be if he forgot them in a matter of minutes either. He took the guitar, and showed her how the song should sound like; so he sang it complete one time. Then he started to sing every line one at a time, and she repeated them after him. Lauren always had been a perfectionist, so she kept pushing him to give her corrections to have every word sounding exactly like he wanted to. Although, Darren thought some of the lines sounded better the way she sang them, and kept his mouth shout to have her singing them in her beautiful manner.

When they thought everything was settled in its best way, they decided to go through the song complete for the first time. Their plates were empty; the glasses had been filled and emptied one and another time. He entered through the first chords, giving a sign with his head to Lauren when she had to start.

_All I knew this morning when I woke_

_Is I know something now, know something now I didn't before_

_And all I've seen since 18 hours ago, is green eyes and freckles and your smile _

_In the back of my mind making me feel like _

Darren made a quick gesture with his hand to her to go slower, and she nodded. The song was delicate; she needed to stroke gently every note with her voice.

_I just want to know you better, know you better, know you better now_

_I just want to know you better, know you better, know you better now_

And he joined her, quietly at first; like if he was waiting that her voice accepted him first.

_I just want to know you better, know you better, know you better now_

_I just want to know you, know you, know you…_

He smiled to her and she smiled back. She was still a little shy, too controlled, she didn't let her voice went further than her usual power, as he wanted her to; she was scared of messing it up. But she was adorable.

_Cause all I know is we said hello_

_And your eyes look like coming home_

_All I know is a simple name, everything has changed_

_All I know is you held the door_

_You'll be mine and I'll be yours_

_All I know since yesterday, is everything has changed_

When Darren got to his solo lines, his voice raised. Lauren felt a chill through her skin. His voice was perfect.

_And all my walls stood tall painted blue_

_But I'll take them down, take them down, and open up the door for you_

Lauren took advantage of that moment to sit a little closer to him; just in time for her part.

_And all I feel in my stomach is butterflies, the beautiful kind_

_Making up for lost time, taking flight, making me feel like_

She was getting into it. She was letting her voice lose control; still in the slowly, delicate way she needed to. And it sounded beautiful. He joined her for the chorus again:

_I just want to know you better, know you better, know you better now_

_I just want to know you better, know you better, know you better now_

_I just want to know you better, know you better, know you better now_

_I just want to know you, know you, know you_

He looked at her in the eyes. If he wasn't wrong, she was enjoying the song as much as he was.

_Cause all I know is we said hello_

_And your eyes look like coming home_

_All I know is a simple name, everything has changed_

_All I know is you held the door_

_You'll be mine and I'll be yours_

_All I know since yesterday, is everything has changed_

He nodded, letting her know she was making it exactly how it was supposed to be, or even better. And he discretely got closer to sing with her the next part. He wanted to hear her voice next to his ear.

_Come back and tell me why_

_I'm feeling like I've missed you all this time_

_And meet me there tonight_

_And let me know that it's not all in my mind_

Lauren put a hand on his arm, and he stopped playing the guitar. He wasn't supposed to stop, but that was a good mistake, because they didn't let that ruined the song. She sang quietly, and he felt like she was singing just for him. Her voice soft, delicate, close. And those seconds lasted for an eternity. She was so perfect.

_I just want to know you better, know you better, know you better now_

_I just want to know you, know you, know you_

And he joined her again, restarting the guitar's playing.

_Cause all I know is we said hello_

_And your eyes look like coming home_

_All I know is a simple name, everything has changed_

_All I know is he held the door_

_You'll be mine and I'll be yours_

_All I know since yesterday, is everything has changed_

And he left her the last lines, just joining her occasionally in a few words, and in the very last one; they harmonized really well, but he wanted just to listen to her. And he thought there was nothing better than her voice singing gracefully near his ear, and the casual frown on her eyebrows trying to focus, and the little gestures with her hands, and her eyes looking for his for confidence.

_All I know is we said hello_

_So dust off your highest hopes_

_All I know is pouring rain_

_And everything has changed_

_All I know is a new found grace_

_All my days, I'll know your face_

_All I know since yesterday is everything has changed._

"It's perfect." She commented, with a wide smile on her lips.

"You are." He contradicted. If they sing that song for the album, it'd be already incredible.

"Are we going to practice it again?" she asked.

"Later." He replied, leaving the guitar away. He put his hands on the floor, and leaned over to kiss her. She softly put her fingers on his jaws, kissing him back.

He gently lifted her by her thighs and placed her over his laps, with one leg on one side and one in the other.

"Do you ever think in another thing besides making out?" she asked him, grinning, and playing with his black amber curls.

"Not when I'm near you." He replied, pulling her closer; grabbing her neck to snog her deeper.

Forty minutes later, they were sweated, naked, laying on the floor next to each other; trying to catch some breath.

"You are…" Lauren said as loud as her intense respiration left her "fucking good."

"It's because… because of you…" he was as out of breath as her "you drive me crazy."

He leaned over to her to kiss her again, but she put a hand on his chest and gently pushed him away. "We need to practice." She ordered, and he made his best puppy face. "No buts."

She got up and put a top and shorts on. "You can't expect me to focus if you are dressed like that." He objected, and she dedicated to him a sly half smile; so he at least put his underwear on too. "Hey" he called, and she sat down with her legs crossed, next to him. "You know, before releasing the album, I have to release a single. And that means a music video. We've thrown a few ideas for it already. And yesterday we were watching the audition girls for it, because we need a girl for the video. A lot of actresses and models auditioned. So, well, I just have to say that none of them has what I'm looking for. That's what leads me to you"

"Oh my god, you can't be serious!" she couldn't believe what he was about to ask, so he didn't let him finish. She didn't know how to feel with that invitation.

"I need natural beauty, Lauren; not that forced, fake perfection I've seen yesterday." He commented, almost offended.

"Why me?" she asked. He just shrugged, but before he could explain, she added, "I have no material for a music video. I'm tiny, I'm not slim, I don't have long hair or a nice smile."

"Have you ever looked yourself in a mirror?" he said. He wished he could make her see herself the same way he saw her. He put a lock of hair behind her ear. "You are incredibly beautiful. And I feel blessed just to see you, to be next to you. Every time you smile I feel I could just die happily in that moment. You make me want to be a better person. This week has been the best I ever had so far. It's still hard to believe that you choose me, to be with you." He took her hand and kissed it softly. She felt how her cheeks blushed.

"Oh, fuck you then. I guess I'd like to be in your stupid video if your girlfriend doesn't murder me first." She accepted, annoyed because she never could say no to him; and he just replied with a grin. Then she looked down, and added shyly, "Nick sent me the script of the new musical."

"Oh." Darren commented, surprised. She stood up, and grabbed it from the table, and then went back to her spot on the floor. "When do rehearsals start?"

"Actually, tomorrow. But I'm going back next week, because I have one more show. They will understand." She said carefully, because she knew that subject could be very painful for Darren sometimes. He was happy that Starkid was every time bigger and open to a bigger amount of people, but it hurt him not being able to be a part of that as much as he wished. He took the script and started to take a look to it. He read the words Holy Musical Batman and some interesting and hilarious lines, finding out that Clark was doing the music of this one.

"You're going on Sunday next week, right?"

"Yeah." She replied.

"I might go with you. I want to give the guys a little support, perhaps I can help with the scenery or something. I'll try to record enough this week to make the studio happy, and I think the Glee hiatus starts on Friday, so it's perfect. I want to stay at least one day. And then come back to ChiChi for the premiere, of course, I couldn't miss that." he was playing carelessly with the pages of the script.

"That'd be amazing." Lauren smiled, thinking about an entire flight alone with him. But he still looked a little sad, so she added gently, "You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine." He assured, but changed the subject, "Who's your character?"

"It was supposed to be Candy, the villain's girl. She has some great lines and hits, it seems interesting. But I don't think I'm going to take it." She explained.

"Why?"

"Well, I'm going to be there for only a week. I don't want to push myself in so little time, or mess it up and embarrass the others. I told Nick I'll communicate him my decision tonight. But yeah, I'll ask him for a tinier part. I think it'd be the best." She said a little dreary. It wasn't that the reason she was asking for a less important character. It was because she wanted to spend more time with Darren, because she needed to be with him. He noticed it. She had a hand on her chest, so he grabbed it and slowly pushed it against her skin.

"I swear, when all of this passes, we're going to be okay."

She looked at him to the eyes. Right now it was the best moment of her life, but it was hard. It was difficult to struggle daily with the loneliness, the jealousy, the fear, the sacrifice.

"You promise?" she whispered, squeezing his hand.

"I promise."

* * *

There was more practice and more of other things that Saturday. Lauren told Nick her suggestion, and he understood completely and gave Jaime the role of Candy, and selected another not-main character for her. On Thursday at morning she went with him to the studio to record the song. It was a little intimidating. The staff, the speakers, the mixers and instruments everywhere, and all the people had a look so serious on their faces. It wasn't until Darren hugged her by behind and kissed her cheek until she chilled out.

"The boys are here." He announced, referring to the current member of his band. The bass player was Liam, so she knew him already; the same with the drummer, because he had been working with Darren for a few years; the only surprise she was given was the guitarist: it was Brad, Dylan's friend. Apparently they met through Dylan, and they had been jamming since then, and Darren gave him the opportunity to try out for the first song in his album, and he did it amazingly so they decided to keep him.

He presented her as the "video girl" to the staff, some of them found it hilarious and others adorable. But she didn't feel comfortable at all at their reactions.

The band started to settle all up inside the recording studio, jamming carelessly a little to tune the instruments and make some final adjustments. Darren approached Lauren.

"How would you prefer to record the song?" he asked, pulling her gently by the waist to enter to the record room. "Like, we sing together from once or we sing separately and they mix our voices later?"

Lauren frowned slightly. She had been through the recording process with Starkid, but it wasn't really that professional. So she just answered "I want to sing with you."

He smiled. "Great." Darren adjusted her microphone to her height (as usual) before placing himself in his own. "If these idiots screw up, just keep going, because the instruments will be added later."

"Jeez, thanks for the confidence, bro." the band laughed.

She nodded shyly, and they started recording the song. She knew they'd have to sing it more than once, but the first time was awful. She did it terrible. The people on the other side of the room just staring at them made her nervous, she couldn't go along with the beat, she kept hurrying, and her voice was totally closed. She wasn't having a good time. Darren made some grimaces that he tried to hide through the song, but she noticed it; couldn't blame him, though, she was screwing it up. After the second time they repeated the chorus, he made some gestures to the stuff and the band to stop.

"We do it again?" the guy sitting down in the other side of the room asked, with his finger already on the recording button. That confirmed she indeed did it horrible.

"Just a minute." Darren said, asking for a break. He made a gesture to Lauren to follow him outside the room. He closed the door and looked at her. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I am. I'm sorry, I just-" she stuttered.

"Hey, listen." He grabbed her face and looked at her in the eyes. He wasn't that worried for the song as he was for her comfort, "It's only you and me, like the other day, okay? The others don't matter. I want you to be yourself; if you can do that, then the song is ready. You have nothing to worry about. The staff is here because they are getting paid, and I already know you have a beautiful voice, so there's nothing to lose. Just relax. It's only you and me." He repeated. She nodded, and he let out a tiny smile. "I trust in you." He said, and he stroked her hair before they entered to the recording room again.

After that, the session was a success. Luckily (and as always), Darren's words worked amazingly in her. They focused on each other and just in that, and everything else was easier. They had to sing a few times more, though, so they'd have material to mix; but they ended up enjoying it as much as the first time they sang it.

When they finished, the band started to prepare all their stuff again to leave the studio. Darren was working with some adjustments with the drummer, and Lauren waited for him near the door. Then Brad, carrying his guitar case, approached her.

"Hey, Lauren. You have a beautiful voice." He complimented her in a gentleman way.

"Thank you." She smiled, playing with her bottle of water.

"It's going to be sweet to have you in the video. I think Darren did the right thing, the other girls sucked next to you. How did you two meet?" he asked.

"College. We studied together. Then we worked in the same theatre company. Well, I still do. And Darren, he does what he can." She explained. He leaned against the wall, next to her.

"Are you guys…?"

"Oh, no, no. We are just friends." she lied, they promised not saying about them to anyone. "He has a girlfriend, so…" she looked down.

"You are really pretty." He commented, looking at her. That compliment surprised her. "It would be fine if I asked you for a coffee one day? I'm going back to LA soon, so it'd be nice to spend at least one day with you."

She breathed awkwardly, he was asking her to a date. "Uhm…" He was a nice and handsome man, but how could she explain to him? "Actually, in three days I'm going back to Chicago. But if I'm around here someday…"

"Cool." He interrupted her, handing her his phone number in a piece of paper. She smiled, trying to hide her awkwardness. Luckily in that moment Darren approached them.

"Are we going?" he asked to Lauren, wrapping one hand around her waist, and looking askance at Brad. She put the number in her pocket, and they just waved to him before leaving the studio. Brad sure had a confused look on his face. "What did he want?" Darren asked, annoyed, once they were out of the building.

"I think he just asked me on a date." She said, not very sure yet. They walked to a restaurant near the studio to have lunch.

"And what did you say to him?" he held the door for her, but that tone apparently was already warning her about her response.

"What to do you think I said?" she raised an eyebrow, sitting down on the table, picking a spot next to the window. He sat down in front of her.

"Better you said no." he warned, looking at the menu.

"Why? You can have two girls, but I can't have two boys?" she said, teasing him, looking at her menu as well.

"Did you say yes?" he asked quickly, and put the menu down, offended.

"Maybe." She shrugged, carelessly. It was a lie, but she was enjoying seeing him jealous. Maybe tasting a little of his own medicine would put his feet down to earth again.

"Then I'll have to kick him out of the band." He said shaking his head. She laughed loudly.

"Don't be a silly baby." she commented, entertained, before the waiter asked for their orders. "I couldn't do it, though. I'm in a stupid monogamy attachment to you."

He grinned, taking her hand and stroking it gently. "I'm sorry." He said again. He always said he was sorry, he always felt guilty.

They heard some noises coming from the other side of the window, but when they turned their heads to it, there was nothing. Lauren frowned, and they tried to not pay attention to it, but they finished their meals the faster they could. Although, when they went for the car, they spotted a paparazzi struggling between the shrubberies next to the window to take some pictures of them. Lauren was surprised, that never happened to her. Darren just acted like if he hadn't seen him, but whispered to her:

"Hurry up."

He drove her to the apartment and they didn't say anything more about that incident. He just congratulated her for the good work on the song, and she thanked him the opportunity to sing with him.

"Don't you want to come in?" she asked, opening the car's door.

"I can't now, baby, I'm sorry. I have an episode to shoot now, but if I finish before midnight I'll sneak into your bed, okay?" he responded, and Lauren kissed him, amused, before entering to her apartment. He was unbelievable.

* * *

Thursday and Friday went on as usual. Darren didn't break up with Mia, Lauren kept skipping her responsibilities to see him, but at least he finished the songs. Darren promised to go to her last performance of Les Miserables. They accorded Lauren would come back to New York for a few days after Holy Musical Batman, to film the video. She didn't have too much idea about it, Darren didn't let her to hear the song until he recorded it; and she just knew they'll film in New York and her and the band will star it.

That Saturday Darren got out of the shower, and found Mia on the living room of Liam's house, sitting on the couch. He raised his eyebrows.

"Hey, I didn't know you were coming" he just commented in surprise. She had a look that scared him. He approached her, and realized she had a magazine in her hands.

"Guess what someone threw at my mail box." She said without greeting him. He took the magazine, and looked at the page where it was opened. There was a picture of him and Lauren holding hands in the restaurant; and another of him with one of her Glee co-workers talking and laughing on the set, alone. He was sure those were the funny noises on the other side of the window, how he didn't realize before? What an idiot. It was obvious that if they went on public, at one point they'd be seen; and it was even more dangerous having in mind the fact that the people more tight to them didn't know yet. The picture was above the title of _Is Darren Criss finding New adventures in New York? _and a pretty long not accurate description of his last days in that city. They talked about the album, about his relationship with Mia, and about Glee, but they talked about Lauren as if they just met there and they were in a fiery youth adventure, putting her along with her Glee mate. It was the first time he found out some reporter was calling him a womanizer, mentioning another names of celebrities that he apparently had been seen with, when in reality they didn't even met. Although, he was lucky they didn't put only his picture with Lauren, but they added another one, because that'd be too suspicious.

"You know these are rumors, honey." He gave the magazine back to her.

"And the pictures?"

"They mean nothing. They are just casual pictures, they are out of context. I am not doing anything that thing says."

She had tears on her eyes. And in that moment he felt like the biggest jerk in the world. "You are right. Sorry. It's just that we barely had been together these days. And you're going to Chicago tomorrow, and then you'll be recording, and then Chicago again, and then the video. And I feel like I'm not a part of anything in your life anymore."

She started sobbing, and he tried to calm her down as he could. The stabbing pain of guiltiness went through his chest again while doing so. He took her chin and forced her to look up.

"Look, I'm going to the theatre tonight. Have a shower, put your best dress on, and come with me." He said, he didn't know what else to do to calm her. He was drowning himself in his own lies.

Therefore, they went to see the play that night. He waited to be on the theatre to tell her Lauren was on it, luckily she didn't seem to have any kind of resentment with her, unlike her Glee co-workers. His invitation seemed to have Mia content, because she looked happy all that time. When the show finished, he told her to wait a few minutes outside the doors because he had to greet Lauren (just for courtesy reasons, of course). He walked backstage, and this time it was different that the last one he went to see her; like it was the last play, they were cheering and talking all together in the same dressing room. He waited some seconds out of the group, until Lauren spotted him and went to hug him.

"Hi, beautiful." He greeted her. He could tell she was really happy, she had a wide smile on her lips and her face was brightening.

"I've missed you." She said, holding him tight, even though they had seen each other the day before.

"Hey, Lauren, introduce your handsome boy to us!" a voice sounded walking next to them, and Lauren cursed lowly. A brunette was standing looking at them with a charismatic big smile, waiting for a presentation. She was a pretty woman, but seemed a little too showy.

"Hm," Lauren let him go, "Darren, this is Angela, she's been working in this theatre since ages ago. Angela, this is Darren, my… friend." She introduced them.

"Of course I know who this is. But this is the first time we officially met, so, it's a pleasure." Angela said with her slightly southern accent, shaking his hand. Lauren winced; the presence of that woman in any moment already resulted obnoxious to her.

"Mine too." He just replied.

Angela sighed, letting go his hand. "Aren't you a lucky girl? The two boys I know you banged are smoking hot." She said like if she couldn't believe it, and Lauren didn't reply anything.

"How appropriate." Darren commented sarcastically once she was away, but laughed when saw Lauren's face. She was all red. "Are you okay?"

"I hate her." She whispered, but enough loudly to show the anger in her voice. "Zack cheated on me with her."

"Well, that's not going to work with me, baby." He replied, planting a soft kiss on her cheek. He wanted to properly kiss her, but he knew he couldn't do it with all those people there. She smirked, grabbing his hand.

"You wait for me outside?"

He sighed. "I don't think I can-" a big loudly group cheer interrupted him. One of the members of the cast opened a bottle of champagne, shouting about a nomination for an award that he just made up. Lauren rolled her eyes, amused.

"We're not going to be able to talk in here." She yelled, trying to sound above all of the people's voices. "See you outside." She said before another member of the cast, with a glass of champagne in hand, grabbed her by the waist and carried her to the center of the group. As it was usual on the last show, they were going crazy; so Darren just left the room, without being able to explain why he couldn't see her later.

He approached Mia on the sidewalk, and looked for the keys of the car on his pocket. "Let's go."

"Wait, just let me finish this cigar." She said, exhaling some smoke.

"Is it really necessary?" he asked. That was one of her habits that he really hated.

"Just five minutes."

He waited next to the car, but it didn't take too long before the cast started to show up through the front door of the theatre. His heart broke when Lauren was walking to him, and her smile faded away as soon as she saw who was with him. Luckily Mia didn't notice it and went to congratulate her. He just looked at his own feet, feeling like the biggest piece of shit on earth. The two women exchanged a few words, then Mia dropped the cigarette on the floor and stepped on it.

"Goodnight." Lauren said to Darren walking by, with a cold tone of voice that only used when she was really upset. He saw the sad look on her face and wasn't able to reply. So he just waited until Mia got into the car, and did the same thing.

Lauren walked to the street corner, looking for a taxi, but the streets were desolated. It was late, and she wasn't sure how to get home. She was cold and she felt like getting sick again; a nuisance settled down on her chest. And the last voice she wanted to hear sounded a few feet behind her.

"You don't feel so lucky now, don't you?" Angela said walking next to her. It wasn't until that moment when she felt so tiny and miserable, that she noticed how tall that women was.

"I don't want to talk to you right now, Angela, leave me alone." She asked. Her voice was about to break.

"I can assume you were expecting that, after all."

"What do you mean?" she didn't want to enter to her game, but she wasn't strong enough to ignore her in that moment.

"Well, he's famous like hell, am I right? He sang for the president. He's on TV every day. He wins like a fucking million dollars just for pooping. And well, this can seem big compared to Chicago, but you still are in off-Broadway. You didn't even have a lead. And this is a relatively small production. I'm sorry, honey. But it's obvious he's not gonna go for a girl like that." She put a hand on her shoulder. "Welcome to reality. It fucking sucks." She finished.

"Don't touch me." She yelled, shaking her shoulder to get her off. She started to walk in direction to her apartment, leaving that horrible girl behind, at that point she'd go walking.

"Somebody had to tell you, Lauren! Carry on!" The woman kept screaming from the street, but she was walking away.

Lauren whipped the tears from her eyes, but they kept falling one next to another. She walked as fast as her little legs allowed her, for eternal minutes. She couldn't help but start to sob when she entered to the apartment. She leaned her back against the wall, and directed her hands to her mouth, trying to control her crying, but it was in vain.

It hurt like hell, but Angela was right. She had to accept it. She only saw one side of the card, she saw the gentle, kind, lovely Darren that sang her to sleep; but he was a double-edged sword. She could keep playing with it, and everything would be fine until the blood started to drop on her feet.

Lauren took her phone and texted, even though she barely could see what she was typing: _I can't do this anymore_, and sent it to Darren. He needed to know she couldn't fly with him the next day. Then, she threw her phone away, and left her back slowly slipped down the wall until she ended up on the floor, unable to hold her crying.

Either she broke her phone, or he didn't reply in the next ten minutes. Her apartment never looked so big, so empty, like in that moment. Her luggage was all ready in the kitchen, and her bedroom was dark. That would be the last night she spent in there, and the saddest one. She thought about the expectations she had when she got there. She went to New York to follow her dreams, but that didn't include having her heart broken. Everything went down when he appeared. She cursed that moment of weakness on the balcony. How could the same person who looked so much like an angel when he smiles, pull her to that abyss of self pain?

She breathed heavily, not even worrying herself on whipping the tears from her cheeks anymore. Suddenly, scaring her, there was a desperate knock on the door.

"Lauren!"

She didn't even get up.

"Lauren, please, open up!"

His knuckles hit desperately the door.

"Lauren, please!" he begged again.

"And your key?" was her ironical response. He didn't say anything for a few seconds, she could almost hear him breathing on the other side of the door.

"I've lost it." He finally explained.

She got up and went to the door dragging her feet. She opened it slowly, like if it was 7am and the newspaper man wanted her to pay what she owned him. Her face was still red from the previous moments.

"Don't you dare to say you're sorry one more time." She said with an emotionless tone.

"I love you." He told her out of breath, like if he was just getting from a marathon.

She snorted. It was offensive from him to tell her that after all the things he did. "You do? Then choose me." She snapped.

"I need time." He replied. He looked sad too, like if he was crying just as hard as her.

"Time?" she turned back and walked to the table, resting against it. "For what?"

"Time to make decisions." He explained, stepping inside of the apartment.

She tried to hold her strong position, but it was hard having that enormous desire of sobbing uncontrollably in her chest. "What decisions? You don't love me like you say. I'm not good enough for you."

"No." he contradicted instantly.

"That's what you think. That you'll get bored of me. I'm not what you're looking for, so, it's fine. I can't be what you want me to be. You need me to wear fishnets, and get drunk every night, and throw in your face the smoke of my cigarette? Then I'll be enough for you?" she spitted, yelling. She was getting into a subject that wasn't even her business but she didn't care, she needed to let it all go. Her words didn't have too much sense. Her face was red and covered in tears.

"No…" Darren walked to her. "No, Lauren. I love you for who you are. I'm a douche. I know I don't deserve you. Not after all the damage I did to you. But I don't think I can live without you." He gently gripped her face. "If you don't kick me in the groin, I want to ask you just to hold in there a little more. Please. It's going to be easier now. Tomorrow we are going to Chicago. I'm staying two days. Just you and me. We can be together and no one's going to say anything. Please?"

His voice sounded soft, kind.

One of the edges of the sword.

She shook her head, and answered with a broken voice, "I don't think I can."

She was afraid. Afraid of the other side of the sword.

He kissed her forehead and hugged her tightly. She started to cry again, looking for his neck. She vent on his chest, she wanted to be strong but didn't know if she could.

He didn't know why, but he started to sing her lullaby again, softly and quietly, but he couldn't keep his voice strong enough to hold a note. He was crying as well, with his arms wrapped around her; and she was shaking slightly. This time the song didn't sound as cozy as the first time, because his voice gave away his fear; fear for her, for them. He loved her and he knew she might wouldn't wait for him forever.

They felt the connection of that night with the first time they were together. Except it was cold, and the wind was ferocious, and the solitude was terrifying instead of protective. And the top of the world wasn't a great thing anymore. And she was shaking and he couldn't keep her warm.

* * *

**A/N: I am sorry? go listen to the songs again and cry yourself til death like me? :c btw reviews make me happy -3**


	7. Under my thumb

**A/N: Hi cuties I bring the next chapter although I'm not sure if it's ok**

**however I don't focus in HMB as well as there are some changes about it because it's not really relevant in this story. **

**The song at the end is Under my Thumb of the Rolling Stones, one of my favorite bands :) link on youtube- /watch?v=nYYTLJ8YHi4**

**There's also a Skins reference!**

**Warning: Smut and sex references because I'm a pervert**

* * *

**Chapter 7: Under my thumb**

Darren spent that night with her. He carried her to the bed, and it was only when they fell asleep on each other's arms when they found happiness in that day. On Sunday morning, Darren drove quickly to Liam's house to grab his luggage and they went to the airport just in time. The flight was amazing. Almost two hours in which Lauren snuggled up under his arm, and talked about how great she spent it in New York, although last night she couldn't remember all those moments. A part of her was really happy to come back home, to her house, her room, her bed; but another part of her was sad. She had been seeing Darren daily since he got there.

"I'll be back on Saturday to see you guys in Holy Musical Batman. If it's possible I'll stay the whole night. And then you'll go to NYC for the video. We are going to keep in touch, honey." He tried to cheer her up; he had his arm around her shoulders, and she was looking out the window, but turned her head back to him when he squeezed her. She grinned.

"You're right, I'm sorry." She replied, she was being too negative.

They've heard some giggles from the seat in diagonal to them; two teenage girls were glancing at them and whispering, excited about who they spotted. They were encouraging each other to go and say hello, thinking that they weren't discovered yet.

"I think I have some competition." Lauren muttered, smirking, and he just snorted.

It took them about five minutes to have the courage to walk to them. They had a paper and a pencil on their hands, they probably didn't have any other material with that utility in there, and they asked for Darren's autograph. He chatted with them a minute, while signing the papers; they asked how the new Glee episodes were and he just replied they probably were going to love it. They didn't even acknowledge Lauren. They went to their seats after thanking him, but they kept giggling for some minutes more.

When they landed in Chicago, they took a taxi and Lauren got out in hers and Julia's place; leaving Darren with a quick little kiss on the lips before Julia saw them. Then Darren went to Joe Walker and Jim Povolo's place, where he accorded to stay for that night along with Joey, who already got there last week. Dylan, on the other side, was staying at the Lang's house.

Lauren found out that Jaime had been staying in her room most of the time she was in New York, and they asked her if it was okay to live the three of them together; of course she couldn't be happier. But her opinion wouldn't have changed a lot having in mind that most of her stuff was already there. She had to share the room with her for now, but that was no problem. They greeted her with a big group hug and a delicious lunch she didn't have to work for. At 3pm they took a bus to rehearsal; they got in there a little late but nothing to worry about. She and Darren thought the best was to lead there separately, as they stated kept their mouths shout for now.

She gave a fond hello to everyone who she hadn't seen in a while, like Jim, Denise, Brian Rosenthal, the Lang brothers, Jeff Blim and Nico Ager. It took her while to adapt to the play, all of them already knew their places and barely glanced at their scripts. Luckily, Matt guided her well. Besides her part wasn't that big so she couldn't mess up a lot; she was given the role of a Commissioner.

Darren was in the other room working with the scenery's people and June Saito, he wanted to at least help a little with something. That'd be the first show he wouldn't be involved in and it was something new for him. But after a while he went to the rehearsal to spy a little. Apparently he got in there for the last song. All of the songs sounded good and… different. He felt weird having nothing to do in there, like if he was the spare dude. When they finished the first practice all way the play, they decided to have a break. Most of them just lay down on the floor, having a snack and drinking water, chatting between themselves. Meredith placed her head on Brian's lap; Joey and Jaime decided to go for a little frisk air outside; and Joe just laid down in the middle of the floor.

He was sitting down on the floor next to Chris Allen. Lauren approached him, and squatted to talk to him. The weather was completely different in Chicago; New York started to get hotter since last week, but in there it felt like full summer, although there was still autumn. She was wearing a leggings shorts and a tank top that fitted her perfectly; Darren remembered that because it was nice to see the usual comfortable Lauren again.

"You okay?" she asked softly, caressing his hair like petting him; noticing his slightly sad looks.

"I'm fine. It's just weird not having my guitar and rehearse with you guys." He explained. Lauren released a sad smile and sat down next to him too, grabbing his hand. He stroked hers softly, handing her a bottle of water. She accepted it and drank. "Hey, tell Clark the songs sound amazing, my biggest congratulations." He said to Chris with a smile.

"I will. But you know, he isn't the only one you should congratulate. And I'm not talking about HMB." He added, and winked. Some laughs were distant in the room.

"What do you mean?" he asked, intrigued, and no one responded.

"We aren't the correct people to tell" Denise finally explained, smiling suspiciously.

"Do you know something that I don't?" Darren asked to Lauren.

"I truly have no idea." She responded.

"Oh, God." Meredith was laughing so hard she had to hide her face with her hands. Then she stood up and dragged Brian in front of Darren and Lauren, and they sat down there so the rest of the gang wouldn't hear. They already knew, but she couldn't help to felt ashamed every time she had to tell the story. "Remember I told you we were going in a little trip to Las Vegas." She said. Lauren nodded. "Well, we wanted to do something to remember it. Not just an album of pictures, something crazy, something that we wouldn't normally do. And nothing came to us, so we kind of…"

"Got married." Brian snapped, seeing that Meredith was having some problems trying to explain it.

"You what?!" Lauren stunned Darren's ears, who grimaced. The couple was trying to not get the attention of the cast, but they turned back to them when they heard her striking tone of surprise. Most of them just laughed, noticing instantly what was happening.

"How do you kind of get married?" Darren asked.

"Well, we did get married, actually." Meredith was blushing. "At first I thought it was totally insane, because you know, you always have that idea of a fancy wedding and the families together and blah blah blah, but… The real meaning is to celebrate your love for another person, right? So we just did it." She shrugged, and Brian wrapped his arm around her shoulder, grinning.

"It is." Darren approved, squeezing Lauren's hand, without having anyone except her to notice it.

"You are still crazy!" Lauren said, she wasn't able to believe it yet. "But I guess I have to congratulate you guys now!"

She hugged first Meredith and then Brian; and Darren did the same.

"I owe you a wedding's gift." Lauren said to them, finally smiling. It was the most insane thing she heard on the past time if she wasn't in her actual situation; but they were absolutely lovely, and if they were happy then that was enough.

"Wedding gift? SHE owe US a bachelorette party." Denise interjected from her spot, apparently still offended by the selfishness of the current wife and husband.

"Alright, alright, enough gossip by there." Matt walked to Joe and slowly shook his head with his feet. "Joe, look for Joey and Jaime, let's practice all the way through from the top."

Rehearsal ended that day after the sunset. They knew after the sun went down outside would be more cold, so they put more clothes on and prepared all their bags and stuff to go. Lauren was trying to put everything she came within her bag, she put pants on and was pushing her other piece of clothes in.

"Hey," a soft voice approached her ear, and she felt the grip of two hands on her waist. "Is there any chance of sharing this night with my favorite lady?"

She giggled and continued preparing her stuff. "Watch your hands, there are people in here."

"Nobody's watching us." He said, but kept whispering on her ear. "What if you go and take a shower and chill out a little with your roommates, and then I sneak out into your room?"

"I'm sharing the room with Jaime." She uttered.

"Oh, no." he complained.

"And if I go to where you boys are staying? At Joe and Jim's, right?" she suggested.

"No way you are going alone at night." He replied with a serious tone. Some of them were walking through the door to go to their houses, so he put his hands away and started to speak to her as usual, just keeping their voices low.

"Then pick me up. After the boys are asleep, of course. Do you know if you'll have a… place?" Darren smiled. She was always so shy with that subject. But he didn't know if he'd have a room or even a bed for himself.

"I'll do what I can. And I'll have to take Joe's car. But I think it's possible, though. I'll pick you up close to midnight, is that fine?"

She nodded, they knew that was dangerous but they wanted to take advantage of that night to be together. Julia and Jaime approached them in that moment.

"Ready to go?" they asked her.

"Yeah." She replied, carrying her bag on her shoulder; and they walked to the door, Darren and the guys behind them.

"So, how's the New Yorker?" Jaime asked to Darren. "When are we going to hear something of that new album?"

"Whenever you can bring me a guitar" he responded, and she agreed to somehow bring a guitar to rehearsal next day if he could stay a while.

The girls had to go to the bus stop, although they repeated ten times they had no problem to drive them; and the boys split in different cars. Lauren said goodbye to him with a kiss on his cheek; and he frowned. He thought it was so weird. It was so weird having your cheek just kissed by someone who you already fucked with all the parts of your body.

Luckily, Joe and Jim's place was big enough and, after a rock-paper-scissors game, only Joey and Jim had to share a room. Darren stayed at a spare room they used like a house's deposit. They ordered a pizza and, when he thought they were going to sleep, a Batman's marathon started on TV. The boys cheered and fought for the spots on the couch. Darren remained still in the middle of the living room, with a beer in his hand.

"You okay, dude?" Joey asked to Darren. "It's Batman." He added, like if that wasn't a reason enough powerful to leave all your other responsibilities in life. The first movie was just starting.

"Yeah," he replied joining them, trying to chill. He glanced at his watch. It was already 11pm.

After just two minutes Joey's phone rang and he took it off his pocket.

"Tell your girlfriend we are dealing with important stuff now." Joe said, and he just laughed.

"So it is official?" Darren asked.

"Oh, you've missed a lot of things, pal." Jim patted his shoulder. "I am the only one single in this room."

"Joe too? Really?" Darren frowned.

Joey giggled. "You remember JoMo's sister, Sarah? Blonde, skinny, huge lips? Joe's giving it some use."

"Oh, you are a pervert." Darren accused, amused. "Does his brother know?"

"Of course not." He said, going to the fridge for a beer. "He's going to kill me. But I've already reached all the bases possible with her the last night I spent in New York. And she's coming to Chi this weekend. I think I can survive with some skype-sex until then."

"I don't think we need so many details." Jim interrupted, a little grossed out.

"No, we need." Joey stated, like if he was explain something too obvious. "I mean, it's disgustingly sick, but she's… she's kind of something." He stuttered. Everyone agreed that she was really hot, but she was still the sister of one of them. "How is she?" asked finally, intrigued. In a group of male friends so tight like them, it was obvious that if you were seeing someone, they'd ask you about the sex.

"She bangs like fairy on acid. If she wasn't so young I'd think it's for experience. But she told me she didn't have too much. However, I think I'm instructing her good." He smiled, probably remembering a previous experience. "We don't know if it's going to be serious, though, but maybe it will be. I really like her."

Joe wasn't the kind of serious relationships, so if he said he liked someone, it was important.

"And you?" Joe snapped Joey's hand, and his phone fell off.

"Hey." He complained, reaching it from the floor. They knew who he was texting. "What about me?"

"How is Jaime?" Joe asked straight to the point.

He stopped looking at the screen of his phone and directed his eyes to some lost point in front of them, grinning slightly. "Jaime, well, jeez. She is the kind of shy lovers who ask you to hit the lights, and go slow, and the next day remembers all those little things you didn't even notice you did. It's adorable. But, seriously, with her it's… the best sex I ever had, though."

"Awwww, how cute." Joe mocked him, and Joey slapped him on the back of his head.

"Shut up." And he went to his phone screen again.

"Darren, do you need an introduction to start?" Joe said.

"Hm. What do you need to know?" he sighed, drinking more of his beer.

"Well, I can guess Mia is a beast in the bed. Am I wrong?"

"I guess she is good." He just replied. If his definition of beast was about wanting rudeness and asking for some kinkiness he actually found ridiculous; then she was a beast, but that didn't mean necessarily a good thing.

He remembered Lauren. How she moaned at his touch, and how her eyes closed when she pressed her head back, and how her little hands started to shake when she was reaching the orgasm. She was amazing, but he'd never describe her as a beast. She was more like an angel. When her voice broke trying to scream his name, it was like a song from heaven to him.

"That's all? Good? At least tell us some of her kinky tastes." That was not enough for his friends. But he didn't even want to talk about it. Less now, that he was avoiding her without even realizing it.

"She tried to convince me for a threesome more than once." He finally admitted.

"Tried to convince you? And you didn't accept? You are crazy!" the boys booed instantly.

"I'm not into that stuff." He justified. He didn't even want to give explanations about that. It was stupid.

"Two women wanting you, yeah, that must be horrible." Jim answered ironically.

"I can't even look at you anymore." Joe added, shaking his head, enormously offended.

"You sleep with a girl who calls you the same way that his brother." He snapped, and Joe grimaced before whispering a _touché_.

"So, let's make a review from what we have." All of them were drinking but Joe's voice was already giving away his drunkenness. Darren laughed at his tone, "From this group, we know about Julia from Nick, about Meredith from Brian, about Denise from Dylan," they had a serious relationship but they decided to end it when he moved to Los Angeles, "and now about Jaime from Joey. The only one we don't know about is Lauren."

Darren choked a little with his beer, and he decided to put it away; if they were going to touch that subject it was better to stay sober.

"I think," Joey started, like if he was thinking deeply about something he didn't want to think. "I mean, she is my friend and I love her and all that, but I think she is not very good."

"Why?" Jim asked, intrigued.

"Well, we know about a very little amount of guys she dated. And I don't know; it's Lauren. The only thing I can imagine she does is complain and laugh. I don't picture her on the actual situation."

"Plus, she has small boobs." Joe added.

Darren was stabbing his nails on the arm of the couch. They had literally no idea what they were talking about. Just because she didn't fit with their image of sexy, didn't mean that she couldn't be sexy when she wanted; and he knew that very well.

"That's bullshit." He finally spit. He wasn't going to allow they talk about Lauren like that.

"How do you know?" Joey stopped typing on his phone to look at him with a raised eyebrow.

How could he explain how sexy were her pupils dilating when she looked at him, or her hands running through his hair, or how she always reached for his neck when he hugged her?

"I don't _know_, I'm just saying that you can't know either." He finally explained, frustrated.

"You made out with her, right? That had to hint you something." Jim guessed.

He couldn't talk about that. He couldn't tell about how he got crazy with the only thought of having her lips on his. He couldn't tell how he melted with the memory of her hands on him. He couldn't tell how his inside shook when feeling her breath against his mouth.

Even if he wouldn't have promised not saying a thing, he wouldn't. That was private and important for him. He didn't want to share it if they would take it as a standard to compare her.

He saw Joey put his phone in his pocket again, that meant Jaime went to sleep so he could start his plan. But he couldn't bring Lauren there. The boys were apparently staying up pretty much all night; and there was no way of going to the room without having them noticing it. He glanced at his watch, it was almost midnight. He would think what to do in the way to her house.

"Joe, can I borrow your car?" he asked, and he looked at him annoyed by the change of subject.

"Sure, but where are you going?" he pointed at the table where the keys were.

He stood up and grabbed them. "I'm going to buy some cigarettes."

"You don' even smoke." Joey said.

"Are you abandoning us? Now? But, what about the baby?" Joe mocked him.

Darren laughed and just got out of the house. He couldn't think in a better excuse, but he'd made up a better one after. Right then he didn't have time to lose.

* * *

"Lauren?" Jaime asked quietly. They were in her room in different beds with the lights off, both of them pretending they were sleeping. But Jaime was texting with someone on her phone; and Lauren to make easier to pretend she didn't see the phone's light, she was lying looking at the wall. Lauren had her phone on vibration mode on her bedside table.

"Yeah?" she answered, turning back.

"I just wanted to know if you were sleeping."

"I'm not really tired yet. And you? You're texting Joey, aren't you?"

She couldn't see her but knew she was blushing. "Yes." She didn't say anything for a few seconds. "Hey, you'll get mad at me if I ask you what happens between you and Darren?"

She laughed. "Did Julia send you?"

"Yeah, but I want to know too." She responded. Julia was the one to either push her or give her preaches, which worked really well by the way; but with Jaime she could say everything without being judged or having her to tell her what to do. Although she knew that didn't allow her to break the promise. "The last thing I've heard was that you hated him, and now I see you two holding hands in rehearsal."

"Well, we decided to just stay as friends. It's the best and more mature thing for everyone, right?" she replied.

"I guess."

Lauren's phone vibrated on the bedside table. She grabbed it and read _"Your neighborhood's dog is staring at me."_

She held her laugh as got up from the bed and told Jaime she was going to the bathroom; and said she better tried to sleep.

She put a jacket on before quietly sneaking out of the house, but it was actually hot outside. She ran to Joe's car.

"Hey." She greeted Darren, entering to the car.

"Hi, gorgeous."

She leaned further to kiss him. "Let's go before someone notices we're here."

"Uhm, there are some troubles with that. The boys are watching a Batman marathon and I don't think they are going to sleep soon."

"Then what do we do?" she asked.

"Can't we stay here?"

"Jaime's sleeping in my room."

"Shit." He said, resting his head on the seat. She sighed.

Darren looked at the back seat of the car, and then looked at Lauren. She frowned, offended.

"The back of a car? Really, Darren?"

He pulled her by the neck, forcing her to kiss him again. She wasn't expecting that. But she was right. She deserved so much more than that. He caressed her cheek and whispered:

"No. I have an idea."

She didn't ask. He drove first to a gift shop. He told her to wait there and he got back with a big bag, and didn't let her to see what was inside. She was really intrigued. He kept driving until they weren't in the middle of Chicago anymore. They were near a road, but not really far away of the center of the city either. There was any soul in there, the only sound were the crickets and the motor of a car in the distance.

He got out of the car, carrying the bag by the handless, and opened the door for her. She left her jacket in the car (it was hot after all) before stepping outside, and he offered his hand. She smirked before taking it, where was he leading her? He dragged her to the back of a building; actually, some long gates. Then she recognized that place.

"No, no, no. You are crazy." She didn't know if she should be amused or scared, she was both in that moment.

It was the public swimming pool. They used to go there a long time ago. It was a huge and nice pool, but they closed at 8pm. Now all the lights were off and no one was in there.

"Come on, it's okay." He assured, walking to the gate.

"No, it's not okay!" she said. Her jaw dropped as he started to climb the gates. She thought an alarm bell would have sounded by then, but nothing happened, all silence. He looked at her from the top of the gates, and offered his hand again. "Are you expecting me to commit a crime with you?" she was really offended.

"It's a public pool."

"It's closed now for a reason. We aren't supposed to be here. What if there's a security guard, or an alarm, or someone see us?" she crossed her arms, she wasn't going anywhere and less going to climb a gate.

"There's no alarm or bodyguard, there never was, this is Chicago. And nobody's going to see us." He said totally sure of his words, still with his hand stretched to her. "It's going to be amazing and we are not going to get into troubles. Do you trust me?" he finally asked.

She rolled her eyes. Unluckily, she did.

She accepted his hand and he helped her to climb the gate. It was a little difficult having in mind her height, but he held her tightly with his strong arms when she got to the top, to make sure she wouldn't fall. He looked at him to the eyes, and shook her head slowly, but smiling.

"You are a criminal." She objected. There was a little wind in there, but as usual he fixed her hair.

Then he helped her to step inside the lieu, and he jumped after her, with his bag in hand.

"What do you have in there?" she tried to spy inside, but he put it away.

"You'll see."

He pulled her by the waist and they walked through the path to the pool. Lauren felt like she was going through the romantic adventure she didn't have when she was a teenager. The water was peaceful, but the place was a little scaring because there were absolutely no lights. Darren realized that too, but he had everything prepared.

"Wait here." He muttered, walking to the pool. She waited a few feet away.

He put his paper bag on the floor, and grabbed a packet of candles and a lighter from it. Lauren frowned, trying to discover what he was doing. He started to light every candle and put it carefully at the edge of the pool, and another one next to her, and another one, and another one. The night was perfectly quiet, so all of the lights kept shining. She smiled widely when he covered all the contour of the pool with those little shines; they didn't totally light up the environment it was truly a beautiful sight. Then Darren took a pair of fake roses from the bag, they were probably part of a bouquet from the gift shop; and destroying the flowers, threw the petals on the edges of the pool, between the candles.

He grabbed his phone from his pocket and after picking some selections on it, he put it on the floor too. Then he turned back to her, shrugging, like saying "That's all I got," and the song _This_ started playing distant on his phone.

"You deserve something better, but this is all I can offer to you tonight. I'm sorry." He said, but approached her when he saw her watery eyes. "No, baby, don't cry, I didn't want to-"

She shook her head, she wanted to say something but she thought nothing would be beautiful enough. The tears were falling from her eyes but she wasn't sad. He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close, and she cried a little more on his neck.

"You are amazing." She just told him. She knew a miserable land would look magnificent next to him.

She loved him so much.

He smiled, cleaning her tears with his thumbs. He carried her next to the pool.

"You ready?" he said.

"I don't have a bath suit in here." She replied.

"There's a solution to that." He smirked, raising an eyebrow.

"I'm not going to swim naked, you pervert." Lauren laughed.

"Pity, then all of this is in vain." She punched him on the arm, and he laughed too. "Come on."

He took off his shirt and pants, but he left his underpants before jumping on the swimming pool. She could tell he had been working hard in the gym lately. The light of the candles shook a little because of the water he splashed, but all of them keep shining. His head popped out of the water after some seconds, and he walked to the edge of the pool. His hair was all wet, and drops of water were falling down his face.

"Come with me. The water is perfect."

She smiled and then took off her shirt and short jeans. She felt a little uncomfortable just in her underwear, but she knew it was just until she got into the pool. Unlike Darren, she chose the stairs. She went slowly down the little stairs until the water covered her shoulders. He was right, the water was perfect.

He just stared at her when she was approaching him, she was so beautiful. He dived into the water and went to the deepest place of the pool. Then he extended his arms, inviting her to come.

"I don't know how to swim." She confessed, ashamed, from her place.

"Really?" he started to walk slowly to her again. "But you were a gymnast."

"I didn't take that class…" she added shyly.

"It's okay, I'll show you how." He said, getting close to her. "Do you know at least how to float?"

She shook her head.

"Okay, we'll start with that. You'll have to lie down and I'll hold your back with my arms." He explained. "You need to spread out your arms, and try to get your body as straight as you can without being frigid. But you have to be relaxed. Don't worry, I'm not letting you go. You ready?" he asked putting a hand on her waist. Lauren bit her lip, nervous. "Hey. Do you trust me?" he repeated. He had that tone of voice that she couldn't just say no.

"Yeah." She finally said, and she laid her back down. Darren held his back under the water, feeling her naked skin. He could see her tummy growing and getting flat again, along with her breath. "You're making me tickles." She added, trying to not move, but smiling. He smiled too.

"I am not." He contradicted. Her clothes were wet and he could pretty much see through her bra; but tried to focus in another thing right then or he wouldn't be able to control himself. She had her eyes closed and her face relaxed. Her hair was being spread for the water. She always looked so precious at the light of the moon. "I am going to put my arms away. Breath deep. Okay?" he added quietly.

"Okay." She responded, and he slowly left her go.

"You owned it." He congratulated her, as she softly floated on the water. "You can now float to China."

When she cracked into laughs, her belly shook; and Darren, fearing she would swallow some water, trapped her quickly with his arms.

"I got you" he whispered, wrapping her tightly.

"You always do." Lauren replied.

He landed her again, and kissed her on the lips, slowly at first. He pushed her to the walls of the pool and put his arms on every side of her, letting her no escape. Darren looked at her. Her hair was all wet. He pressed his forehead against her, and she moved her nose to feel his. But when he leaned forward to kiss her one more time, he hit his head with the wall of the pool.

"What the-?" he cursed, but it was too late.

Lauren had dipped into the water, sneaked out underwater from his arms, and swam gracefully to the other side of the pool, moving her body with a perfect glide stroke.

"You little liar!" he yelled to her, "You told me you didn't know how to swim!"

She broke onto laughs, completely amused. Being an actress, after all, had its perks.

The only reason he wasn't mad it was because he loved the sound of her laughs. He tried to follow her to that side of the pool, but when he got there she was already in a different place. Damn she must have taken all those classes. She moved her hips back and forth in a wavy movement to slither under the water.

When he finally trapped her, he was totally out of breath. He wrapped his arms around her body, who tried to get off again, but he was determined to catch her this time.

"You are mine now." He said, imitating the voice of a monster.

She couldn't control her laugh when he gripped her legs with strength, and carried her through the water.

"Let me go!" she asked, punching him in the back with her little fists.

"Never." He said with his faked monster tone.

Then he landed her again but didn't let his grip weaker. He looked directly at her, causing her to stop laughing.

He took her jaws and kissed her softly. She kissed back right away.

"Thank you." She breathed. "For everything."

He leaded his hands to her waist and pulled her close, feeling her body against him. She just gave him that feeling, when he hugged her, that felt right.

She ran her hands through his wet chest, feeling the muscles he had been working on the last months. Then she intertwined her fingers behind his neck, and looked at him to the eyes.

He carried her a few feet and rested her on the stairs of the pool; restarting the kiss. She was anxious, her hands kept pushing him closer and she arched her back to feel him more, causing him a despair she wasn't probably aware of. He breathed deeply into her mouth; she didn't want to stop the kiss so he didn't too many options. His hands ran through her back, feeling her naked wet skin. Her breath caused the movement of her backbone and he could feel it perfectly.

He softly grabbed her head, and licked the rest of water drops on her cheek, running his tongue through it. She let out a little laugh, and tangled her hips behind him, pulling him closer. He slightly thrust against her, and she gasped; her inside tickling. She could already feel his parts getting hard, and knew she was the reason. Then she leaned forward and started to suck his neck; passing her hands through his back, teasing him temptingly.

"Lauren…." He groaned, putting his hands on her bum and grinding softly against her. He wanted to feel her, even through their underwear, she just felt too right. How could someone think she was not sexy?

She started to move her hips along with him, and he closed his eyes, trying to hold back. He knew she could feel his hardness, and he just felt so close already.

Lauren kissed him on the lips again, grinding harder and harder in so little time, and holding his hips to move faster. How could she lead him to the top so fast?

"Baby, if you don't stop I'm going to…" he couldn't finish his phrase. Lauren didn't stop. She loved to see him like that; his frowned sight, his breath every time faster…

His cock started to shake as he came with a powerful thrust, clasping his nails on Lauren's butt so hard he feared to hurt her. She felt so good giving him that level of pleasure; she just looked at him while he finished. She could feel his shakiness and that gave her a lot of pleasure too.

He kissed her softly, catching his regular respiration again. He stroked her tummy, playfully; and he was about to slip his hand inside of her underwear; but he heard a well-known chord and smiled.

"Hear." He whispered. She recognized the beginning of the song, playing distant in his phone.

Darren started to sing along, imitating Mick Jagger's voice, as he used to do to make her laugh.

"_Under my thumb _

_The girl who once had me down _

_Under my thumb _

_The girl who once pushed me around"_

She pressed her forehead against his, joining his fake but hilarious imitation. They sang ridiculously and passionately loud.

"_It's down to me _

_The difference in the clothes she wears _

_Down to me, the change has come, _

_She's under my thumb _

_Ain't it the truth, babe?"_

And she knew. She was under his thumb and he was under hers.

Some people would tell that wasn't right. Some feminists would say Lauren to fight for her freedom; she didn't need to have anyone managing her emotions. But she had freewill. She could control what to do with her heart, and she chose gave it to him.

Because some loves are like that. It's either nothing or everything. It's either struggling every day with a killing pain of a broken heart, or it's giving everything, including you.

* * *

**A/N: Reviews make me happy? love you -3**


	8. Baby it's raining outside

**A/N: Hiii angels, well the story might seem a little redundant by this point, but I'm settling the land for the next events so please be patient!**

**The song played by Darren is Reckless Serenade, by the Arctic Monkeys, and this is the acoustic version in youtube /watch?v=PY2FQ-LgmYo**

**Warning: oh surprise, it has a little of smut? Nothing out of this world but yes**

**I hope you laugh a little :)**

* * *

**Chapter 8: Baby, it's raining outside**

The next day, Lauren was resting her body against the wall of the studio; feeling the weight of her eyelids begging to close her eyes, and trying to balance that hideous sensation with a cup of hot coffee. Last night was splendorous, and she wouldn't forgot never about it; but she wished she had more time to sleep. Rehearsal was about to start as soon as the Langs finished some last changes of the play, meanwhile the gang was reunited sitting down on the floor, talking and waking each other's up. Jaime fulfilled her promise and somehow got a guitar for Darren. Lauren was separated from the group, she didn't fully wake up yet and they were too noisy for her at that time of the morning. After Darren tuned the guitar for his chords, he explained:

"Well, I recorded this song twice, one acoustic version and one with the band. I'm probably going to keep them both for the album because I like them."

"This is the one you're releasing the single for, right?" Meredith asked, she was sitting down ahead Brian and he had his arms around her. They were really cute.

"Yep" he just answered. "This is the one that will have a very special video." None of the others noticed a thing, but he quickly winked at Lauren. She slowly shook her head, she only told her roommates about that video so most of the group wouldn't know; but she smiled slightly.

The soft first chords echoed, as usual, distantly but so close at the same time.

_Topless models doing semaphore_

_Wave their flags as she walks by_

_And get ignored_

_Illuminations on a rainy day_

_When she walks her footsteps sing a reckless serenade_

His voice always had that analgesic effect that relaxed her. It was the first time she heard that song, although she knew the video version would be different, but for some reason Darren waited until that moment to have her hearing it.

_I've been trying to figure out exactly what it is I need_

_Called up to listen to the voice of reason_

_And got the answering machine_

Relevant to their situation? Probably.

_The type of kisses where teeth collide_

_When she laughs, the heavens hum a stun-gun lullaby_

_Those twinkling vixens with the shining spiral eyes_

_Their hypnosis goes unnoticed when she's walking by_

How lucky she was that the group was enough far away from her; so they couldn't feel the hot that was going through her face, or see the blush on her cheeks. Darren sang passionately but looking at his guitar, like usual, but occasionally he directed quick glances at her.

_I've been trying to figure out exactly what it is I need_

_Called up to listen to the voice of reason_

_And got his answering machine_

_I left my message, but did he fuck get back to me_

_And now I'm stuck, still wondering how it's meant to be_

She couldn't help but giggling a little. The contradictory, ironic way he sang it was even funny. Probably the others didn't get the actual meaning of the song, and just enjoyed its harmony, but she did. It was a beautiful song.

_Singing a reckless serenade_

_Reckless serenade_

_Reckless serenade_

_Reckless serenade_

The gang cheered and clapped between meaningless jokes about the album and Darren's briefly music success. She just stayed in her spot, drinking what it was left of her coffee; she knew she could say her thoughts about the song later. He smiled, putting the guitar in its case.

"That's all?" Jaime complained, sad.

"I have to go before Matt kills me for stealing your rehearsal time." He excused.

"No problem." Matt assured, even though he was waiting for him to be done to start with the practice.

"No, really, I have to go, my taxi is probably waiting outside." He explained, standing up.

"What? This soon?" Brian asked.

He just shrugged, like his way of saying he was sorry. But they knew he had his reasons.

"See you guys this Saturday" he greeted the group, grabbing his suitcase from one side of the room, and wishing them good luck in the practice. Matt took advantage of this action and pushed the cast to start with the rehearsal, which gained a lot of energy from the previous music so they started right away. Darren just directed to Lauren one sad half smile when walking by.

She left her cup on the dustbin, and noticing that everyone was focused on the practice, she slowly sneaked out by the front door. Darren was putting his suitcase in the trunk of the taxi, and the taxi driver waiting impatiently inside the car. She ran to him.

He closed the trunk with a loud sound, and looked at her. She wanted to at least go with him to the airport but knew she had to give her best at rehearsal, they were 6 days from the show and she was the most delayed one memorizing her lines.

"I just wanted to say goodbye." She explained awkwardly. She felt like a 15 year old. But he just smiled.

"I'm going to be back soon." He assured, putting his arms around her waist and pulling her closer.

"I know." She put her fists on his chest.

"Nobody's looking." He whispered with a smirk. The guys were inside the studio and the street was deserted.

She stood up on her tiptoes to reach him, and gave him a kiss on the lips. His hands squeezed a little her clothes before letting her go.

"See you soon?" she breathed, rubbing his neck.

"See you soon." He repeated lowly, as she walked away. She ran to enter to practice before the others realized she was gone.

* * *

The next days were good for both of them. They did miss each other, but they needed a little break. Lauren needed to put her feet back on earth, and the only way to do that was working hard in rehearsal and coaching sessions. She usually texted Darren those days but not regularly, she knew he was busy. Darren finished in Friday with the shooting, and Saturday morning with recording; so he was pretty much free until the music video which would have place the next week. He made sure to spend enough time with Mia those days to have her happy and not feeling so guilty leaving that weekend.

For Lauren, living with her two best friends was making her situation way more bearable. Yes, she felt jealous when Julia was hanging out with her boyfriend or Jaime had a date with Joey, because she wanted something like that. A relationship with no worries, fears or guiltiness. But she was able to keep herself busy.

The whole team worked really hard to get all the ensemble and scenery on time; but luckily everything was settled perfectly for that day. The premiere went with no problems, the show was good and the crowd seemed to have a great time. When she got out of the dressing room she was bumped up by fans, so she stayed for autographs and pictures and a little of talking. The rest of the cast apparently walked out by the other door and she didn't realize so they had a disencounter; she was alone and she was having a hard time trying to walk by the fans without being rude. She finally found Jeff, who was looking for her. She followed him as he started explaining:

"We're going to Brian and Meredith's house, and Julia asked me to drive you two there, so she's waiting in my car."

"Sure, thanks." She replied, before drinking a little from her bottle of water. They stopped when a fan with a camera on hand asked them to greet a friend who couldn't go; and then they went to Jeff's car.

She took a place on the back sit of the car, with Julia; and he started to drive.

"It was good, wasn't it?" Julia said, proud of themselves.

"It was good." Lauren agreed. She lowered her voice. "Have you seen…?"

"Your boyfriend? Yeah, I've seen him." she added jokingly. "He got here just like two hours before the show."

Like always, every time she mentioned him it seemed like he could sense it. Her phone vibrated. It was a text from Darren, asking where she was. She replied she was going to Brian and Meredith's house; and he answered he'd see her there. What a bummer she couldn't have seen him yet; she was even expecting him to visit before the show.

You could see Meredith's taste in the new house. It was adorable. You could see the building was meant to host a family, so the place was big. And no pool tables in the sight. It was still a little empty in some places, but it was decorated in a wonderful way.

The host couple called for a pizza and put some music on, as the cast and friends were stepping in. The play went good so all of them were in a very good mood, celebrating and chatting; but the thing wouldn't last all the night because most of them were really tired. When Darren walked in with Joey, she just greeted him with a smile. He updated the news with the rest of the group for a while. Lauren sat down in one of the coaches of the living room, taking a soda of the table. Julia's boyfriend joined the meeting, and she was introducing him to Denise, Jeff, and Chris. Nico, Joe and Jim were laughing their asses off with some other friends of Chicago. Jaime and Joey were (What a surprise) momentarily disappeared. She spotted Meredith, the Nicks, Sarah Petty, and more; the house was totally crowded.

It went some time until Darren greeted her properly with a hug and a kiss on the cheek. It could have been more properly, but he knew she wasn't going to approve that.

"You were amazing." He just said, sitting on the arm of the couch and with a beer on hand.

"Thank you." She took a breath- "I thought you were bringing your girlfriend." She couldn't help to touch the subject, she just couldn't help it.

Darren sighed. "Do you really want to talk about it?"

She looked down. He poked her nose to make her forget about it, and she tried to not laugh but it was in vain with that guy.

"But seriously now, I'm staring at this woman like 10 minutes ago. Isn't her from your play in NYC?" he asked lowly, discretely pointing at a middle-aged woman who was chatting with Brian. She recognized her.

"She's Alice, the director of my play... Am I right?" she asked to herself, confused. She developed a very good relationship with that woman within her time at New York, she talked to her about Starkid and everything, but didn't know she would be there, and less in the premiere party.

She got up and walked to that woman; leaving Darren cursing inwardly. Finally he got to talk to her and a distraction appeared in the way.

"Hey, Alice, what a surprise to see you here!" she said approaching her. The always classy blonde shook her hand. It didn't matter how tight you were to her, she was always greeted you like that.

"Hello, darling! I actually came here to talk with you." She explained. Apparently Brian knew her somehow, (They've worked together or something) and that's why he let her in, but she actually wanted to meet her.

"What?" she just asked, confused.

They both went to the hallway, a little away from the noise of the people and the music of the living room; so they could talk more comfortably.

"I have great, great news for you." Her face irradiated shine. Lauren wondered what could be to have her mentor so excited.

"What it is about?"

"People from a new theatre contacted me. They saw the play the other day and they loved you and they want you to do an audition." Alice's face was shining every time more.

"What is it for?" that was surprising.

"I'm so afraid I can't tell you until you present yourself. Please, go to New York the sooner you can. They need to see you alone and complete. Prepare something good, two performances, I was thinking you should chose two completely different songs to show off well. The results depend on the audition and what they think of it. But if everything goes as I think, it's going to be really great."

"Why do you keep so many secrets? What's going on?" she asked, intrigued. Why she couldn't be told about it? "That's weird!"

"They don't want you to get your hopes up before time, because they're not sure yet. But if it's meant to be, it's gonna be very, very huge. Trust me." She just replied.

"Well, thank you, Alice, for scaring me like hell. I'm going to New York the next weekend." She wasn't so sure about that audition yet. It was strange.

"Prepare two performances and go to the Theatre when you have time. Text me and I'll tell the judges." She referred at the same theatre of Les Misèrables.

"I am scared, but thank you, I'll practice." She replied, and they walked to the living room again. "You didn't have to come here to tell me that!"

"I had to." Alice blushed. She was definitely keeping some secrets to herself. "But I needed to see your play too, though. Pretty funny! I might have to steal some of your ideas." So she saw Holy Musical Batman. She was obviously surprised and amused about it, but she was such a classy woman, it was logical she wasn't completely into it.

"Well, thanks and, you are allowed!" Lauren joked.

When they got back to the noise and the chatting; they joined a little group formed by Meredith, Brian, Dylan and Darren. Dylan was telling a hilarious story happened backstage at the last show, and everyone broke into laughs when he finished. Lauren used that opportunity to introduce Alice to Dylan and Darren, who didn't know her. She knew Darren's face because of How to Succeed in Business Without Really Trying; but that was the first time they actually talked with each other.

Near an hour later, Lauren was trying to keep herself awake hearing an anecdote of Daniel Strauss of which she already lost the line, who was next to her on the couch. She yawned, covering her mouth with a hand. She stood up, Daniel was too focused on his story to even realize; and walked to the bathroom to wash her face or do something about her sleepy looks. Darren was just stepping out of the bathroom when she was walking by.

He laughed slightly at her looks. "Do this Sleeping Beauty wants me to drive her to her house?"

She raised an eyebrow. "Do you have a car in here?"

He opened his mouth but closed it again, trying to found a well deserved get back to that. "I can ask Joe for his."

"How attractive." She replied, walking into the bathroom and washing her face with a little of water. He stayed standing up on the door, looking at her; so she responded. "I can't go without Julia and Jaime, though. And I think they are thinking about staying here a while."

"Julia's boyfriend can drive them. But they are staying more time?" he asked, suspicious.

"Yeah." She whipped her face with a towel.

"That means there's nobody in your house, right?" he smirked, crossing his arms.

Lauren chuckled. "You are unbelievable." But she got closer to ask. "Don't you think it's too obvious if we leave together?"

"I'll say I'm sharing the taxi with you just to go to the store to buy cigarettes. They won't suspect." He explained. It was always his backup plan.

"What? You don't smoke."

He snorted. "That's… that's irrelevant."

She didn't know how, but his plan worked successfully. Again. She called a taxi, clamming she had a terrible migraine, ignoring Julia saying she didn't have a problem to go with her.

When they got to her house, they went directly to her bedroom (after Lauren took off her sneakers, because it was always the first thing she did after getting home). Darren sat down on her bed, glancing at the new changes since the last time he was there (And that was a long time ago). There was another bed for Jaime, and it was like the room had its two sides: one for Lauren and the other for Jaime. The blue and white curtains of the window were definitely picked by Lauren. She was incredibly clean and neat; the theme of some of her stuff seemed to be from a teenager and some of the other hinted a classy serious adult. She had some pictures on her bedside table; some with Julia, with her parents when she was younger, and others with the team. He smiled when he found himself on a portrait.

"Stop looking at them." She said closing the door, and walking to him. She looked lovely all dressed and with her little colored socks on.

"Why? They are adorable." He replied, and she shrugged.

"It makes me nervous."

"You have something to hide, Lopez?" he raised an eyebrow.

She rested her knees on the bed, putting her legs at each side of his body; and she sat down on his lap. He grabbed her waist to pull her closer, and looked at her in the eye.

"It depends. What do you want to know?" she started, playing with the short curls on the top of his forehead.

"Do you love me?" he asked quietly, close to her ear, before starting to spread soft kisses on her earlobe and going through her cheek.

"Yes." She answered, closing her eyes when feeling his lips against her skin. She ran her hands through his back, squeezing his shirt and lifting it up.

"Would you listen to me sing… even if I sucked?" he went for her neck. She smiled slightly, dropping her head back.

A splash, quiet at first but growing at every second, informed them that started to rain outside.

"Even if you sounded like ABBA." She replied, slowly taking off his shirt.

He kissed her on the lips, slowly but passionate, pulling her the closest he could. She kissed back instantly.

"Would you laugh of my jokes even if they were shit?" he said, taking a lock of hair off her face.

"I already do." Lauren commented serious. "I'm kidding." She added, seeing the offended look on his face.

She kissed his cheek.

"And if I were a dwarf who lives in a cave and has a 6 feet hideous beard?" He continued, taking off her shirt and softly caressing her nude back.

"I'd put you a strap and carry you everywhere." She stated. "Now shut up."

She tangled her arms around him and crashed her lips against his. He somehow managed to rest her on the bed without letting her go. The rain was now a storm under development.

His tongue explored her mouth rapidly, shameless, like a rascal. She felt her breath heavier, her chest started to move up and down; he could feel her breasts against him. His hand lifted up her skirt completely. He was completely naughty that day.

He took off his jeans and placed again within her legs, kissing her again and tangling his fingers between her hairs. She felt his weight on her; and tried to moan but Darren's mouth didn't allow it so she kept breathing intensely against his lips.

She couldn't help her desire. She slowly sneaked one hand through her belly, down her crumpled skirt, trying to get under her underwear… but his hand stopped her.

"That's my area, Lopez." He said while putting her hand away.

She always found so funny when he called her like that.

His lips were barely touching hers, when his hand went down and took the place where hers was a second ago, taking off her skirt, but (this just didn't go unnoticed to him; he even made it on purpose) she left her little colored socks on.

He slowly sneaked his hand down her underwear; and Lauren bit her lip.

She could see how dilated his eyes were. He had a look so ferocious, but sensual at the same time. He pressed his fingers against her, and this time she let go a loud moan, closing her eyes and pressing her head against the pillow.

His hands were experts. The game of his fingers around and inside her were delicious; she was melting inside. Her hands were shaking, and she couldn't stay still, even though he tried to keep her like that with his body, it wasn't possible, the spasms controlled her.

She grabbed his neck and kissed him violently. Then, when he was just getting into his favorite part; Lauren shushed him rudely. He put his hand away, due the surprise.

"Listen." She said.

"What? It's only the rain."

"Shhh!" she shushed him again. "No, listen."

He tried to hear something but at first it didn't work. But after a moment he was able to listen to some distant voices, probably at the sidewalk.

"Shit! That's Julia and Jaime." Lauren said, with her most apocalyptic voice. They probably went home earlier because of the storm approaching. She stood up immediately, pushing him in the way. "You need to go."

"How do you want me to go? They are in the only door of the house." He said, relatively calmed sitting down on the bed. Lauren, on the other hand, was freaking out.

"I don't know! But you need to go! Now!" She sounded like she was screaming but she was keeping her voice low, otherwise they'd hear them. Jaime could walk in at any moment.

Then she looked at him like if a brilliant idea occurred to her. She walked to the window, and while she was opening it, Darren headed up to her:

"No, no, no. Are you serious? It's fucking raining outside." He complained, standing up and now freaking out too.

"Have another idea, Criss?"

"What if we just tell..?" he suggested, but stopped his sentence while looking at Lauren's expression. "Okay, not that. But I really can't go-" They heard the front door opening. "Fuck."

Lauren, acting like if someone had injected adrenaline to her; quickly picked up all of his clothes and threw them at him.

"I can't at least get dressed?" he whispered.

"No! Hurry up!" she ordered. There was absolutely no time left. He took his shirt and pants and looked for a moment the hideous, intense storm going outside before jumping by the window.

It was only needed a second to have him completely wet from head to toes, the raindrops were huge and constant. Then she felt sorry for him.

"I love you." She finally said, as her way of saying sorry. She didn't know whether to laugh or cry. He'd have to walk by her neighbor's garden to find the street and look for a way to get back to Joe and Jim's place.

"Yeah, right." he spitted, annoyed.

She grabbed his jaws and kissed quickly his wet lips.

"Do you know if your neighbor's dog bites or…?" before she could answer, she heard through the sound of the storm some steps getting closer. She violently pushed his head to have him bending over the window frame; that way he wouldn't get noticed by a confused Jaime who just walked in.

"Lauren, what are you doing?" she asked, intrigued, walking to her bed and sitting down. Jaime was frowning and trying to figure out that weird image.

"I just wanted to see the rain." She replied, looking down and spying Darren carefully sneaking out by the neighbor's place, all wet and puddly and with his clothes in hand.

"In your underwear?" Jaime asked even more intrigued, taking off her shoes and letting out a sigh of relief then.

"Yeah." Lauren closed the window and put her pajamas on, trying to pretend nothing happened, but knowing that was impossible.

She was already worried for him, but she had no choice.

"Are you high?" Jaime said.

She laughed nervous and awkwardly; taking her phone and texting an apologize for leaving an international celebrity in his underwear all alone in the storm; as she whispered: "I wish."

* * *

**A/N: Reviews make me the happiest person in the world**


	9. Something along the way got wrong

**A/N: Soooo here is the next chapter and I hope you enjoy and lose your minds at the end but review me because that's nice and I get happy ? Thanks love you.**

* * *

**Chapter 9: Something along the way got wrong**

Lauren didn't see Darren until the next Friday. His plane arrived early on Sunday after that unfortunate event, because he had a reunion with the Record Studio to start settling up the final ideas for the music video. Recording would have place in Friday. Lauren got in New York on Thursday at night. She stayed up in Louis' place, in temporal Darren's room. At first she was scandalized by that idea, but Darren assured his friend wouldn't assume things, and if he did he wouldn't tell anyone. He always left Darren's private life like what it was, private. He knew Darren had his stuff and he wouldn't mess with it. Plus, Lauren took control of the kitchen and he and his stomach couldn't complain of it. A light delicious dinner had place before finishing what she and Darren started that other rainy day.

The recording would take all of Friday's. Starting very early at morning; they went to the Stylist's place. Before Lauren could say a thing, someone took her to a Beauty Parlor and sat her down in a chair; and a group of people surrounded her and started to whisper to each other, like if she was just furniture they need to fix for a one-day event.

"We need to do something about those big eyes." One of them commented.

"I think those shiners are what concern us the most." A woman contradicted, highly worried.

"Lips too thin…"

She curled up a little bit on her chair, feeling her ears starting to burn. How many things could be wrong about her body?

"We can't do a lot of changes, remember. We need to keep her as what she is." Another complained.

What she was, wow, at least that was a little comforting.

The group took care of her makeup and did her hair. She left out a sigh of relief after some extenuating minutes; she was afraid of looking like a secondhand prostitute after that, but luckily when she looked at the mirror she was still her, and (plus) she looked pretty. The mean, but effective group of stylists really knew what they were doing. After that challenge, a woman picked up some clothes for her; that was her favorite part, she loved clothes and definitely loved those. A black tight tank top, a beige leather jacket with some studs on; red leggings and black ankle boots for her feet. It was a nice choice; she was starting to have confidence in that people.

Darren could only bit his lip when saw her walking outside the salon again. She blushed as he directed her those looks, knowing he was doing it on purpose.

"Why they didn't do anything to you?" she complained.

"The band scene is after lunch. Now you will be the only one that matters." He explained, and she didn't know whether to feel flattered or not.

She spent a good morning. The camera group was nice; the director kept making silly jokes and she was having fun. And Darren was there; he occasionally made some corrections or had some talking with the director to have the final effect he wanted to; and he couldn't help but smiling at her when things were going as he wished.

In the first scene she had to walk through a street when the lights were green, and the cars stopped to let her walk and she had to act like if nothing happened. It scared her a little but she could handle it. The staff had to cut the traffic in that street; luckily they already did the arrangements to be able to do that.

Then she had to stop at a music store, checking albums; and when she finally picked the one she wanted to, the seller, in an attempt to flirt with her didn't let her pay and just gave the album to her; but she just laughed and walked away with the CD. Then she just had to do a lot of random things; petting a "strange" dog in the street, playing to walk on the same line of mosaics, reading a magazine in a shop; always alone. She had fun, although it got a little tedious after a while; being told what to do and repeating it for another angle of the camera. When the director announced they finished, her and the camera group cheered and clapped a little. Darren went to break the scene to kiss her forehead and give her a hug.

"Thank you" he said, smiling; like if they were in college and she was just doing another favor to him by sharing her homework.

She messed with his hair as whispered, "You're welcome."

They all drove to the band's scene set, a few blocks from there. They had a little lunch (Darren bought some sandwiches while she was at the salon), before the stylists take him away from her. He got back along with the rest of the band, wearing a blue T-shirt, a suit jacket and black jeans. His hair wasn't straightened or with gel, but they obviously did something to it because it was a lot neater. He looked really good; but she wouldn't tell him.

Brad walked to her and asked how the morning shooting was. He always had that kind of charming talking. She replied she was having a lot of fun; when Darren interrupted him.

"Do we start?" he asked, but that sounded more like an order; and patted Brad on the shoulder a little harder than what he should. Darren was playing the main guitar and with a stand microphone; Brad was in the second guitar; Louis in the bass and David in drums.

Someone got a chair for Lauren and she stayed to watch the shooting of the band part, which would be mixed with her parts later. The boys did their best and played the song for real a few times; although they kept messing up and laughing and having a good time. She enjoyed seeing such a good group and a perfect mix of talent in those young boys.

When the staff could finally disassemble all the scenery; it was already dark, so they decided just to go back to Louis'. Lauren had her audition early the next day and she wanted to be perfect for it. She cooked dinner for both of the guys and then she and Darren went to his room.

"Brian and Meredith are coming for Sunday" he announced, leaving his phone on his bedside table. He and Louis were hosting a little meeting that day.

"Well, Julia is coming too." Lauren replied, putting her pajamas on. She couldn't know she stayed in the same room as Darren's for two nights, so she reserved a room in a hotel to share with her since Saturday and to stay until Monday morning.

"Walker didn't confirm anything yet." He said taking off his clothes and slipping into the bed.

"I'm sure he is coming too." Lauren assured; if Sarah was there, Joe would be there for sure. "Why are you so worried about them coming?" she asked, lying next to him. He shrugged, wrapping an arm around her and pushing her a little closer. She knew that was probably the last weekend he would spend in New York, although it was not settled up yet; but something else was in there.

"Nothing, it's just that it seems the right time, don't you think?"

She looked at him. He had a new kind of shine in his eyes. "Right time for what?"

"Well, I was thinking… maybe we could finally tell the guys we are together. I mean, it's been a while, right?"

Lauren blinked a few times to make sure she wasn't dreaming. Did Darren want to formalize? That was definitely a big step. Now that he finally said it, like that, she didn't know what to think. "Are you sure you want that? And Mia?"

He took her hand and played carelessly with it, not being able to look at her in the eye. "I'm having dinner with her tomorrow. I can talk to her then."

She laid her head on his chest, getting comfortable. She didn't know whether to believe or not Darren's words, it wasn't the first time she heard them. There was a long silence. He was still playing with her hand. Then, Darren's voice sounded clear and loud in the room.

"Move with me."

"What?" her breath was hard to catch in that moment.

"Move with me to LA…" He looked at her in the eyes this time, but she was too shocked. A few minutes ago he didn't even want to recognize their relationship and now he was asking her to live with him.

"Are you serious?" she asked, not being able to believe it yet.

"Yes…" he rubbed her hand. "What do you say?"

She couldn't think correctly, everything was so sudden. Of course she wanted to, but all of her life was in Chicago now. "What about my job?"

"You know you can go to Chicago as you please; and your books and coaching can continue there and I'm sure you will have a lot of opportunities." It still was a big change. She was giving up a lot of things if she accepted. "I understand if you don't want…" he added quietly.

"Of course I want to live with you, silly. Turn off the light." She replied, smiling. Her eyelids were heavy and she had a big day ahead.

Lauren snuggled up closer to him, as he let go her hand and wrapped his arms around her. She listened to his heartbeat, and she thought that sound was something she could definitely hear every night before falling asleep.

* * *

The next morning Darren was trying to get himself up from the bed; but he felt like he just slept a little or nothing. Lauren was having a shower and he couldn't help but smile to hear how she was practicing the songs she prepared for the audition. She choose two songs as Alice recommended her to; the first one was the_ I wanna be a Rockette_ performance, that way she could show her dance skills; and the second one was _You Must Love Me_ from the Evita musical, to demonstrate the judges she could be passionate too.

When she came back to the room and started to dry her hair; he finally got up and started to lazily change his clothes.

"You don't need to get up just because I have to." Lauren said.

"I have to go to the studio, the team worked all night on the edition of the video so they could have it finished before I go. I need to go check the final fixes today. Hey, maybe you could go after your audition and see the result." He commented, his voice still a little hoarse.

"Yeah, sure. But Julia gets here near 4pm, so I need to go to the hotel by then…"

"No…" Darren complained, hugging her by behind; but regretting it instantly because her hair whipped on his face and he had to get away or he'd drown with it.

She laughed and turned off the hairdryer. He said good luck to her (even though he repeated one and another time she didn't need it) and she ran off to her audition. The auditorium of the Theatre was being occupied for a rehearsal; maybe that was all the deal, they wanted her for another show, maybe it wasn't that big as Alice made it up. Lauren found the woman giving some orders to the actors; and she greeted her and gave her some advices and good wishes, while walking with her to another rehearse room where the the casting would have place.

The audition went good. The judges were serious and strict but they didn't make her uncomfortable or anything. They barely looked at her resume; instead they actually played attention to her. She was pretty happy with her performances; and they didn't ask to her any question she wasn't capable to respond. When they asked her to leave, Alice said she could have the devolution from the judges in that moment if she waited a while; so she sat down to watch the rehearsal of the other play. Apparently they were doing Wicked this time. She recognized some of her co-workers of Les Misèrables. One of them walked to her; asking how she was, so she spent the time before Alice came back. Her heart skipped a beat. The woman called her; and they walked further away from the noise of the rehearsal. She had such a big smile and an excitement she barely could hold.

"I have the greatest news we could expect."

"Do you want me to…?" she pointed at the practice going on right then; but Alice laughed innocent in response.

"My dear, I'm afraid you wouldn't have time for those things after this. They want you to get the lead in Chicago. In Broadway."

So that was how staying without breath felt like. She directed her hands to her mouth trying to hold a scream that never knew the light. She felt like she needed to sit down. "Are you serious?" She just was able to ask, smiling widely.

Alice nodded; and finally gave her a quick hug. "Congratulations, you deserve this so much. Are you going to accept the role, I guess?"

Her smile faded. New York again. The rehearsals, looking for an apartment again, living alone… and Darren? He was coming back to Los Angeles. And accepting that would mean staying there for who knows how many months. Maybe six, maybe more. Finally when they could step further this came out. It was a hard decision. Their relationship wouldn't probably survive to that. She breathed deeply before answering, "Oh, God, you're going to kill me. It's such a great chance and I feel really flattered and all, but I don't think I can. For personal reasons."

She was actually regretting that opportunity? Yes, but it was necessary. It was? She couldn't know.

"I understand. It's a mess living away from here. But just promise me something: you're going to think about it, okay? The judges said they can wait until this Tuesday. Think about it. My advice it's that if you find a way to stay here, take it. It's not a chance that presents to you every day." Alice commented, and she nodded. It was a big choice.

Lauren thanked the opportunity and greeted her mentor before leaving. She was told the front door was closed so she had to leave by the back door; having to walk very fast by hall of the dressing rooms. She wasn't watching her way while walking, because she was looking for her phone inside her bag. But then she felt how she crashed against another person who was walking with the same intensity as her. She cursed, trying to catch her bag which almost dropped from that collision; and half of her stuff ended up on the floor. She looked up and continued coursing, inwardly this time.

"Hey, Angela." She said, crouching to put all of her stuff in her bag again. She was surely going to the rehearsal.

"Hey, Lauren. What a surprise." the woman imitated her accent; picking the coat she accidentally dropped when they crushed. None of them said sorry. "Did you come to the audition of the Broadway people?"

She recognized resentment in her voice. "Yes."

"Did they pick you?" she raised her eyebrow. Lauren felt the anger burning her, she was always so acquiescent.

"Yes." She answered, standing up, victorious, with a showing off smile.

"Oh." She sighed. "Congratulations."

"I'm not going to accept the role, though."

"Why not? Your little rich boyfriend got tired of you and you don't have money?" It wasted her the way she was always looking how to piss her off; like if she didn't have enough reasons to dislike her.

"In fact, I'm moving to LA with him."

She knew telling that to her was wrong; she didn't want her to be the first one to know either; but couldn't help it, she was so angry.

"Really? That's why you're rejecting Broadway?"

She regretted having to tell her. That woman would find the way to piss her off anyway. "It's not just because of that, I have my reasons to-" she started, but she didn't let her finish.

"Wow, Lauren, you are really the only one who would say no to Broadway for a guy."

"At least I don't need to sleep with the producer to get a role!" she yelled; she was holding that phrase from months ago and she couldn't help but spitting it with disgust. Her tone was rude, ferocious; just a few people had seen her like that.

Angela looked incredibly surprised by the fact she knew that. She was hardly offended. "How do you-?"

"Everybody knows!" she spitted. It was true, the rumor has been on since she first came to NY.

"Well, it's not true." She contradicted, but it was absurd because she just confirmed it.

Lauren needed to hold herself. She was better than that and she had to leave that place proudly. "Right."

"It's not even your business who I am banging."

"You slept with my ex boyfriend." She replied disgusted. She couldn't get away glorious with that girl, she was always fighting back.

"Because you weren't meeting his needs."

Lauren sighed. She was not having that conversation with her. Without replying, she just walked away, whispering a lowly "Slut" a few steps away; but knowing Angela heard it, and fearing, very deeply, she tried revenge.

She left the theatre and took a taxi to the studio where they were editing Darren's video. He found him and the editing team working in a room, in front of a computer. They were talking, fixing lights and shoots. Darren laughed at something someone of the staff said; nobody noticed her presence until she stood up next to him and put her hand on his shoulder.

"Hey." She just said quietly. That fight left her a disgusting taste in her mouth and a bad feeling behind her back.

"Hi, honey. So?" he asked excited, taking her hand. "How was the audition?"

"They didn't pick me." She lied. That was the best she could do, she knew Darren wouldn't let her reject the role otherwise.

"What? No way…" he objected, surprised. He stood up and hugged her tightly to comfort her; the team still working on the computer.

She felt a lump in her throat. She never lied to Darren and less with something like that. She hugged him back, heading her hands to his back and squeezing slightly his shirt. It didn't feel right. "It's okay." She whispered.

"They are crazy if they didn't choose you, Lo. You sure you're fine?"

She nodded, changing the subject. "How's the video?"

"You got here just in time." He said, sitting down again. "It's done, guys?"

"Just finished." Replied one of the guys with speakers and clicking really quickly on the mouse.

Darren beckoned to her, so she sat down on his lap. He wrapped his arms around her waist. The guy with the speakers put play in full screen to the final edition of the video. Lauren turned her head back and smiled to Darren as the screen counted down 3, 2, 1. He looked so excited.

The bass started its riff powerfully, as a street in sepia tone appeared on the screen.

In the first verse, Lauren saw herself walking in slow motion in a street while the cars stopped one foot away from her. In the second, the band playing at what it looked like a rooftop, but actually wasn't. In the third verse she was laughing at the music store. And so on, a mix of her and the band shoots in a sepia color, it was a really enjoyable video. In the last phrase, when the video was about to end; they added the clip of Darren hugging her when they finished recording. She didn't even know the camera was still on then. You could barely recognize that was Darren because the stylists made miracles to him after that; and besides the camera angle didn't help.

"Why did you add that?" Lauren complained.

"I liked it." He whispered, kissing her shoulder. Then added to the team "Great job, guys, I think you all deserve to go home and sleep for the rest of the week." He clapped and they joined his cheers.

"Congratulations." Lauren said quietly; and forgetting where they were, she put her hands on his neck and kissed him. The staff, without getting into their business, left them alone. She blushed when she realized that, and Darren laughed.

"Seems like somebody's losing her shame, after all."

* * *

"I have to go." Lauren whispered, catching her breath again.

"No…" he cried, out of breath too, and kissing her neck.

"Darren…" she warned. She had to make a big effort to put her underwear on again, ignoring him teasing her (it was hard having in mind she had his weight on her); and he was making her regret it. "Don't make this harder."

"I should be the one saying that." He replied, and Lauren burst into laughs.

"You are disgusting. But Julia can't get in the hotel before me." She said, trying to ignore Darren rubbing her thigh with his fingers.

"Just five minutes." He begged, remaining on top of her.

She wrapped her arms around him, and made him roll, being she on the top of him now. Then she kissed softly his lips.

"There will be time." She just said, before standing up and entering to the bedroom's bath.

Darren sighed, defeated.

Then his phone started to ring on his bedside table. He frowned when he read Lauren's name on it. It was a text, apparently from her.

"_Are you Lauren's bf?"_

"Lauren?" he asked, lost.

"Yeah?" she answered from the other room.

"Where's your phone?"

She walked from the bathroom with a towel on, still hadn't showered, and with a confused look on her face.

"I'm sure it's in my bag." She said, looking inside of it.

Darren waited, even though he knew her phone wasn't there.

"Shit, I must have forgotten it somewhere." Lauren said after looking her bag upside down.

"I'm pretty sure, because I just got a text from you." He explained.

"From who?" she frowned.

He texted back.

"_Kind of. Who are you?"_

The answer didn't make them wait. _"I'm Angela, Lauren's friend. I'm at the theatre."_

"Oh, shit." Lauren's hand palmed her forehead. Of course, when she bumped her she must have dropped her phone. "I can't see that woman again, you have to pick up my phone for me, please."

"Why me?" he complained.

"I met her today and we said… bad things. You have to go for me, please." She begged, and Darren let out a sigh.

"Okay."

"Thank you, thank you, I promise I will reward you for this." She said before giving him a little kiss.

"Well, maybe if I'm quick enough I'll join your bath." He said seductively.

She smiled before entering to the bathroom again. He changed his clothes and drove to the theatre the faster he could, he knew maybe that woman wouldn't wait that long. The front door was closed so he walked by the back door. There was nobody backstage; and when he entered to the auditorium he almost turned back and left, because he barely could spot a woman sitting down in the last line of seats, in the theatre completely empty.

"Hi." He tried to get the attention of the woman, who was looking at the dark stage with sad eyes, her feet up in the seats ahead. "I came for-"

"Hey, Darren, how are you?" Angela greeted affectionately, without standing up. "Your silly girl forgot this today." She showed him the phone in her hands. "She went so quickly I couldn't stop her. We had a little encounter today."

"Oh, I'm sorry-" he tried to excuse Lauren but was interrupted.

"You are a very lucky guy, don't you?" she said.

"Uhm. What do you mean?" he asked, confused. The woman pointed at a seat next to her.

"Sit down."

"I really have to-"

"No, please, sit down!" she repeated. Darren, seeing there was no escape, walked to her and took a seat.

"You know, at first I thought you were the one who had mental problems or something like that." She started, as if Darren was a close old friend and she was telling a funny story. "I thought, what the hell is he doing with Lauren? But now I realize, she is the crazy one of both. But it's kind of a cute story and that. You must be very happy."

"Uh-" Darren stuttered.

"Congratulations, though." She finally added, looking at him with a smile.

"Ehrn, thanks. Uh, why?" he asked awkwardly. He had no idea what she was talking about.

"Lauren told me you are moving together."

That was weird. Lauren didn't take so lightly those things, and less to be telling everyone.

"I think it's a big sacrifice, I wouldn't be capable to do it." She continued, having no response from him. He was too shocked and confused to reply.

"I guess."

"Would you do it if you were in her place?" she asked, this time serious.

"Um, do what, exactly?"

"Leaving it. I mean, it's Broadway. Are you guys serious?"

"I'm sorry, I have no idea what you're talking about." He stuttered awkwardly again. That woman was crazy.

"Oh my god, you don't know, then?" she got so excited Darren started to freak out. The woman seemed to be watching her favorite movie, a bigger smile on her lips. She was happy to be the one who tell him. "Lauren was offered a lead in Broadway."

"No, she wasn't." he contradicted, "She didn't pass the audition."

"Yes, she did." Angela replied. "She has until Tuesday to confirm whether she's gonna take it or not. That's what I'm saying, silly. I wouldn't allow her to reject that chance!"

The pieces didn't fix in Darren's head. Why would she lie to him?

"That doesn't make sense!" he finally said. "Lauren didn't get the part. Why would she reject Broadway?"

Angela raised her eyebrows. "Because of you, idiot!"

"That's absurd..." He muttered. No way that was happening. "You are wrong."

"She knew it was you or her career. And she chose you, and you should be happy. Are you going to tell me it's the first time she does something like that?"

He thought about it. No, it wasn't. She rejected a main role in Holy Musical Batman and practically gave up to most of the rest of Starkid shows because of him. She stayed weeks more than what she should in New York to stay with him. She skipped rehearsals, and now; she was leaving everything in Chicago.

"But it doesn't make sense. That's not Lauren." he always knew her like a Workaholic. Everybody did. She was always so focused, balanced, perfectionist. Somehow, in the way, he ruined that.

"Love changes people." Angela said. "Look, Zack told me about her. She is like that with relationships; she needs to give up everything, and she did. It's like; yeah, you ruined her career, but she doesn't need a career if you are rich as hell, am I wrong?"

Darren was too shocked to process all of her words. He couldn't believe he didn't realize before the damage he was doing to her. That woman could be a bitch but she was right. She rejected freaking Broadway, and all of that behind his back. When did they get to that point?

He breathed deeply. He didn't feel okay. He extended his hand, and Angela gave him Lauren's phone. She didn't have any other reasons to have him there anymore; she accomplished what she wanted. He left the theatre without saying a word more.

He drove Lauren to the Hotel in silence. She knew something was wrong; but when she asked him he just shook his head. He didn't kiss her when he left her in the hotel, he didn't even get out of the car. He left Lauren alone in the street with a big heavy suitcase.

That night he was seeing Mia. And he needed to make the decision he had been postponing all that time. It was either taking Lauren with him, and maybe being the happiest men in the world, but knowing he ruined her career, her future, her life; or it was returning her freedom to her, and confronting all that this entails. He needed to make a decision strong enough so he wouldn't be able to look back; so he couldn't get weak and get back to the past.

And he knew the right decision was probably the one which hurt the most.


	10. Last Kiss

**A/N: Omg I have this chapter written since weeks ago and I didn't have the courage to update because it's... it's soooo sad. I'm really sorry!**

**I had to mentally prepare myself a lot to write this. It's really an important and intense scene for the story and for me. I'M SORRY REALLY BUT PLEASE READ AND REVIEW AND WAIT I STILL LOVE YOU.**

* * *

**Chapter 10: Last kiss**

It was Sunday at night. Apparently a storm was approaching; the forecast announced it'd be even worse than the other night in Chicago. But that didn't stop the meeting going on. Louis' house was crowded, dinner was going to be ready in a few minutes and Darren was getting nervous. He was sitting down in one of the couches, glancing at the clock. Joey handed him a beer, but he refused it for the first time in a while.

"You okay, dude?" he asked. Darren nodded; when he heard the sound of the door of the house opening again. He quickly turned his head back to see who was it, but it was only the two Joes and Sarah which were stepping in. Walker was staying for a few days in New York, he had some little works he could do in there so he was taking the most of it; and Jomo, without knowing the other adventure of his friend, offered his house to him.

A bunch of their friends were there; you could tell it was a special occasion. Some guys of the band were there; and even Mia's closest company.

The new arrivals greeted Darren and went for a drink. Lauren and Julia didn't show up there yet. He needed to see Lauren. He just needed to talk to her and soon.

He felt someone took his hand; and gasped so quietly no one heard it.

"Are you excited?" Mia said in a low voice. He almost forgot she was there. He nodded, squeezing her hand back. Why couldn't he get a single word from his throat?

"I'm going to help Louis with the food," he announced, when he could get some sound out of his vocal chords.

The only person in the kitchen was his friend, who was managing to carry loads of trays full of snacks to the living room; where all the people's stomachs were starving. He started to put the snacks in one of the trails when the door opened again.

"Hiii!" Lauren and Julia said at the unison while walking in. Joey probably sent them to bring more food quickly.

Louis greeted them quickly before going outside. Julia gave Darren a kiss on the cheek to say hi, then grabbed a tray of food and went out too. Lauren opened the fridge and started to grab a lot of drinks. He walked to her. She was balancing an unreasonable amount of bottles in her hands.

"Lauren, I need to talk to you." He said serious.

"Sure, just let me get this to-" she replied, struggling to walk with the bottles to go outside. But he held her arm, interposing in her way. He couldn't waste more time. He took two of the bottles so she could pay attention to him.

"Listen, last night I talked with Mia." He started, talking lowly but with a serious tone.

"You did?" she said, obviously getting her hopes up listening to that; her eyes even lighted up. He felt like an asshole.

"Yeah, and-"

"Hey, where are those drinks?" A loud voice cut him out.

A tipsy Joey, innocently interrupting the scene, walked in really offended by the lack of efficiency of his friends. Darren quickly handed him a bottle so he could leave them alone; but he opened it and started to drink in front of them. Darren couldn't believe his bad luck; Lauren, otherwise, giggled frenetically at Joey's pre-drunkenness activities.

"Dare, you'll tell me later, let's take this guy on a seat now that is possible." Lauren commented, getting Joey the last tray of food and slightly pushing him out of the kitchen.

"Lauren, wait." He begged. He wanted her to know first. She remained the door open; and Louis called him from the living room.

"If you don't hurry you will get no food, bro!"

"Just a minute-" he stuttered.

"Is everything okay?" Mia asked from the living room with a worried voice.

Darren saw those two faces on the other side of the door; plus Lauren, staring at him. He felt a pressure on his chest.

Then he sighed, defeated. "Yeah." And he walked by Lauren, opening the other bottle he had in hand. Maybe it was meant to be like that. Maybe that way would be better.

A thunder sounded powerfully. The storm started; they could hear the rain falling down on the roof.

He sat down in one of the little tables all over in the room, with Joey, Mia, and Brad. Louis was in the other table telling one of his funny stories to Moses and another group of people. Mia's friends were laughing loudly in a corner of the room. Lauren and Julia were with Walker and Sarah, a little away from them.

He was barely able to eat a full hamburger, his stomach was tied up. He occasionally commented in the conversation; but his mind was focused in another point. He glanced every now and then to Lauren. He couldn't help but feeling like shit. He reminded to himself that it was all for her best. For their best.

Brad said he was going back to LA now that the album was finished; Mia talked about the movies her production team was working on; and Joey made some funny remarks about it. When everybody finished their meals; Louis and Walker handed out Champagnes for all of them. Darren took care of serving the liquid in their glasses, that way he'd at least have something to do.

When everybody had their glasses full; Mia gently took his hand again. He felt it so cold.

"Are you ready?" he asked.

"Yes." Mia replied quietly. He took a deep breath.

Darren grabbed a spoon from the table and, softly hit it against his glass a few times; claiming for the attention of the group. The chat stopped the second after and they stared at him. He felt in high school again, too nervous to give his oral lesson. He looked back at Lauren's eyes and felt a pain in his chest. But he needed to be strong. She'd understand later.

"I'm happy to have all you guys here, I haven't seen in a while to a lot of you. I want to just thank your supporting and, before I get extremely cheesy, I wanted to share something with you all." He announced, first he looked at all of them, but finding it hardly difficult, he just stared at the champagne in his glass. "Yesterday I decided something really important for me; and I want you to know for me and not for some magazine or something…" He grabbed Mia's hand again, making her stand up; because he couldn't say it.

She wasn't a rambling person, unlike Darren who kept going around the subject; so she just threw it. "We got engaged." She said with her biggest smile.

A mix of sounds exploded in the room. A few people asked "What?" because they weren't sure of hearing that right; another shared screams of excitement; another clapped; the only one who just could put down her glass of champagne on the table again was a little browned-eye girl with teary eyes and a lump in her throat.

"How did this happen so suddenly?" Joey asked, utterly happy and excited for them. Maybe for the alcohol, too.

"I know it's sudden, but I had it in mind since we got back together." He lied.

"Congratulations, then!" Joey was the first one to say it, before hugging them sharply; and then drink in one sip his full glass of champagne. And that unleashed a shelling of people running to them to give the couple their congratulations. He lost the count; he didn't even know which face was looking at him with a wide smile, or which hand was shaking his. He said "Thank you" and "Yes" repeatedly, held Mia by the waist, and smiled; hoping that was enough.

Even Julia, which Darren knew would have to give an explanation later; congratulated them happily.

"So, this is serious, then!" she commented, still surprised. "Do you have a date already or no pressure?"

"We have been thinking," Mia replied "and we're not sure, but maybe two months from now."

"Two months? Gosh that's so close, you're gonna need help with the organization!" she cried, scandalized; and started to talk with Mia and offered herself to help. That allowed Darren to sit down again and finish his glass of champagne.

The room was so full of movement and excitement; that nobody noticed that the door opened to let someone out.

"Congratulations, men." Walker went to him; and gave him a big boy hug. "Do you have your best man yet?"

"I haven't thought about it yet." Darren stuttered. He just got engaged a day ago, and they were talking about dates, best mans, and Julia kept commenting churches and places and dress designers. "I'll keep you first in the list."

Joe smiled at that answer; and went back with Sarah. He was probably looking for the opportunity to get out of there with her. And the poor JoMo didn't imagine a thing yet. The girls next to him kept rambling for a lot of time. He let out a sigh when Julia left them.

"I wouldn't have thought we have so much to do!" Mia said to him, stressed. "We need to start to organize this as soon as possible."

"Great." He said. He was still sure his plan would work out. Everything was hard then, but after the wedding he'd be happy and all of that madness would make sense.

"Have you seen Lauren?" Julia asked to the group chatting next to Darren, but he accidentally heard it.

The guys answered they didn't. And Darren realized he didn't go to congratulate him either. Not that he was expecting that, of course he knew he wouldn't be able to talk to her for a while. That if he was able to do it again someday.

"She's probably at the bathroom." Julia said to herself, and walked out of the living room.

He reached a drink from the table, then that nobody was talking to him anymore.

Louis put some music on to help the environment of the house; and it really helped since an extremely happy Joey took over the inexistent dance floor. It helped to break the ice and soon a few couples started to dance. Darren, in the other hand, had to take care of Joey's detoxification. He didn't make a fool of himself too often; but he had his days. This one, for example. It took them some minutes to sober him up, but he made it. Near an hour after, they could get out of the bathroom and went to the living room again.

There was a little group of people dancing, but mostly chatting. Mia, her friends and Moses opened a window; and she was smoking next to it. But when she saw him coming back; she threw her cigar and went with him.

Apparently Joe and Sarah could make their way to some private place; it wasn't possible they went outside, though, the storm was every time worse. The thunders were regular now.

"If they are in my room I'll kill them." Louis muttered, going immediately to check.

Darren and Joey laughed, and a cough attack shivered Joey's body.

"Are you sure you okay, dude?" Darren asked him.

"I'm perfect." He stated, with his fist on his mouth. He still didn't look so good.

Mia sat in one of the couches and told him to do it so. But the peace didn't last too long; as soon as he sat down, an extremely worried Julia stepped again in the place, this time she went directly and quickly to Darren. He saw her concerned looks and knew it was serious.

"Darren, Lauren is gone." She said, close to start to cry. Her voice was shaking, and she had two phones in her hands. "I checked the house up and down and she's not here. She left her phone. It's been more than an hour. I don't know what to do."

"Hey, calm down." Darren advised, standing up. It was late at night already. "I'm sure she's…"

He heard a thunder; and then he looked at the window. The storm was so ferocious. And he realized.

"Shit." He cursed; a pain settled down in his chest due a horrible fear that just went through his mind. He took a jacket from the hanger; and opened the door.

"Darren!" Mia called him, standing up.

"Where are you…?" Julia started, trying to follow him; but he closed the door shut on her face. He got in his car, although as soon as he stepped out he felt the hard rain on him; and started it the fastest he could, while the two girls were calling his name from the door of the house, not having a single idea about where was he going. But he didn't even listen to them. He didn't have time to waste.

He drove the faster he could. He though his heart was about to pop out. Luckily, he knew exactly where he was going.

The rain was getting nothing but heavier and harder every minute. It was difficult to look through the car's window. He was so worried. So scared. He stopped at a familiar sidewalk and got out of the car. It didn't surprise him to find the door of the place opened to whoever wanted to enter, and not even one security guard in his way. Like usual. There was an employee in the floor ground, but wasn't paying attention to anyone who went through the door. The place was pretty much empty; apparently the powerful storm ruined everyone's night. He started to run through the stairs. To the first, second, fifth floor… to the rooftop.

When he stepped out he felt the rain again; but this time he had to take a little more of time. He instantly spotted her back. He didn't know how he knew she'd be there. But she was standing there; letting the rain ruined her hair and clothes, emotionless, and that scared him.

He slowly walked to her and softly took her arm. She didn't even look at him. She was just standing there, _so_ close of the edge of the rooftop; in the exact place where he made her his for the first time.

"Lauren, please, come back in." he asked, using the more delicate tone he could.

"Don't touch me." She replied, sullenly but lowly; and shook her arm so he let her go.

He sighed; she was going to get sick, or an accident could happen, or even something worse. "Please." He begged. "Julia is really worried about you. And it's dangerous for you to be out in the storm. Please come inside."

When she frowned and faced him; with her face totally red and her knuckles tight; he knew that was no good. Her eyes had a look that could frighten anyone.

She looked so pissed off that he had an instinct to step back; but he didn't.

"Why do you worry about me now? Don't you think it's too late?" she yelled. This time her voice was really loud. "Wasn't all of this a part of your little fun game, after all?! Wasn't this in your plans?! Or you are the only one who has the right to hurt me?!"

"Lauren, no. It's not what it looks like. I didn't-" he stuttered, but was interrupted.

"Not what it looks like?" she yelled in return. She was totally mad, out of control. Not that the situation required less. Her voice could be totally heard through the sound of the storm. "You lied to me, all this time! _I love you, Lauren!" _she imitated his voice, with an expression extremely disgusted, like if saying those words, and seeing him in front of her; was sickening her. "_I'll break up with Mia, Lauren! Move with me, Lauren_! And I fucking believed you, like a stupid! I don't want to see your face anymore! You have no right on me anymore. Get out of here!" she vent like an explosion; and he just stood there, looking at her. He couldn't expect less after what he did.

"I'll explain you, but please you need to go indoors. If you don't do it under your own ill I'll have to force you." He warned. The rain was falling so hard on them; and the thunders sounded again and again, really close. It was dangerous to be outside. They were wet from head to tall.

Lauren snorted cruelly. "You and what army?"

She stood defiantly in her place, crossing her arms. It hurt him she was so mean to him; but it didn't matter. He crouched to wrap his arms firmly around her legs, and when he stood up her torso dropped further his back. She started to scream (Not a _This is fun_ scream, but an actual _Help me I'm being assaulted_ scream) as he started to carry her inside; but that didn't stop him. Half in the way her fists started to punch his back, actually hurting him (probably leaving bruises), along with a sassy warning.

"You get off me right now, Darren Criss!" her high pitched voice made him know that when he leaved her down on the floor again he'd have what he deserved.

It wasn't until he got on the first landing of the stairs when he let her on the floor again.

"You are an asshole, you know? You have no right to decide what do I do with my life now! You left!" she screamed, in an attack of madness, pointing at him with an accusing finger. Darren never saw her like that. "Go and do your happily just-engaged stuff. You have nothing to do with me anymore."

"Listen, please, you have to let me explain. Things didn't go how you think." He begged, he was trying to remain calmed down but Lauren wasn't to let any words tangled in her mouth. Their clothes and hair were wet but they didn't pay attention to that.

"Did you accidentally drop a ring in her finger? Yeah, that happens to me all the time too." she raised her eyebrows. She was letting all go that night.

"No, but I'm doing this because of us. It's the best for us, for you. Trust me. I know it's hard to understand, but I'm doing it because I care too much about you to let this happens."

She just stared at him, confused, before adding an ironical: "You have to be kidding me."

He took a deep breath. It was still difficult for him to admit it. He wanted to drop everything and say to her to run away, to forget everything, to escape with him. But he had to be strong for her. "You have to take the Broadway's role."

"How do you know…?" she asked, confused, forgetting for a moment she was supposed to be mad at him.

"I've talked with Angela." He explained.

"You left that woman made you a brainwash?!" she said, offended. If he was going to believe to Angela before her, then she wasn't arguing with him.

She turned back before he could answer, and started to run downstairs. To the fourth, third, second floor. He asked her all the way to let him talk, and repeated her name trying to catch her attention, but she didn't want to listen. Only then he caught her, because her rhythm slowed after her legs got tired.

"Hey, that woman is an idiot, but she's right." He said, almost out of breath. "Something along the way got wrong. Something failed us, Lauren. When we are working together we are not working separately anymore." He finished. And she listened to him.

His words hurt even when she knew they were right. She wanted to cry. "You are the guilty one. It's _your_ fault." She spit. "If we didn't go the correct way, it was because of you. If we aren't ending the correct way, it is because of you still. That's the truth. You never wanted us to work, Darren."

_Always postponing, lying, cheating._

But he didn't want to believe that. "Don't say that… I care and I just want the best for you. I love you." He sighed. He did, after all.

She snorted.

"That's BULLSHIT!" she screamed before turning back again and continued running down stairs.

"Lauren! Wait!" he called, following her.

He couldn't catch her again until she was outside, in the rain again. The same employees who was on the ground floor when he was entering, looked at them confused, as they walked out.

Seeing how the things went, he knew that was probably the last time she'd direct a word to him. The worse way he could wish they end.

She was walking really fast by the sidewalk, so he grabbed her arm and forced her to turn back. He didn't want the last thought about him to be that he didn't love her or that he just played with her.

Without letting go her arm, he grabbed her face and crashed fiercely his lips on hers, pushing her against the wall on the sidewalk next to the pub. She was too shocked to react at first, she just remained in there, between the wall and Darren; trying to decode the meaning of the kiss. What was he trying to say with the movement of his lips?

Was that a goodbye?

She asked to herself how could she live without the feeling of his lips on hers, without his touch on her skin, without hearing his fast heartbeat close to her.

He could feel a quick, but intense response of her mouth; before she caught her mind again and two seconds passed in slow motion then.

In the first one, she pushed him furiously; stopping the kiss and pushing him away.

He was too confusing and she was too weak and tired to keep trying to figure him out. She didn't have the strength to play his games anymore.

In the second one, her hand slapped his cheek. Darren wasn't expecting that; not from Lauren. He put a hand on his cheek, feeling the burnt on it. It was red. He looked at Lauren and he didn't know what to say.

Her face was full of raindrops, but she was crying too.

"Stop this!" she yelled, out of control. "I gave everything for you! Chicago is my home! My house, my job, my life is there! And I was ready to quit it for us, for you! But that didn't matter to you, right?! I can't keep going like this, Darren. I don't want to look at you anymore. Please, just leave me alone. Don't seek after me, no more. I hate you." She cried, her eyes all red.

He wanted to clear every tear and hug her tight; but he knew she wouldn't let him.

She turned back again and started to walk, without hurries, through the sidewalk, going away. He could see how the sobs shook her body. He looked at her, feeling a horrible pain in all his body.

It was the first time Lauren said she hated him; and it felt so real, so true. She really did.

It was the best like that. It's easier to say goodbye to people when you are mad at them.

He sat down on the edge of the sidewalk. A thunder rambled. The rain was falling so hard it hurt. He should feel better knowing that, at least, he did what he wanted, even knowing the consequences that meant. But the thought couldn't get out of his mind, of his chest. And it was burning him, stabbing him from inside out. The only feeling worse than when he didn't have her. The feeling of letting go a vital part of yourself. And he just knew it. That time was definitive.

He lost her.


	11. Decaffeinated Coffe

**A/N: I didn't have time to re-check this so I'm sorry if it has errors... (It has). I know this might seem like a drastic big big big change but remember that everything happens for a reason! so don't leave the story here is about to get in the climax ;) **

**There's also a Little White Lie reference over there lol I hope you enjoy! And remember reviews make me sosososo happy. xx **

* * *

**Chapter 11: Decaffeinated coffe**

The next week was a total disaster. Lauren completely blocked herself from the real world. She spent the next day without leaving the hotel room at all; rejecting the wide fan of Julia's invitations to tour the city. Her friend suspected what was going through Lauren's mind, but didn't even imagine the whole story behind that picture of the tiny girl wrapping herself with blankets and rejecting any attempt of social interaction. Resigned, after all; Julia hung out with the guys that Monday before they took their flights to go back to Chicago.

When Julia came back to the hotel room; there was absolutely no change. Lauren was still totally covered with blankets, pretending to be watching TV. She had her eyes all red, and she didn't say a word; you could tell she had been crying all the time she wasn't there. Then she felt bad for leaving her. The last night, Darren came back to the party completely wet from head to toes saying that Lauren was okay and that she went to the hotel; and he didn't want to give more explanations. When Julia went there, she found Lauren (apparently) asleep; so she didn't wake her up. Although, a few minutes after she got in bed too; she heard Lauren's quiet and contained crying. She pretended she was asleep and didn't hear it so. She'd have gone to her and say something; but at that point she didn't know what she could possibly say. She didn't know what was happening anymore; Lauren didn't share a word with her and she was very weird since a little time ago. She guessed Darren had something to do with her sadness, but didn't completely understand the connection; she knew they had a brief thing when he first went to New York but they split right away; besides, Darren had been with a lot of girls since college and that never seemed to affect Lauren at all, she didn't know what had changed and she didn't know how to help her friend. That morning, she denied everything; she said that she just went for a walk when the rain caught her, so she walked back to the hotel.

That Monday nothing changed.

But on Tuesday, Lauren sat up on the bed, took her phone, and stared at the screen for more than five minutes. Julia was at visiting one of her friends' house to settle up a new project they had in mind, so she was alone. She dialed Alice's number, and moved nervously her thumb around the calling button. She bit her lip; it was a big change and an enormous opportunity that probably would never present to her reach again. And what was even the point of rejecting it then? No, she didn't feel like getting up from the bed anytime soon, but she was a grown up person and couldn't stay like that forever.

She didn't know if it was even worth it at that point. A sigh sneaked out of her mouth. Then she pressed the calling button.

"Yeah, Alice? How are you?" she heard that comforting tone of voice, happy to hear her calling back. "I thought about it, about the role in Broadway. It's been a little rough. And… I'm going to do it."

* * *

A sip through another, and he didn't stop until he saw the transparent glass on the bottom of the cup. He filled the cup again; when Louis walked in the living room, in his pajamas and with the most puzzled look on his face.

"Darren ,it's like 3am. What are you doing?" he asked, walking next to him and sitting down on the couch too.

"Drinking." He replied, as if that wasn't obvious.

"All alone, in the dark?" Louis raised his eyebrows. "Are you okay?"

Darren snorted. That depended of the definition of okay.

"Of course I am okay. Why wouldn't I?" he stuttered, making grimaces while talking. The alcohol was breaking havoc in his voice, reactions, and organism.

Louis took the beer bottle and put it on the refrigerator again. His friend booed instantly.

"Hey, what are you doing?" he yelled, his voice was hoarse. He tried to get up from the couch, but his hands slipped and he bounced in his place. It seemed like the more he drank, the less resistance he had to the alcohol.

"You've been drinking like a beast lately." Louis answered. Darren was always the kind of guy who had a glass of wine at night; but only one. Now things had made it to an alarming point. He couldn't make it sober to the beginning of the night. And he couldn't even hide it; which could lead him to troubles with his career. "Where's Mia?"

"In the room." He answered, his voice barely sounded.

After taking the bottle away from him; Louis faced him, Darren had his hand on his face, like trying to wake himself up; and right there alone in the dark, he kind of had pity for him. He looked so miserable. Like a frustrated artist. He had been managing all the stress too good lately; and after the engagement it was all just too much. Then he put his hands away, and without looking at Louis, he started to talk.

"Today… today I- _we_, went to a thing. We looked at… did you know we're moving together after the wedding?" he asked, like if that was a total revelation for him.

Louis laughed. He was either very drunk or very silly in that moment.

"Yeah, I guessed that's what married couples do."

"I- Today we went to see a lot of houses. Here in New York. And you know, I looked at them… and they are so… they are for a family, you know? They have three rooms, and-and… a ridiculously big kitchen and a green garden and…" he was tripping down his own words.

He found him pretty scared. He knew that was normal, though, especially for men. "Don't you want to live there? Don't you want to get married?"

"Of course I want to get married." He repeated the phrase _of course_, he wanted to make clear to his friend that he had no doubts.

"Do you love Mia?"

Three seconds of silence passed by.

"Of course."

Another three seconds.

"It's just that-" he avoided a burp. "all of this is scary and overwhelming and I don't think I'm ready for it. I just want to skip all of these things and get to the wedding, and that the wedding lasts an hour and then just, everything will be perfect in then." He stated.

His friend didn't know how that plan could possibly work; but he knew he couldn't convince him of anything in that state. He patted him on the shoulder.

"Go to sleep."

Darren sighed. "Yeah." He grabbed Louis' arm to stand up and, dragging his feet he walked to the room again. Mia didn't realize he was gone.

The first weeks had been like that. Drinking was getting a little out of hand, and his close friends were worried about him. They obviously just blamed it to the stress over the album and all the contract meetings he had been to. One night he was especially down, and Louis, in an attempt to make fun of him slash helping him; hide all of the drinks in the house and went out for the night. He was about to buy more but (oh surprise) his wallet was nowhere near. He had a fight with Mia over the stupidest argument about the wedding, none of them wanted it to be in a church, and she didn't want the place they rented date anymore, and they didn't know where to do it; it was like their tenth fight that month. They both were hysterical and ended up arguing aggressively over the most meaningless things. Mia left the house yelling and didn't come back. Almost feeling pity of him; JoMo texted him saying he was having a few friends in his house and he should go too. He hadn't seen the gang since like two weeks ago; but he didn't want to get their mood down too or anything. Finally, after a lot of struggling, he accepted the invitation; and took the keys of his car.

* * *

Next week after Lauren's phone call; rehearsals would be starting. The play would have place two months from then; they were doing Chicago and she was selected as Roxie, the main role. Julia was working on a project with a theatre group she had in New York; she was one of the directors of a play they would be working on for a whole month. It was an adaptation of the play Happy Days, she had been working hard separately during the last weeks and now that she got to put it together with the rest of the group she seemed very excited. The next month Starkid was probably going to start to work in the next production, a sketch called Airport for Birds, in which they'd focus for approximately two months and a half; Julia was coming back for it, but Lauren would have to miss that one. The consequence: Julia and Lauren were sharing a rental apartment for, at least, one month. By that weekend they were able to gather a big amount of their properties, and they moved to an apartment a little bigger than Lauren's previous one. It was near their respective theatres and studios; so they couldn't be happier about it. They both forgave to Jaime a hundred times for leaving her all alone in the house; though she didn't seem so mournful as they'd have expected (Joey was coming to Chicago for a few days, and they'd have the house just for themselves).

Everything was getting better since then. Whatever was happening to Lauren, she seemed to start forgetting it progressively. The next week, rehearsals started. Julia was at a little theatre near the house practically all day; and Lauren had her rehearsal, in the start, from early morning until 3pm.

The first week consisted about conditioning classes. She knew the rest of her companions were her future co-workers, but didn't have time to interact with them before they began. She was pretty nervous though; most of them didn't know who she was and the lead was usually a famous star. The first class was singing, they had two teachers, a male and a female; the mister trained in coral singing and the miss in popular singing, and they had a few hours of general vocal training and singing exercises. That class was pretty hard for Lauren; she was proud of her voice, but she felt like it wasn't strong or perfect enough comparing to the rest of them; and she was supposed to be the best. A woman called Monica was in charge of the next class, acting. It was the funniest class; the woman was full of interesting and crazy ideas. At the end of the week they even started to perform a few scenes of the play, in different castings, getting to know each other; that's why it was the most enjoyable class. Lauren met a young beautiful woman called Isabelle who was going to play Velma; and a man named Tom who was going to play Billy Flynn. Luckily, they seemed easy to get along with. Then they had the dance class, taught by an old lady; which was general dance skills and then a little of jazz and Broadway style. It was easy for Lauren having in mind she spent most of her lifetime dancing.

After Wednesday the general dance training was shorter; and the choreographer and also co-director of the play (along with Monica and others) went to the theatre. Since he first walked in, he captured Lauren's and probably some other's attention. He was probably in his thirties (Maybe young forties), but he was a very attractive and mysterious man. He had those looks that just captured your interest. He was well-dressed with a suit and had a haughty appearance. He sat down, watching the class, and waited until the teacher finished her class. He looked to Lauren most than the others actors. Of course, she was in the first line because she needed to learn quicker and better than all of the others, but he still put his eye on her instantly. After the woman gave the end to the class; this men stood up in the front and started to mark quick steps, to throw ideas and names and moved people here and there. He didn't even say his name. Lauren didn't know who he was, but apparently he was an important guy because he had this aura of respect around him; and everyone treated him like if he was some kind of god.

Lauren found him fascinating. She wanted to know more about him. That Wednesday, Thursday and Friday of the first week he threw these amazing ideas which had just a little to do with the play, because he wanted to know how the group reacted and worked, before putting ongoing the actual play. On Friday she found out, hearing other's conversation; that his name was Sebastian, and he was, indeed, a 21th Century genius, gaining several awards by his 37 years old. She tried to talk to him after class, he was the choreographer and co-director after all, they had to know each other; but he was pretty intimidating and she didn't gather the courage to walk very near him.

The second week would have less or nothing of training; and actual rehearsals would start, starting to put together scenes and scenarios and groups. Having a real excuse for avoiding all kind of meetings and reunions with her group of friends; ignoring their calls and replying dryly to their texts asking excited about how she was doing at Broadway; she was totally focused on her career. More than ever now that she was having the actual rehearsals. Not that she forgot her friends or anything, they were one of the best things in her life; but it wasn't that easy now. It hurt her more than anything having to do that; but the memories were so strong and so painful for her. She knew it was stupid an illogical, but she felt betrayed by all of them. Plus, she knew that meeting them would include seeing Darren, and she wasn't ready for that. She didn't know if she would be ready for that ever again. Just thinking of him was extremely painful. She missed him; but she missed what she thought he was, not who he showed her to be after ages. So she kept repeating to herself that he didn't have to matter now, that she had to ignore those thoughts, those feelings; and focus on things that were important and good for her.

She prepared herself very well that Monday morning. But when she first walked into the studio room, and saw all of her mates chatting and having a small sneaky breakfast; she found an unexpected and, to add, horrifying surprise. Unable to believe it, she walked and without giving any kind of greet, she asked:

"What are you doing here?" her tone of voice sounded louder than what she'd have expected, and consequently some heads turned back to her.

"Nice to see you to, Grumps McGee!" the woman replied, standing up from the floor because she was tying her shoes.

It was Angela.

Lauren just stared at her, standing defiant on her place and with her chin up, holding strongly her bag. Her presence was not only annoying, but had no sense. Although, Angela seemed nothing but flattered to see her.

"A friend found a place for me in the ensemble, can you believe it? We're going to be mates again. I had to miss the first week, but no worries, I'm here now." She explained, completely happy.

"Lovely." Was Lauren's ironical response.

She tried to ignore her. After all; if she was a part of the ensemble they would have to share just a few schedules until the scenes were rehearsed separately.

Friday of the second week; you could see the shade of the play and the greatness of the directors, artists and actors working on it. They finished practicing the Billy Flynn's presentation, which was hilarious. Full of movement and people everywhere. The actual director, Monica and Sebastian, plus a whole work team were directing and correcting the staging. When they finished; Lauren sat down on the floor, putting her change of clothes and her other stuff in the bag, in front of the mirror. Most of the group just stayed chatting next to the front door. The working team left, but the choreographer sat down in one of the chairs near Lauren. One of his assistants handed him a cup of coffee, and then left too. When Sebastian took off the top of the cup; Lauren had no doubt about what that smell was. A decaffeinated with no sugar; she knew that smell very well. That's how Darren used to drink it, especially in college when they shared those sleepless long nights of study. He'd go to her room, with his Michigan jacket, and sit on the bottom of her bed with the papers and a cup of decaffeinated with no sugar.

She put a jacket on, and holding the strap of her bag on her shoulder; she walked near Sebastian and said jokingly:

"Decaffeinated coffee with no sugar, huh?"

Sebastian raised his eyebrows, surprised by her suspiciousness. "Yeah." He just answered, and continued drinking, watching by the glass which the wall of the street was made of.

"That's how my…" She made a pause. Her ex boyfriend? What? "one of my friends used to drink it."

"Used to? What happened to him?" he asked; his tone showed that he didn't have a lot of interest in what she was saying, but he looked at her.

"He's somewhere out there." She just replied.

She looked at him in the eyes; and then she realized why he had been catching her attention so much. He had the same color in the eyes as Darren. Looking at those eyes was practically like looking at Darren's. For a few seconds she got lost in them; until she reminded those weren't Darren's eyes; and that if they were, she shouldn't get lost in them either way. She discovered more than one similarity between both of them; Darren and Sebastian.

She shook her head.

"Would you like to… someday…?" Lauren started, but a voice yelling cut her off.

"Lauren! Want to go to Taco Bell? Tom and I are going!" Isabelle called her from the front door.

Lauren stuttered a little trying to ask, shocked by the interruption. "Um- Yeah, sure." She finally accepted, and waved shyly her hand to Sebastian before walking away, making little jumps to catch her friends. The man barely greeted her with a movement of his head; but he checked her out while she stepped out of the theatre.

Lauren made a rewind of her actions while walking to the store; her mates were chatting but she didn't pay attention to them. Was she about to ask her co director out? Definitely not a good idea. She wasn't even in a spot where she could ask _anyone_ out.

She commented to Julia the situation; and she totally agreed to get on him instantly. She knew him because he was, definitely, a popular actor and choreographer; so she also agreed he was smoking hot. Julia took advantage of that opportunity and tried to convince Lauren, once more, to gather with the other guys a moment.

"You weren't with us at all since you became famous!" she joked. "You need a break. You don't relax at all and you've been working like hell too much. Come on, just today, it's Saturday!" she punched her on the shoulder, while she was trying to get her off.

"But, Julia-" Lauren started, avoiding her covering her face with blankets.

"Just today. You know I won't leave you alone. Just an hour without stress and sexy coaches, that's all I ask." Julia made her best puppy face and Lauren, rolling her eyes, hated her in that moment. Although she really had been missing the guys.

"I can't say no to that face." She cursed, standing up to change her clothes; and Julia cheered in response.

JoMo offered his house that time. Walker was _surprisingly_ staying for a few weeks in New York, again. And even Tyler made time for them in his schedule. He congratulated Lauren for her role, saying how much she deserved it. They talked a lot. He was teaching acting and dancing classes there in New York.

When Sarah offered her a drink, she rejected it.

"Good choice." The blonde replied, winking at her; and taking her shot instead.

"So, how's the glamorous life? Are you going to forget about us?" Walker asked, lying on the couch. Lauren sat down on the arm of it, laughing at how that sentence just sounded.

"It's good. A little stressing; and people don't know me so most of them doubt that giving me the lead is the right choice. But I think I'm good. I can survive." She explained shyly.

"Bullshit, you are awesome." JoMo patted her shoulder proudly. She blushed, looking at her friends' smiles while they were hearing her anecdotes. How silly to avoid them so long time; she had been missing so much those jokes and smiles.

Just went the chatting and the meeting was going good; JoMo went to open the door, announcing:

"Oh, I have another little surprise for you guys."

Lauren didn't know why, but she didn't like the sound of that warning. When Joe opened the door her suspicions became true. She detected Darren's confused (and maybe a little sad?) face; as the gang cheered his arrival. Her heart skipped a beat; feeling the flashbacks through her mind. She definitely wasn't ready to see him.

While he excused his absence talking about the wedding and stuff (something about a fancy dinner in the honor of his new album and video at the end of the month); and he started to greet every person in the room, Lauren went to the bathroom. She was feeling her heart so heavy and she was sweating. She didn't feel an actual anger for him anymore; but she felt too disappointed to look at him to the eye. She splashed a little of water on her face; calmed down her breath and chilled a little again before coming out. She found him on the hallway, he was probably waiting to use the bathroom, or waiting that she went out. She wasn't sure.

When Darren looked at her she could see he felt ashamed. But that didn't change anything in that point. She wanted to stop caring about him; and talking to him wasn't a start.

"Hi." He finally said; his voice was low. He felt so stupid.

He didn't see her or call her or even text her since the last fight. The last time they kissed, they yelled at each other, and they felt each other's touch. He remembered Lauren's hand slapping his cheek, and her lips rejecting his kiss; and her cruel tone of voice throwing at him all the damage he had done to her; and everything hurt him more every second.

She didn't reply at all. Not even saying hi. She did look at him; for a few seconds, but he wasn't able to discover the meaning of that gaze before she quickly walked away again.

That's what he had done; that was his award. Having Lauren ignoring him to the point of totally blocking him. They couldn't stay in the same room anymore; he couldn't talk to her again. That was the end of their friendship, and any kind of relationship between them.

When he went out of the bathroom; he walked to Julia and asked her about how Lauren's life was going. He felt happy to hear nothing but great news about it; she was doing it amazing, she was having what she deserved so much. But it was a hurtful happiness. He loved that she was happy, but he hated that he wasn't the reason.

But he accomplished what he wanted to, so he couldn't complain. Then he looked around the room and asked when Lauren actually was at the moment.

"She had to go." Julia replied, looking down. Darren detected she was going to avoid to answer the question that, anyway, he was going to do.

"Why?" he said, walking to the window and watching a taxi turning in the nearest block.

And he felt, more powerful than ever, the pain in his chest that only went away with alcohol.

Of course he knew the answer.

Since Monday of the third week, Lauren's schedules went a little crazier. Just what she needed. She avoided all kind of distractions since the terrible and unwanted last meeting. She had to stay all morning; but then she had a break for lunch, and then rehearsal again all evening until the beginning of the night. She stayed until later than she should the first Monday because she was learning her solo of Roxie; and it was a little hard for her. She and Sebastian were the only ones in the theatre; in complete silence; not a sound that wasn't his fingers snapping the rhythm or her voice trying, without accomplishment, to reach the correct tones. It was too difficult having him so close; checking her from head to toes and listening so carefully, yelling at her and being so strict. She didn't know what he had, but he had something that always captured Lauren's attention. He was kind of like a mystery; maybe that was the reason. He wasn't so rough that first day of practicing her solo, though. He didn't get rough until he finished marking the entire piece. While she was rehearsing and had to look to the front, and he was giving her corrections; she could see the wrinkles on his face. He was a grown up man. Maybe that was.

She definitely needed someone mature in her life. When they finally finished; and he was about to go (He was pretty rude sometimes; like he didn't wait until she went to her house to leave) she hurried her task of getting dressed for the cold outside, and called him by his name. He was surprised because Lauren never called him before. She held strongly her bag.

"I was wondering if…" she looked down, feeling like an ashamed teenage girl again. "Do you want to have lunch together tomorrow or something?"

He raised his eyebrows up those hazel eyes. He always did it when something surprised him. Then he let out a snorted laugh; like if he found that funny, and she was sure he was going to reject her invitation. She started to feel ashamed already.

"Yeah, sure." He said. Lauren had to hide a smile of joy. She didn't know why but she wanted his approval.

They went to a restaurant near the theatre the next day. Lauren was nervous. Of course that wasn't a date, it was just having lunch together; but there was something about him. More than just his eyes.

The waiter took his order first. He just asked for water and a plate of stew. Lauren mumbled a little before ordering.

"Are you going to ask for a salad, right?" he said warningly.

"Um, I'm not sure." She replied shyly, not understanding his question.

"Look, I think you look splendid, but our Roxie needs to be super skinny. Just a little bit thinner, that's all I ask." He stated, honest. Lauren opened her mouth, surprised, not knowing how to reply to that.

"Oh, yeah, right. Sure, I can do that." She finally said, asking for a salad. No big surprises, actually, that was how big shows worked. She didn't feel offended, but a little ashamed because she didn't figure out that by herself. She needed to lose a little of weight.

"Have you ever been in a play like this before?" he said, changing the subject of the conversation, as they waited for their food. Sebastian always looked haughty, but classy; you'd thought he was from some other level of human beings.

"Never this big." She answered, nervous, looking to the sides. He always looked at her directly. Who else did that and made her nervous? Yeah, Darren…

"You'll be okay. You're doing a great job." Sebastian finally congratulated her. He was really strict in rehearsal but apparently he had hopes for her.

The lunch went good. Both of them were professional enough to know they shouldn't break the wall between actor and director. Sebastian chilled a little more after he got to know about Lauren. He was too cold at the start; but he even laughed and shared some stories with her. He visited all the parts of the world, he talked a lot. Lauren felt like a little girl who knew nothing about anything next to him. He was full of wisdom.

The next day; in morning and evening rehearsal, he treated her as usual. A little rough, more than with the others because she was the star. Maybe a bit more than the usual. After all of the others left; he marked to her the whole Roxie Heart solo. He smiled when he could finish of teaching to her the final steps.

She tried to go through the whole part by herself, but it was impossible. She messed up again and again. Singing plus dancing was just too much. They both just laughed at her hilarious attempts. She knew that wasn't going to happen the next day; that she needed to get it right the next time, but for today that was enough. Knowing both the lyrics and the choreography just made them happy already.

Lauren put some other clothes on, it was pretty cold outside. She noticed the coach was looking at her. Again they were all alone in the theatre. And for the first time in the three weeks she had been there; he waited for her to leave, leaning his back against the mirror wall. She walked to him.

"Aren't you hurry today?"

He slowly shook his head. Then he added. "Good job."

That was his biggest compliment.

She smiled slightly, feeling the heat on her cheeks. "Thank you."

Lauren looked up and saw those hazel eyes; and she thought they were so similar and so beautiful, that everything would be okay as long as she kept staring at them.

"I have a good coach." She added lowly.

He let out a half grin, and the wrinkles at the side of his lips showed up.

She didn't know why she did it. And it was pretty obvious that couldn't lead to anything good. But as she saw he stayed close to her; she stood up on her tiptoes and leaned over to kiss him.

Sebastian instantly put his hand on her neck and deepened the kiss. He was… different. Different to anything Lauren had ever felt. He was a little rough, a little dry. But maybe that was the change she needed in her life. She hadn't been feeling very well lately; although she knew she should be. Her life was, overall perfect.

His other arm wrapped her waist; and pulled her really close. He wasn't soft at all, unlike Darren. She felt his hard chest against her; and not knowing where to put her hands, she softly left them on his neck. His hands were hard, they barely felt like caresses.

She could barely keep going along with the fast rhythm of his lips. It was a land of overwhelming sensations. It felt weird; she was crossing a line that never did before. His lips were dry; and his hands rough. But he had that something that was mysterious, attractive, and sexual.

Then he cut the kiss, slightly pushing her backwards. Lauren frowned, confused by that movement.

He smiled, shaking his head as if he found it funny; walking away from her. But she detected a sign of desire in his eyes. They both knew that wasn't over. It wasn't just a kiss.

He didn't say anything. Somehow, he knew that Lauren wouldn't kiss and tell, ruining his reputation; but she wouldn't stick to his feet like a flea neither.

He walked through the front door and disappeared; using his regular careless steps. Leaving Lauren with a weird tickling on her lips, feeling all the similarities and the differences between one hazel-eyed and another hazel-eyed.

And she was, again, all alone in the big, desolated theatre.


	12. Once upon a time

**A/N: I'M SO NOT SURE ABOUT THIS CHAPTER SO IF I EDIT AND CHANGE EVERYTHING WITHIN THE WEEK, THEN I'M SO SORRY.**

**You're gonna hate me for this chapter i can't wait for your reviews yay (LEAVE REVIEWS I NEED THEM TO LIVE no joke)**

**The song in this chapter is Once upon a time by the one and only DCriss ( on youtube /watch?v=lUdoyTmC4iE )**

**If you are reading i love you so much ok enjoy**

**Warning: Some soft smut but meh nothing out of mind**

* * *

**Speak Now Chapter 12: Once Upon A Time**

"You have to be quiet" he whispered.

Lauren bit her tongue, feeling his warm breath on her ear. She rested her entire back against the wall. "I know", she replied quietly.

She heard him laughing to himself, but before she could object against this action, his mouth went to her neck.

She moaned, throwing her head back; feeling those cheeky lips against her skin.

"What did I just say to you?" he asked. Lauren giggled.

_Sassy._

"Sorry."

Sebastian's rough, dry (but wise) hands held her waist strongly, as he kept sucking her neck. His touch was messing up all of her clothes. She looked down, and stared at him while he unbuttoned her shirt. Her breath got heavier.

He looked up too; so their gazes met. Lauren always asked him to do that. His eyes were beautiful. She ignored what kind of connection they had with another person's eyes (or told herself to do it); she just kept that secret to herself.

Sebastian sneaked his hands roughly under her shirt, touching the soft skin on her belly and back as much as it was possible. Her belly was flatter; she lost weight. Sebastian kissed her again, and she kept her eyes open to see his. The pulsations of her heart accelerated.

Ten minutes later, both of them were in rehearsal. No one noticed a thing; no one knew what they were doing hidden in one of the dressing rooms.

They've been secretly making out for two weeks. They never went further, even though Lauren invited him to her department, he always rejected the idea. She knew it was on purpose; but she didn't understand why he didn't want to sleep with her. If there was a forbidden line; they already crossed it.

Obviously no one in the theater could know. They would get in troubles, and probably get fired. The only person who knew was Julia, because Lauren needed to tell someone. She was not only happy, but jealous of her friend's luck. Even more after the mess Zack and Darren had left on her; and all the other things she knew she hadn't been told yet.

The day they first kissed she got home almost crying and Julia comforted her; encouraging her to keep seeing him secretly. She followed her advice, and they started to take advantage of every break off rehearsal to sneak into a bathroom or dressing room, and share secret kisses, touches and words. Sebastian wasn't exactly handsome, and he wasn't very young; but he had something very attractive. The way he acted always leaved her thinking what he really meant; and how he always teased her just made her more curious about him.

Back in the rehearsal room, she was one more in the crowd. Yeah, she was the lead; but making out with the director didn't give her any special treatments. He treated her like usual; but sometimes he treated her like shit too. That day, they were rehearsing the "Funny honey" part for the first time, and in front of the rest of the cast, he yelled at her that she couldn't get any of her parts right, that she was wasting his time making absolutely no effort and that she needed to get herself together soon. He had a rough personality so when he got mad it was just unbearable. She was supposed to stay until late at night; but Sebastian told her to just go home and get it right for the next week, otherwise she shouldn't even bother to come to the rehearsal.

Closing that day's rehearsal like that, the rest of the cast quickly changed their clothes. But Lauren couldn't help but feel like shit because of those words. She took them very personally. He didn't have any need to be so mean and make her look bad in front of the cast; she always took his advices seriously and she didn't need to be yelled at. But he felt the need to embarras her in front of everyone. How could he kiss her and touch her and make her moan in one minute; and lead her close to tears in the other?

What an hypocrite. He had to be doing it on purpose. She was mad and sad. Sebastian didn't even bother to talk to her after the rehearsal. Who he was thinking he was? She left the theater like an upcoming storm.

Walking fast, with a frowned look; she almost didn't notice a very very familiar car on the parking, and a very very familiar face standing next to it.

_That_ was a surprise.

"Zack?" she asked, to him and to herself. She didn't need to walk to him because he did it first.

Indeed, that was Zack. He looked glad to see her; but she looked more confused than anything.

"What are you doing here?" she asked, without realizing her lack of courtesy. She couldn't hide her surprise. Was he waiting for her to leave? How did he know that she was there?

"I'm sorry." He just replied, ashamed. "I found out about your new role, and I just wanted to see you and…" he mumbled. "Congratulate you."

He looked nervous. Lauren couldn't get the frown out of her face. They haven't seen each other in a long time.

"Um, okay." A part of her knew she should say thank you, but the words didn't come upon her throat.

"Do you want to… get something to eat or… something?" he stuttered. He seemed shy.

Lauren looked everywhere before answering; there was no one she could escape with and she felt uncomfortable.

She was skipping every dinner lately, but even if she wasn't, that was just a bad bad idea. So she just sighed.

"What are you doing, Zack?"

"What do you mean?" he asked innocently.

"You didn't come here just to congratulate me." Lauren explained. That was obvious.

He looked at her in the eyes. "I miss you." He said.

She couldn't help but roll her eyes, thinking_If I got a__nickel every time I've been told those same words…_

"Do you remember the last time we tried to-"

"I know, I know." He interrupted her. "But I'm not pushing you to a date or anything. We can just hang out. Like friends."

"Oh, please…" she snorted, unable to believe that. She just wanted to get away from him. "I know you."

"Lauren…" he started; but she shook her head, starting to walk by.

She remembered the damage he caused to her; and she was enough hurt already to go through that all again. He repeated her name once more while she was walking away, but she ignored him. She already lost enough time with guys who didn't care about her.

* * *

The Monday of the next week she tried out all of her costumes; the opening night was in a week and a half. The dress maker was getting crazy with all the sizes she had to reduce due Lauren's figure.

Lauren couldn't be more excited about it; but in that moment she needed to get the Funny Honey song and choreography right, otherwise someone else would be the Roxy. She was comforted, though, when Sebastian announced they would be rehearsing that part on Wednesday at the end of the practice (But she knew she had to be perfect by then). He was especially cold with her that day. And when they had a ten minutes break; he took his decaffeinated coffee cup and sat with the rest of the team; while Lauren stayed alone in a corner pretending to use her phone. Why was he ignoring her? She shook her head when Isabelle and Tom called her to escape five minutes from the theatre and get something to eat; trying to ignore annoying thoughts in her head.

They almost ran to the nearest mini market. When they entered, the cashier whispered something to the lady who was paying, and pointed at them. He probably recognized them. That never happened to her before; she didn't feel like a celebrity at all. Lauren raised her eyebrows to Isabelle and Tom, and they laughed.

"It's so weird." Isabelle said.

"The other day," Tom started, as they walked to the food stand, choosing some snacks "a pap stopped by when I was having a run, and they asked me how my day was."

"Woah, celebrity." Lauren joked.

"That doesn't happen to you, like every day?" he asked.

"Um, no, it never happened to me." She mumbled. She didn't feel like it should neither. It'd be weird, she wasn't famous.

"Just wait until the opening night and they'll get crazy about you." Isabelle stated. "It's just because they aren't sure yet what to think about you. Just- don't let them find out where you live!" she advised.

Lauren laughed. "Sure, thanks."

"Aren't you going to pick anything?" Isabelle said, surprised; while she took some potato chips and Redvines. She shook her head no; Redvines never failed to make her sick only with the thought of them. "God, please, Lauren, you're a stick. Have some cookies or something." She persisted, like if the situation was frustrating to her.

"I'm going to be heavy all the rehearsal, no thanks. I will eat something when I get home." Lauren explained, seriously. Isabelle didn't keep bugging her after she used that tone of voice. She respected her.

Like if the previous conversation had invocated them; when they paid and went out of the mini market with their snacks, a paparazzi was waiting for them outside. He was tall, he had his camera in one hand; and he smiled and walked to them as soon as they stepped out.

"How are the little new Broadway stars?" He asked, approaching them. He had a disgusting I-wanna-be-sympathetic attitude.

"Hungry." Isabelle replied, showing the camera the snacks; and not even stopping her walk. She had a sassy attitude, she wasn't just one girl you could mess with so easily. Lauren hugely admired her.

"How are you getting on the groove, Lauren?" seeing he wasn't getting the response he wanted from that woman, he tried on Lauren. "Is the good life very different from yours? How are the media and the cast treating you?"

"Um-" she stuttered- she was so bad at those things. The camera pointing directly at her was making her nervous; and the guy seemed excited for whatever she was about to say. Isabelle was looking at her; and she knew she had to give a good and short answer. But _the media? Good life?_ She barely had one interview for a magazine; and she was all day in rehearsal to be in the front page of the gossip. "Everyone is great, everyone had been very warmth welcoming me. I had never been in something like this, it's great." She just said, playing with her bottle of water.

"Very warmth, huh? I can imagine. Do you have a boyfriend?"

Lauren frowned. How rude of him to ask that. "Uh, no."

"Do you have heart eyes for someone of the cast?"

He was too quick getting tricky questions for her. She barely finished the last sentence and he was starting the next one. Isabelle saw her awkwardness and stepped forwards her, and said to the cameraman:

"Yeah, with me. We are in love. Have a good day!"

After saying that phrase, she took Lauren's arm and forced her to walk very fast back to the theatre. Tom followed them. Lauren couldn't help but laugh with her jaw dropped at what just happened. She wasn't even that close with her; but she bailed out her.

"That was close. You almost gave the worst first impression in the history of Broadway." Tom said.

"What do you mean?" Lauren asked.

"You are new and you are the lead. You are easily the newest dam of our dear, kind, and especially sexy director." Isabelle explained, her eyebrows were dancing cheekily.

"I don't understand." Lauren said, starting to freak out.

"Nobody says it officially," Tom explained "but he is a womanizer. He likes to hook up with the rookies, the innocent ones. Pretty much anyone. Didn't he try to hit on you?"

She couldn't feel more ashamed of herself in that moment.

"Sebastian? Of course he didn't. He's my coach, please." She lied, like if the only thought of it made her sick. But she bit her cheek nervously.

"Well, sleep with one eye open, because it wouldn't surprise me." Tom finished as they entered to the theatre again. Isabelle hinted that it wouldn't be that bad; because he was pretty good looking. Lauren didn't say anything more.

Sebastian, on the other hand, kept completely ignoring her that day. He focused on the ensemble stuff, and she was working hard but he didn't acknowledge her. She knew the next day would be hard, though. She needed to get the Funny Honey part right. The choreography, the singing, and the passion. All of it.

When she left the theater that day; she couldn't help but laugh seeing Zack and his car waiting for her again. He was very persistent.

"Didn't I leave clear I'm in no way having a date or- however you want to call it- with you?" Lauren said raising an eyebrow, walking to him. The situation was too funny.

"I thought you'd maybe change your mind today." Zack shrugged.

"Nu-uh." She replied, starting to walk through the sidewalk.

He followed her. It was getting dark, but she'd catch a taxi anyway.

"Just a dinner, that's all I ask." He begged.

Lauren laughed, he was so annoying.

A silhouette walked next to her, and she recognized Sebastian. She observed how he walked to his fancy car and got into it without even looking at her.

She frowned again; but this time wasn't due confusion, but due indignation.

"You know what?" she said, turning back to Zack. "Let's have your stupid dinner."

A smile appeared instantly on his face.

He took her to a nice restaurant; but she asked him to be pretty far from the theatre. After today's incident with the paps she couldn't risk to be spotted alone with a guy; and Zack was the less appropriate for it. He asked for a plate of spaghetti and she ordered a salad. Zack laughed at her choice.

"What?" she said, offended.

"Just a salad? Come on, I pay this time." He replied and winked at her.

"It's not that. I'm on diet." She explained, taking a sip of her glass of water. "I need to lose weight."

"That's absurd." He objected. "You are incredibly skinny. Who told you needed to lose weight?" He looked offended too by that accusation.

"It was my coach, but that's not the point. I mean the artistic world is like that, everybody knows it and…"

"Your coach is an asshole. You look smoking hot as you are." Zack said.

Lauren blushed. She couldn't help it. It was a long time since someone complimented her like that. Zack could be a dickhead too; but he had his good things. And you could tell he really cared about her; by his rules, but he did.

He smiled to himself when noticed he finally accomplished something in their relationship. The dinner was good. He didn't try another move on her; they shared a good talk and even a few laughs. When they finished dinner; he offered drive her to her department but she rejected it a thousand times. She said goodbye to him with a kiss on the cheek before taking a taxi.

When she got home and told Julia about that night, she highly disapproved it. "No, no, never again, Lauren. Are you going to relate yourself with that asshole again?"

"He's not that bad." Lauren replied, defending him. He kind of cared about him too. "And we're not doing anything."

"Um, I don't know." Julia thought. "Not just that, the guy is dangerous, honey. Dangerous for you."

"How could Zack possibly be dangerous?" Laure asked, going to the bathroom to brush her teeth.

"I don't know, I have a bad vibe about this, Lo." She said from the bathroom door. She looked serious; like an overprotective mother. "Promise you will take care of yourself."

"I promise, silly." She replied with a smile, her teeth full of toothpaste.

* * *

The only noises in the room were the plates against the cutlery, and the awkward chews of the couple sitting down at the table. Louis was spending the night out, so Darren and Mia were alone.

Like if she had been gathering the courage to talk; Mia left her food apart and looked at him.

"The Garden called me today." She said, with a worried tone of voice. The Garden was the place where they were having the ceremony about between a month. "They said it was impossible to keep the wedding that day. We have to wait a month more, or pick another place."

"Shit, well, we can't wait two months." Darren stated, drinking of his glass of wine and shaking his head. That was the latest thing they needed at that time.

"_You_ can't wait two months." She laughed, but she was rather nervous. She didn't want to fight with him again; but he even seemed to provoke her. "Why are you so hurry? I think it's more important to make it perfect rather than to make it soon. And I really wanted it to be in that place." She looked down.

"Yeah, I know, honey, but do you really think it's worth it to wait that long? I mean, the sooner we get married, the sooner we can move in together and the shorter we have to avoid the paps." He didn't know whether he was making up that or not, but it did make sense. About two days ago some paparazzi cornered them when they were leaving a restaurant; they kept making awkward questions and it was a horrible moment for both.

"I don't think there are any other good places with still free dates for us." She slowly shook her head.

"Well, I have an idea." Darren started. He knew she probably wouldn't want that but he just needed to get time passing fast. "We're just inviting our friends and family, and we didn't want it to be super big and glamorous; so we can prepare something in the garden of my parents' house."

"In San Francisco?" she raised her eyebrow. Her expression gave away that idea didn't convince her at all.

"Um, yeah, but- we can organize a trip for your family and group of friends; and well most of my friends are already far away so they wouldn't have trouble with the distance."

"I don't know, Darren, it's very unconventional…"

"That's the place where I grew up; it's a huge house and I'm sure my parents are not going to have troubles with it…" he tried to convince her.

After a little of struggling, he convinced her. It wasn't hard, though. She didn't want to have another fight after that day's. Sooner, they were picking the guests for the invitations and they argued about who they should invite, for hours. It was pretty stressful. Mia didn't want Darren to invite most of the Glee cast because they'd overshadow their night; and Darren was sure most of them couldn't fly to San Francisco for just one night, but it was a matter of courtesy to invite them. Then, which family member they should or shouldn't invite…; everything triggered a discussion.

When they listed all of Darren's friends, his face went blank when he saw Lauren's name on the invitation. Of course everyone was expecting her to go; she was one of the closest and oldest of Darren's friends. But how could he just walk to her and give her the invitation? He couldn't. She probably wouldn't accept it; having in mind she was completely ignoring his existence.

Like a wakeup call; he just couldn't catch some sleep that night. Mia was breathing heavily next to him and he felt her like a corpse, like if she wasn't even there. He got up and walked to the kitchen. He served some whisky on a glass, and after a few swigs sat down on the sofa and grabbed his guitar. Some distant chords came from his fingers, just messing around; but they didn't sound good to him.

He passed a hand through his dark short curls. Then he bit his lip, leaving the glass of whisky on the floor.

_God, how much he missed her._

But he didn't miss the way they were now. Having her giving him cold looks, and no treats. That's not what he wanted. He wanted to have her like they used to be; like he had her on the rooftop under the night sky, like he had her in the public's swimming pool where he confessed his love to her, or backstage in his show when they just couldn't help but to feel the friction against each other anymore; feeling like if her body was just an extension of his.

He wished he never have done any of that. Because he tried to be good enough for her love but failed at his attempt.

He thought it'd have been better if he had never even kissed her; if they stayed just like friends, that way at least they wouldn't screw everything up like it was now. He just wanted to see her laugh; to be able to see her happy, even if he wasn't the reason of it.

His fingertips slipped through the strings; slowly, almost like a caress. And the words came softly, lowly, from his mouth, barely being heard within the room, occupied by no one but himself.

'_The end' never seemed like it was good enough  
Two little words seemed too small  
I turned the page to find a blank one  
As if the ones before never really happened at all_

It felt like a stab through his heart. The pain that always came back at midnight, when he was alone, with a glass of whisky next to him. When Mia felt like a corpse. When he remembered how much he loved her. When he forgot that he leaved her for their own good.

It seemed impossible to think they were lovers once. Now they were two strangers who couldn't even look at each other in the eye.

_But what about the love, what about the old obsessions  
We fell into, when they were new  
What about the late at night, heartfelt confessions  
The things we tried, the tears we cried  
Well it seemed to have a way_

And even though he wished a million times he wouldn't have ever kissed her that one night after the concert; he still wasn't capable of regretting one single moment he spent with her, because every moment had its own beauty… and he wanted to live all of that again.

_I got one more part for the story book  
One more road that I should've took  
One more thing that used to have my heart  
I got one more place in my memory  
When I wished that they were part of me  
I got to go back, go back to the start_

_I know it's too far down and much too high to climb  
But why can't we bring it on back  
To once upon a time_

He knew everything could've gone different if he wanted to. He could've taken the other option; but now he could only _wonder_ what would have happened. If they never shouted and swore at the top of their lungs, in the same place when they made the other theirs for the first time; and they talked at each other like if they were enemies and saw each other like if they were demons. He could never know.

_Here we are, standing at the finish line  
And I swear, it's like we came a million miles  
And if I take one more step, I will forget the rivers we crossed  
And how we ended will be lost if we say goodbye_

A shiver went through Darren's body. He didn't need to force or to even think the words that came upon his mouth; they were just feelings that were untied that night and he was vomiting one through another.

He thought he had everything under his control, that everything would be fine once he got married with another woman. Who was he trying to fool? The love of his life was blocks and blocks away, probably sleeping alone in a cold bed, having the same nightmares over and over (He knew that happened to her when something was wrong).

_But what about the way our faith wasn't fiction  
It was real to you, it was real to me  
So what about the ups and down, and all the misses  
The things we learned, the stones we turned  
Well that bridge has burned away_

_And now it's just one more part for the story book  
One more road that I should've took  
One more thing that used to have my heart_

He sighed, looking down; losing his sight somewhere between the dark room and his guitar. The pain in his chest was pretty much gone, but now he wanted to cry. He stroke the lasts chords to the song he just made up; holding the sobs that wanted to take control of his body.

_I know it's too far down and much too high to climb  
I just wish we could bring it on back  
To that once upon a time…_

* * *

The group was chatting vivaciously a few feet away from Darren. Apparently they were telling jokes and having a blast. But something was keeping him away from that. Something that could be, maybe, described as fear.

The next day he had a really important event to promote the album and the music video. It was just in honor to him; so he was pretty nervous. It was only a fancy dinner and licking important people's asses, but he wasn't that good at it either. Luckily his manager would advice and help him well.

But that wasn't what was keeping him away, in the kitchen, alone and nervous. He had a packet of papers in his pocket that he was supposed to deliver two hours ago, when he got into JoMo's house.

"Hey, why are you here alone?" Julia walked to him, with a smile and a beer on her hand. She punched him jokingly on the elbow, but he just shook his head.

"I'm fine."

"No, really, what's the deal?" she sat down on the tabouret next to him. Obviously he wasn't.

"Um, you'll be the first one then." Darren said, and grabbed the packet of envelopes from his pocket. When he found her name on the amount of papers, he gave her the invitation.

Julia had the biggest smile on her face when he did it. "Oh my god, Darren. I'm so excited! We are so close to the big day, I almost forgot. How much, like a month?"

"Yeah." He just said, trying to release a little smile.

She read the invitation with eyes more excited than the eyes of the couple that was committing. The girl kept telling him she wanted to help with anything they needed, although Darren told her a billion times they were fine. She was surprised by the fact they were doing it in Darren's parents house, but she found it totally romantic, and she said she would travel as miles as they needed her to.

Darren knew that giving the invitations to the rest wouldn't be a problem; but there was just one he didn't know what to do with.

Julia was about to walk back with the guys, but Darren called her.

"Wait, I need you to do me a favor." He said, trying to find the right way and the right words to do that.

"Sure, what is it?"

"I need you to give this to…" He took the last invitation from the packet (He put it as the last one on purpose); and handed it to her. Julia opened her mouth in a gesture of surprise as she read _Lauren Lopez_ written on the paper; she just forgot about it. But then she took the invitation and added quickly:

"I'm sure she will be happy to go."

"I understand if she doesn't want to go." Darren said; he tried to talk like if the matter was meaningless to him but you could see it hurt him. "But… just let her know I'd love to have her there."

Julia nodded, almost feeling a little of pity for him. For them. She felt the need to hug Darren; and when she did, she felt him sad. She wouldn't have thought he was sad. Not stressed, or angry; just sad.

"Do you know that I'm here for you, even if it's not related to the wedding, right?" she whispered, hugging him tighter. She needed to let him know he wasn't alone.

"I know." He just replied.

Darren knew that Julia was very understanding. But he couldn't drag other person to that disaster anymore.

* * *

That Tuesday was a hard rehearsal for Lauren. Sebastian told her once more she could go home earlier, and she was glad (she shouldn't have to deal with Zack) but a little scared- that wasn't normal.

When the practice ended, and apparently everyone left the theater, she rehearsed the Funny Honey part all alone. The singing part was hard for her; it had a lot of not only high notes, but emotional tones too. She needed to be perfect but passionate. To control herself but to sound uncontrolled too. Definitely that was the hardest part.

She was going through the lines over and over again; but then she started to hear some noises that distracted her. They came from the closest dressing room. Who could still be there? She got a little scared, what if it was an intruder?

She walked slowly to the room; and opened the door without making any sound. That room was full of costumes and clothes and other things everywhere, so it was one of the easiest places to hide –that's why she used to come there with Sebastian.

Those noises were definitely something weird. Some kissing sounds and moans came from the back of a mountain of costumes, so it was too far from her sight. But indeed, a couple was having sex there. Lauren bit her lip in a gesture of surprise; wondering who could be.

She was about to leave those two alone, when one of the voices whispered something, and she recognized Sebastian's voice. At first she thought it couldn't be possible. But the voice kept talking; and she was more and more convinced.

Lauren stuck her head behind a locker; and she saw them. It was Sebastian with his arms wrapped around a woman, kissing her and quickly undressing her. The woman kept moaning under him; and that confirmation hurt even more.

It was Angela.

She felt a thunder of rage on her. She wasn't even so disappointed, but she was mad. Unfortunately the couple didn't either hear her or seen her; because since she recognized them she abandoned any kind of attempt of not to be seen. She was so pissed off she didn't even care.

She left the room with the hardest slamming door. Of course they'd hear it, but at the time they were looking for that someone who interrupted them; she was already outside the theater.

* * *

"Hey, how are you?" Julia asked, walking into the apartment when she came back from JoMo's house. It was late at night, she was surprised to find Lauren still awake. She was in the bathroom apparently just finishing her shower. It wasn't her usual schedule either.

"Fine." Lauren replied, but her tone gave away she was far from being fine.

"What happened?" she asked from the other side of the bathroom's door.

"Nothing." Lauren said, opening the door. She was wearing her bathrobe and her hair was wet; but her expression motionless. Julia noted she was angry, though.

"You sure? You almost killed me just by looking at me."

Lauren walked to the room and jumped to the bed. Julia followed her. "I'm sure." She stated.

"Alright." Julia realized it was useless. Then she grabbed the invitations from her purse, and gave it to Lauren.

"What's this?" she frowned. Oh, she was really cranky that day. But her jaw dropped when she realized what it was. "Oh, no…"

"Lauren, before you start to…"

"No, I'm not going." She said, leaving the envelope on her bedside table. How could he have the courage to invite her? It was a joke? Was he making fun of her?

"Why not? Listen, Darren's our friend and he really wants you to be there for him. It's an important moment and we should support him." Julia tried to be kind and understanding; because seeing Lauren's attitude, that was the best way.

But it was in vain.

"I really don't think I should go, that's all. Mia and I don't have the best kind of relationship." She said. She was lying in the bed with her arms crossed, her eyebrows frowned, and avoiding her friend's gaze at any price.

"We're not going for her, we're going for Darren. To support _him_. Lauren, he used to be your best friend, remember?"

She didn't reply a thing; she tried to stop listening to Julia's words but they made some sense. And she didn't want them to.

"Promise me you're going to, at least, think about it. Please. All the guys are going. It's going to be a blast"

And whenever Julia said a blast, that meant hell for hell. History could prove that.

After a moment, Lauren looked at Julia and slowly shook her head. She wasn't going. But she didn't look angry that time. Julia winced and went to change her clothes. None of them said another word.

* * *

Ironically, somebody thought (and she didn't need to think a lot about it to know who it was) it'd be really funny to leave in her dressing room a magazine, which front page was about Darren's engagement and approaching wedding. She crushed them with her fist before throwing it with the garbage. Another one of Angela's gorgeous gifts.

That day was just getting on her nerves from the start.

Her costumes were almost ready. The big night was close, but that day was the hardest. The Funny Honey part was difficult to her; Sebastian told her she was too soft for the role. And they were practicing that today until it came out good. So, after everybody left the theatre, they were just warming up for the rehearsal.

They went through it for about fifteen times; and none of her attempts were good. She did well at the start, when singing about the love and devotion; but Sebastian wanted something more visceral for the end, he wanted her to practically leave her guts and throat and heart onstage. That was the moment when she needed to impact the public. She was new, she couldn't do it just "fine"; she needed to be outstanding.

"You are supposed to be seducing the public, not singing to your grandma!" Sebastian yelled, walking from one side to another; while she tried to keep going.

It was even harder to focus when he was criticizing her.

Lauren was sweated from head to toes; and her throat was hurting from trying to get right the last part so many times. But, what was consuming more energy from her, was the anger she felt every time she had to look at Sebastian's eyes. She was thinking of what he did to her the last day. It was banging her head. She couldn't stop thinking about it since she saw them. How could he?

"You have to seduce us, Lauren, come on! That's the best you can do?!"

She hated him in that moment. What an asshole. She literally screamed her guts out when the mad Roxy part. But not because of the character, but because she couldn't believe he cheated on her. They weren't in a serious relationship, but still, what kind of game was he playing? He remembered Isabella's words. He did that with every new lost girl? She was actually the stupid one in the story?

First Zack, then Darren, and now Sebastian. Everyone leaved her for someone else. Someone better.

She fell like a stupid for all of them. And they never cared about her.

She focused so much on the lyrics, on letting that anger out through her throat; that she forgot the choreography. It was a feeling that came out from her stomach. She was so pissed off because of everything; and she felt impotent because she couldn't do anything about it.

"What happened with the steps, Lauren?! It's almost midnight, I don't have time for…"

"Shut up!" she yelled, this time at the top of her lungs; so angry and loud like she never yelled.

Sebastian just stood there looking at her, too surprised to say something. He didn't need to, though; because Lauren was the next one to talk. Sebastian's eyebrows were up.

"What does she have?" she yelled.

They were two feet away, but there was no one else in the whole theatre; so the intimacy between them was unbreakable. There was a unsolved tension that she broke with her scream.

"What?" Sebastian asked, confused.

"What does she have? What does Angela have that I don't?" she raised her eyebrows too; teasing him. She couldn't hold it anymore.

"I don't understand-" he tried to wash his hands in the matter, but Lauren wouldn't let him.

"Oh, come on! I saw you two fucking the other day. I know that's how she got here. Don't keep lying to me!"

Lauren wasn't able to believe it, but he laughed.

He, indeed, let out an ironical laugh. She couldn't feel more offended.

"Why does that bothers you so much?" Sebastian asked to her, completely amused.

She opened her mouth, offended, not even knowing how to reply. She was so pissed off you could heat up a cup of coffee only with her killer gaze.

"I thought you cared about me!"

Sebastian, calmed down, walked to her, smiling. He looked at her in the eye before saying gently, words that weren't gently at all.

"Lauren, honey, I do. You are amazing. But you are just a girl."

He tried to put a hand gently on her face, but she quickly stepped back, avoiding it.

So, that was it.

That was the reason Zack cheated on her; the reason Sebastian didn't want her. And, (it hurt so much she put a hand on her tied stomach because she felt like throwing up) that's why Darren picked Mia.

She ran to grab her bag.

"Lauren, don't take it so personally! Come on! I was just messing around." He said, but Lauren knew he really wasn't.

She ran to leave the theatre, and when she got out the wind whipped her, really hard and cold; that she realized she was totally sweated. Her face was probably red.

It was so late she didn't know where to get a taxi. Probably midnight. Maybe more. The streets were deserted, except for one car and one guy which was the last one she wanted to see.

He really waited long this time.

She started to walk in the other direction, but he caught her (like he did the rest of the days).

"Hey, are you okay?" Zack asked. He looked kind of like a stalker now.

"No, I am not, Zack, and the sooner you get lost, the better." Lauren snapped.

She felt a total rejection for men in that moment, and especially for someone like him.

"Let me drive you home. You seem sick and you can't get a cab." He sounded honest, but she didn't want him.

"I will find one." She said walking to the edge of the sidewalk.

There wasn't a single soul on the streets. She bit her lip. She didn't want him to take her home but she didn't see another way to go.

Zack approached her.

"Baby, it's fine. I promise you'll be safe." He whispered, gently pushing her to the car. She didn't feel safe at all, but she just wanted to be at home; so she let him.

But they didn't get there soon. When Lauren gave him the address of her new apartment, he was having problems finding the right direction. Lauren thought that was weird, because he knew the streets of New York like the palm of his own hand. She tried to guide him, but that was just for worse because she didn't have the best sense of orientation.

"I think that's the street… Yeah, take that and go straight until I can see-" she interrupted herself when the car turned and they felt an abrupt hop.

"Shit, sorry." Zack said. "I stepped into the sidewalk."

Lauren frowned. "Are you okay?" she asked him, starting to suspect the worst.

"I'm perfect. Is this the street or not?"

He didn't seem perfect though. Lauren recognized that state.

"Stop the car." She said.

"What's wrong with you? I told you I'm fine." He insisted, starting to get mad. And that only confirmed her suspicions.

"You're drunk. I'm out of this. Stop the car." Lauren said, serious.

"Jesuschrist, woman, can you-?" he started, turning his head back to Lauren (his breath smelled like alcohol), but she instantly hit his arm.

"Look at the street! Now, let me get out!" she yelled, almost begging.

Zack was having troubles driving through a straight line; he didn't stop the car though.

"How stupid I didn't realize you were drunk." She commented, more to herself than to him.

"I'm not drunk, Lauren. Why do you always think the worst of me?"

"And I'm always right, though!" she yelled.

"That's not true!" he turned his head back to her again. When he did that, the car drew a curve on the path.

"Don't look at me, look at the street!" she said. That day had just been the worst of her life. "Fuck…" she muttered, putting her hands on her head and closing her eyes, trying to make that entire drama stop from once.

But Lauren didn't know she shouldn't have closed her eyes in that minute, those fifteen seconds, in that car, that day. Because she wasn't able to see the pickup truck that was getting closer in the other direction of the street; and that Zack wasn't fast enough to avoid.

The only thing she knew is that she could only gasp; when she heard a high chirp scratching her ears, and she felt an indescribable pain on her entire body.

* * *

Darren's event was doing pretty fine. Turns out licking asses wasn't so hard as he thought. Most of the people he already talked to, were flattered to sponsor his album. He still had a long night ahead to go, though. On his table he just had his manager at one side, and Mia in the other. She worked for the media so it was easy for her to make contacts, which helped him a lot that night.

The waiter filled his glass of wine once more. It was midnight.

"Be careful with the wine, you don't want to end up with some of these old magpies in bed, do you?" Mia joked.

"Not before the wedding." He added, taking a sip.

"Hey!" she frowned, but ended up laughing.

They both were better that night. The fights and discussions seemed like an old game. They delivered most of the invitations by then, and everything was pretty much settled down. As Walker told him, Darren's friends from Chicago and New York were organizing a little fun trip to go to San Francisco that weekend.

Just when one of the sponsors were sitting down at his table to talk with him; his phone started to blow off.

"Excuse me." He said to the table.

He stood up and walked quickly to the hall, where there was nobody to annoy him. He saw it was a call from Julia.

"Hello?"

_"Darren?"_ Julia's broken voice called. He could clearly tell she was crying.

"What happened?"

She sobbed before continuing. And Darren's heart just sank in fear from hearing her next words.

_"Please come to the hospital. I don't know what to do. Lauren had an accident."_


End file.
